JulieMom's Blog Book

Chapter Thirty Five

2010-02-05T01:17:00.000-08:00

Tim had called the detox center that evening with a feeling of apprehension. Something was weighing heavily on him, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was. He’d been in constant prayer, asking God to reveal to him what it was, but the Lord had been silent.

The nurse had also been vague, only saying it would be best for him to come and see Monica’s progress for himself. It was a relief to him that she was still at the center, though it may have only been because she was too ill to leave.

Tim shook his head as he thought back to his own experience in detox, and sent up another silent prayer for Monica. Just that afternoon he’d been so sure the Lord was telling them it would be okay, and now he was filled with doubt.

After eating some of the food Joyce insisted on sending home with him, Tim checked his email, grimacing at the amount of message waiting his attention. He ignored them, instead sending an update off to Charlotte Gray in Tennessee, hoping he was persuading her to admit Monica. He well knew, though, that Charlotte didn’t move one step without God’s approval. Well, the information couldn’t hurt.

He waded through the mass of emails he had put off before, then retired to his room for the night. It had taken longer than he expected to answer the correspondence, and all the things weighing on his mind were making him weary. He turned in just as a huge clap of thunder sounded, and rain began to pelt the roof above. Perfect sleeping weather he thought as he turned out the lamp.

***************************************

Charlotte Gray had received Tim’s original email and had prayed often about the woman he described. She read over the latest installment, Tim’s plea for Charlotte to take her under wing, and thought hard. She did have an opening at the moment, but preferred the Lord clearly show her His will before she took one step in planning. She was convinced it was the only reason at all she had any success.

Ms. Gray was not what anyone would describe as physically beautiful. She was of average height and build, and wore her fifty-six years with a certain calm and simple happiness. It was, perhaps, the wonderful light of life in her green eyes that drew people to her.

She was a quiet woman of deep faith who really believed that God could change anyone, for she’d seen Him do it! Over the years her home had been filled with women from all walks of life; from lawyers to prostitutes, and everyone in between.

One of the joys of her life was hearing from the women God had healed from their addictions. Many of them had also been restored to their families, and continued to trust in the God Who had delivered them from the dark and lonely path of addiction.

She had just felt confirmation from the Lord that morning about having the woman Tim mentioned come. The Lord has revealed to her this woman needed a lot of emotional healing, and for this reason, Charlotte felt she would deal with her one-on-one.

Charlotte pressed ‘send’ on her reply to Tim, praying that God would continue to lead her steps, then she moved to the kitchen to get her supper. She had learned long ago not to try and figure out anything of the woman’s past or personality before she arrived. She’s learned the hard way too, that every woman was unique and their addictions were as well.

AS she sat at the kitchen table bathed in the early evening sunlight, she though over what she’d need to do to prepare for Monica’s arrival. She’d put her in the green room just off the bathroom in the main hall and across from Charlotte’s own room.

There were many things running through Charlotte’s mind, and she asked the Lord again to sort her thoughts and lead her to what would be most helpful. Suddenly it was clear what she needed to do, and with a whisper of thanksgiving, Charlotte planned a trip into town the next morning to gather supplies.

******************************************

Joyce and Hank Lepley were not night owls, but there was a special on the Civil War that Hank had roped Joyce into watching, and that’s how they planned to spend their evening. Although she balked at first, Joyce secretly had come to enjoy the history lesson. And she liked spending time cuddled with her hubby.

At the moment, however, they were in the middle of supper. Joyce had made a simple meal of quiche and salad. As they ate they talked about Sarah.

“Hope she’s alright, Hank. You know how painfully shy that child is. What if she wants to come home but that young man is too dense to realize it? She’d never speak up about it, you know. What if he tries to take advantage of her?” Joyce’s hand came up to her mouth in a gesture of worry. “Maybe I ought to give that new cell phone a call.”

Hank tried to stifle his laughter and comfort his wife. “Now Honey, you know as well as I do that Sarah is a smart young woman. She is shy, but she is most definitely not a child. And she would be horrified if you called to check on her.” He gave his wife a knowing look, and acted as though he was caving. “Well, I guess you might as well call up and tell her you think she has poor judgment, since she agreed to go on a date with an obvious serial rapist. You know, I thought that young man looked familiar.” Hank took another bite of quiche and inwardly snickered at the look of shock registered on his wife’s face.

“Hank Lepley, I cannot believe you would say such a thing to me! You know I’m just worried about her. I thought it might comfort her if I called.” The sound of indignation faded as she said “That’s boy’s no rapist, so you just stop teasing this old woman.” A wicked gleam came into her eyes before she added “Or you won’t get any blueberry cobbler.”

Hank reached over and placed his hand over his wife’s. “You know she’s in God’s hands, Joyce. No better place for her to be. And we know they are fine Christian people. But if it’ll make you feel better, we can pray for her again.”

Joyce nodded, and Hank’s rich, soothing baritone lifted their young friend up to the Lord, asking Him to watch over her since they could not. As they cleared the table, Hank noticed the dark clouds headed their way, and hoped the coming storm wouldn’t interfere with their program. “Now wife,” he said “about that cobbler…”

Chapter Thirty Four

2010-02-05T01:09:00.000-08:00

The family introductions hadn’t been as painful as Sarah has anticipated. The twins had been hardly able to contain their excitement on meeting her, Nate had been polite but indifferent, and Josh had growled and snarled. Of course Mr. Williams was as friendly as always, and his wife had even given Sarah a hug as she ushered her into the kitchen.

The warmth of Tyler’s family was accurately reflected in the décor of the home. Sarah looked into each room as they passed, noting each was tastefully done in welcoming colors. And scripture was in every room; sometimes written in calligraphy and framed, other times stenciled on a wall, or a wooden plaque. Sarah relaxed considerably after having been given the tour.

She and Tyler ended up back in the kitchen where ‘make-your-own’ pizza night was in full swing. The twins were concentrating on placing their ingredients just so, while Josh threw what he liked in a big pile on the middle of his dough.

After he washed, he jumped down to run outside and play. Tyler’s mom spread his toppings out, removing some, before placing it in the oven. She turned and offered them a choice of sodas, then set dough out for Sarah and Tyler. “Just put whatever you like on it.”

Seeing Sarah looked a bit lost she added “Just not too much sauce, or your crust will be mushy.” She smiled, then turned to check the oven and wipe the counter around the sink.

Tyler took the sauce spoon and showed Sarah how to spread it evenly. His was a thin layer, and Sarah did her best to copy him. She then added peppers, pepperoni and cheese. Tyler piled onion, ham and pineapple on his before declaring it perfect. They handed their trays over to his mother who put them directly in the oven.

Sarah followed Tyler onto the back deck. The twins had finished just before them and were now playing on a large wooden swing set, complete with a tarp-covered top that Tyler informed Sarah had been used as a clubhouse. Josh and Nate played T-ball to the side of the playground.

Tyler motioned for Sarah to take a seat on one of the plush chairs that lined the glass-top patio table. Sarah turned and gazed up at the house behind her. It was easily the largest house she’s ever seen, and definitely the nicest she’d ever been in.

She watched Tyler’s siblings play, then glanced at the sliding glass door as his parents came out. His mom was carrying a kitchen timer, and his dad two glasses filled with ice and soda.

“Do you want to eat inside or out here tonight Ty?” his father asked, smiling. “You’ve only got ten minutes to decide…so what’ll it be?” Tyler’s mom elbowed her husband.

“Oh stop.” She said teasingly. “You know how Tyler feels about flies on his food. We’ll eat inside. That ok with you Sarah?” She looked expectantly at the girl, giving her a pleasant smile.

“Sure.” Sarah replied. “I’m not much for flies on my pizza either.”

Tyler’s dad shrugged. “That’s only because you’ve never tried it!” he joked.

“Gross Dad!” Tyler laughed. “I sure am glad it’s Saturday. I love pizza night. And wait until after dinner,” he said turning to Sarah. “We always have family games. With you here it makes the teams even.” He looked at his Dad as a thought came to him. “We could even make it boys against girls this time!”

Tyler’s Dad seemed to consider that. “Sounds good to me, Son. If your mother can stand being separated from me that long. You know how clingy she is.” He smiled at his wife, who took his hand.

“I think I’ll live. At least long enough to help the girls whip you at all the games!” she laughed.

A sudden piercing scream interrupted their conversation, and both parents were on their feet at once, running toward the swing set. Jessica was holding both hands over the left side of her face. Nate was already there when his parents arrived, begging her to let him look.

She was crying freely and stubbornly refused to let anyone but her mom look, and that only after her daddy carried her into the house. After the drama made its way inside, Nate came to join Sarah and Tyler at the table.

“Poor thing,” he started. “I was showing Josh how to make better contact with the ball, and he hit a good one; right into Jessie’s face. I think he’s hiding in the clubhouse. He thinks he blinded her.” Mark looked over at Sarah and saw the concern on her face. Tyler cut in to explain.

“Josh is real sensitive about hurting people. He once left his gerbil outside in the little rolly ball they wander around in, and we had a terrible storm that night. When Josh remembered the next day about his gerbil, he searched everywhere, finally finding him drown in his little ball. It had gotten lodged at the bottom of the rain gutter. Now every time he hurts someone he assumes the worst.”

Sarah had put her hand on her heart in an empathetic manner, touched at the burden of guilt this boy carried around. “What a sad story!” she said. “Should we go get him? Maybe he needs someone to talk to him.” Her voice held a worried ring.

Just then the sliding door opened and Tyler’s dad came out. “Why don’t you all go ahead inside? I’ll go get Josh.” He headed toward the awning covered top of the swing set. Tyler and Nate stood and collected the glasses to bring inside. Sarah sat for a moment, marveling over the big man’s willingness to climb into the tiny space to comfort his son.

Sarah stood, and just before turning to go inside, saw Josh’s tear-stained face as he climbed into his father’s lap. She choked back a sob, and excused herself to the bathroom once inside. Silent tears coursed down her face as she recalled the tenderness in Mr. Williams’ touch as he gathered up his son.

She tried not to let her past make her bitter, but she wondered how different her life would have been had her dad stayed around. In this house, with this family who so obviously loved one another, she felt she had missed much.

To fight against the bitterness, she was learning to pray. She took a moment to pray for both her parents, wherever they may be; then felt ready to join the family in the kitchen.

Chapter Thirty Three

2008-03-28T03:37:00.000-07:00

Monica wanted to die. How could she have agreed to three days of this torture? She was in a constant state of pain, physically and emotionally. Her muscles ached from trying to stop the shaking and spasms. The medicine the doctor gave her helped a little, but not enough to make the feelings of hopelessness go away. She wanted so much to leave and be left alone!

Thoughts of her past were constantly in front of her. When she closed her eyes, she could see her baby. When she slept, she dreamed of Sarah and her husband Brad, and how she would probably never see or speak to either of them again.

She had been able to eat more the past day, though that was little comfort. A lot of it had ended up on the floor after waking from another terrible dream. She’d never thrwn up so much in her life. The nurse assured her if she could get through these first few days, things would improve. The nurse with her gentle assurances only made Monica angrier. It grated on her nerves to have this woman, this stranger tell her things would get better.

There was no way to make things better. She’d made a mess of her life and that was it. End of story. No happy ending, no recovery, no nothing. Except pain; that seemed to be the one constant in her life. And she knew she deserved it. She deserved worse. Right now she couldn’t fathom what worse could possibly be, but if there was something, she deserved it.

Her mind wandered momentarily to what might be happening outside this place. Tim was going to call her boss and let him know what was going on. Though Monica thought he’d been angry enough to hit her if he’d been that kind of man, Tim still promised to take care of a few things while she was in detox. She had given him the keys to her house and asked him to let Hank have a look around, in case she decided to sell.

Monica wondered what Tim might be doing now, and why he didn’t just give up on her. She half wanted him to. It would make things that much easier. The mocking voice in her mind assured her that Tim hated her. She should just leave, go back to life as she knew it, and not look back. Tim wouldn’t keep his promises anyway. He’d teach her a lesson yet to pay her back for lying to and hurting him.

The nurse came in then, and informed her Tim had called to see how she was doing. The nurse also said he had taken care of the things he’d promised, and that he was praying for her.

Monica didn’t get her hopes up, but the fact he’d called meant something, didn’t it? That maybe Tim wasn’t as mad as she thought, and would forgive her. She clung to this new hope like a life line. She would stay the three days even if it killed her. And it just might. She rolled over and allowed herself to be sucked into another round of worrisome sleep.

***************************

The air was cool and sweet as it blew against Monica’s cheek. She was in an open field, lying on her back, resting on a picnic blanket. Beside her was an open basket, full of her favorite things. Trees dotted the hillside where she rested, blocking the sun from her eyes. She was searching for shapes in the sky among the clouds. So far she hadn’t seen anything she recognized, but she was enjoying her rest.

She leaned up on one elbow as steps approached. Walking toward her out of the woods was Sarah. She was an adult, and she was beautiful. She smiled as she walked, happy to see Monica there waiting for her. There was a young man coming behind her, and he, too was smiling.

Monica sat up and made room for them on her blanket, but they walked past her. They didn’t seem to see her there, or if they did they ignored her. She called to them to come and join her, but they kept walking. They walked all the way across the field and into the wood on the other side.

Monica wanted to spend time with the beautiful girl that was her daughter. She wanted to know what made her smile so sweetly, and wanted to ask who the young man at her side was. She got up and brushed off the back of her capris. She took a look around; making sure no one else was coming, grabbed up the blanket and basket, and then followed the path Sarah and the young man had made in the grass.

A few feet from the wood Monica stopped. Her heart accelerated, and she felt afraid. She wanted to see Sarah, but she didn’t want to enter the darkness of the wood alone. The basket and blanket felt unusually heavy as they rested on her arm.

Happy laughter floated on the breeze coming out of the wood, and made Monica want to find Sarah even more. She entered the wood and easily slipped through the trees. As she continued, they grew closer together, making it harder and harder to ease through. She walked for a few minutes before it was too difficult.

The trees were now situated in such a way that she could not continue. As much as she wanted to find Sarah and her young man, she couldn’t. Not while she held the basket. But Monica didn’t know how long she would be inside, and was sure she would need the things in the basket once she found them. The things in the basket were precious to her, and she couldn’t imagine leaving them behind.

Monica looked down at the basket and then again at the wood. Bubbling laughter echoed among the trees, drawing her a few steps closer. The basket slipped down into her hand, and she let it rest gently against the ground. She tried to take another step forward, but the weight of the basket prevented it.

She let the handle slip until she was just holding it with the tips of her fingers. She took a step forward, then another, letting the basket slip completely out of her grasp. She turned back and looked at the basket. It was tearing at her to leave it behind. But as she entered the wood, the laughter rang about, bouncing off the trunk of every tree, and bringing a smile to her face. She searched for Sarah and the young man, but found no one.

The farther she went into the wood, the darker it became. Light no longer filtered through the tops of the trees. She turned to look back at the wood where she’d left her basket, but it was obscured by the twisting trunks of wood.

Monica walked slowly, listening now and then to catch a snippet of the laughter she’d heard before. Silence met her, breaking only when she took a step. She felt so alone. The wood was dark, the way was hard, and she desperately wanted to turn around and claim her basket. Just when she was about to give in to despair, she heard the faint sound of voices just beyond where she stood.

“Mother? Come and find us. We’re on the other side of the wood. Come and find us!” Sarah’s voice rang out clearly, a lilting sound that cheered Monica’s spirit. She walked on, hurrying through the thick growth of trees desperately wanting to find Sarah. The farther she went through the wood, the harder it was to see. She felt turned around, unsure of what direction she faced.

She stopped for a moment to gather her bearings. As she stood still and waited, a path became clear to her. One part of the forest wasn’t as dense as the others. She began to slowly walk down that path.

“Mother…are you coming? I’m waiting for you. We’re waiting for you. Mother, please come to us!” Sarah called out sweetly again. Monica slipped carefully through the tight trunks toward the sound of Sarah’s voice.

She continued through the wood, and as she rounded the trunk of the largest tree she’d ever seen, she saw the wood began to thin. Sunlight gleamed through the leaves, making an interesting pattern on the forest floor. Sarah and the young man waited for her at the other side of the wood. They held out their arms, calling to her, and she ran to them, laughing with joy.

Monica awoke with a smile on her face. No longer did she feel the weight of recovery bearing down on her. She no longer felt alone. For the first time, she thought maybe others really wanted her to get well. She had the strangest sensation that the Lord was speaking to her through this dream. She sat up slowly, stretching out the aches from her muscles.

She would fight through this. Sarah wanted her to. Tim and the Lepleys wanted her to. They were waiting for her to let go of the cocaine. To come out of this addiction, the twisted wood that was her life right now. She would do it for Sarah. For them. For herself.

She walked to the bathroom and washed her face. When she looked in the mirror this time, she didn’t see a woman beaten down by addiction. She saw a woman determined to get well, no matter what it took. She knew the road was long, that the way would be hard, but she was determined to get through it. Just like in her dream, she would take one step at a time. And when the path got too rough, she would stop and wait until the Lord showed her the clear way.

Monica's spirit felt strengthened, renewed somehow. She remembered back to the conversation she'd had with the nurse. Tim had asked about her. Surely he hadn't forgotten to pray. She would pray too. She shuffled back to her bed, straightened the covers, then sat beside it on the cold tile, and talked to the Lord.

Chapter Thirty Two

2008-03-28T02:48:00.000-07:00

The first few miles were driven in silence. Sarah had been impressed with the car, but she was sure it belonged to Tyler’s dad. It was a new model, immaculate, and buffed to shine in the afternoon sunlight. Tyler finally asked Sarah “So, what’s in the packages?”

Sarah looked to the back seat where she’d placed her duffle and the container of scones. “Well, I wasn’t sure what I should wear,” she brought a hand up to her right ear and lightly touched the earring there. “You didn’t tell me what we’d be doing, so I packed some different clothes, just in case. And the plastic container has blueberry scones that Joyce and I made this afternoon. It was my first time baking, but I think they should be alright.”

“Scones? I’ve never had those before. Sounds good. I love blueberries.” Tyler stole a quick glance at Sarah. “And your clothes are fine, trust me. You look very nice.” She looked better than very nice. She was beautiful. He’d never seen her with her hair up other than in a ponytail. Her profile was very feminine, and her skin was very smooth. He had a hard time keeping his eyes on the road.

He wasn’t sure how to tell her they would be spending the evening with his family. It had sounded like a good idea in his mind, but maybe it would be overwhelming for her. That was the last thing he wanted. And with the way she looked, he wouldn’t mind sitting across a table from her, alone, talking for the evening.

He cleared his throat and decided just to say it. “Hey Sarah, would you mind terribly if we just hung out at my house tonight? My family will be home, and they’d really like to get to know you better.” He stole a glance at her and didn’t notice any immediate expression on her face. But he added quickly, “If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Just tell me and I’ll call dad and let him know there’s been a change of plans. No problem.”

Sarah Stiffened and took a moment to answer. She didn’t want to feel like she was on display tonight. Tyler and his dad had been very nice, but what if his family asked a lot of questions? She was deeply ashamed of her past and didn’t want to have to explain that. She wasn’t good at meeting new people. But she also didn’t want Tyler to be offended. Obviously this is something he wanted.

Well, she would trust the Lord to help her through it. She wouldn’t answer questions that made her uncomfortable, and if things got really bad she would just ask to be taken home. She forced a smile to her lips before replying.

“Sure, that sounds nice. Can you tell me about your family? I’m sure you’ve told them something about me. I just want to level the playing field a little.” Sarah hoped it would help her relax to know a little about the people she was going to meet.

“Let’s see, I guess I should start from the top down. My brother Nate is the next oldest after me. He’s fifteen. He’s awesome at baseball, likes cars, and has brown hair and eyes. He’s a nice guy, but really keeps to himself.

“After him there’s a bit of a gap. Jessica and Amy are next. They’re eight years old, and they are twins. You’ll know it too. A lot of people get them mixed up. They both have light hair and blue eyes like me. They talk way too much, will want to be your new best friends, and probably embarrass me.” He smiled at Sarah before continuing.

“Last but not least is Josh. He’s six and really into dinosaurs. A few weeks ago he wouldn’t answer unless we called him T-Rex. It was funny at first, but then mom got a letter from his teacher…and that put a real stop to it.” Josh chuckled and glanced at Sarah. Her face has a soft expression on it, and he could tell she was interested in learning about his family. Tyler went on. “He still growls when answering no to a question, but it’s better than it was.” Tyler laughed as he recalled dinner just the week before. Josh sure was a character.

Sarah sat and took it all in, trying to picture in her mind what the family would be like. There were so many kids! They sounded normal enough. She went over and over their names in her mind, trying to memorize them before they arrived. She’d never been around twins before, nor did she have any brothers. She thought it might be fun to have little sisters for a night.

As they neared Tyler’s house, Sarah tried not to grow more nervous. This was not like her old neighborhood. The houses here were huge, each with a meticulously groomed lawn. Every house had at least two garages, most three, with various new model cars parked in the drives. None of the houses were covered in siding, but each had a unique stone or brick facing, bringing the whole scale of the neighborhood up a notch.

Sarah looked down at her clothes again and hoped she looked ok. She smoothed her hands down her jean legs, then patted her hair, wishing she could look in a mirror without Tyler seeing her. She ran her tongue over her teeth, felt they were clean, and let out a small sigh.

As she looked out the window, she couldn’t help but wonder if the people living in these houses were happy. She’d taken runs through neighborhoods like this before, and had seen at times only two older people living in a house obviously built for a large family. She wondered what made people do that.

Once she had risen very early in the morning for a run, and when passing a large home like these, she heard the husband and wife arguing. They had said some very hateful things to one another. Sarah figured money didn’t make people happy, although it sure gave the appearance of perfection.

There was a very large house at the end of the cul de sac that made Sarah’s eyes widen. It was like a doll house. She had imagined a million times in her youth living in a house just like it, with a new family full of brothers and sisters. And parents who loved one another.

Tyler glanced over and followed her gaze. “That’s my house. The whole family was planning on being here. It should be a fun night.” He parked the car, turned off the engine, and faced Sarah. “Are you ready?” He took in the look on her face, and decided they could both use a little help from the Lord. “Would you like me to pray?” he asked.

Sarah nodded absently. Her insides were quaking, and she thought about telling him to just take her back home. But she closed her eyes and listened with quiet thanks as Tyler asked God to help her relax, and for them all to have a good time. Sarah then opened the door, and tried to get out, forgetting to remove her seat belt. An earring caught on the strap, and her head was jerked to an odd angle. She quickly sat back, disentangled her earring, and took a deep breath.

Her cheeks blushed as she turned to the side to release the clasp. Tyler had already exited the car, and she was relieved he hadn’t seen her. He helped her get her things from the back seat, and then they walked to the house. Sarah worked hard at controlling her breathing, while taking in the massiveness of the home.

The lawn was lush and green, with a stone walkway running from the drive to the front door. Along the front of the house were flower beds full of hydrangeas, lavender, and a few other plants Sarah didn’t know.

A tall Maple stood sentry at the far side of the lawn, its little helicopter seeds flying down toward the ground in their trademark twirly pattern.
The front of the house was lined with large, sparkling windows. As they approached the front entrance, Sarah took in the stone face of the small porch. She placed her hand against the cool rock, and tried to settle herself down.

Sarah reminded herself they were just people. No, they were Christian people. Surely that would make a difference. That thought did comfort her some. So did Tyler’s reassuring smile as he opened the door for her. Sarah didn’t want to be the first to enter the house, but she couldn’t refuse his gentlemanliness. As she stepped through the doorway, she saw the family all lined up, waiting to greet her. The look on Tyler’s mother’s face calmed her instantly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.

Chapter Thirty One

2008-03-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

It was late Saturday afternoon, and Tim was headed to the Lepley’s to explain what was going on with Monica. Surely they would wonder what happened when they didn’t hear from her. Tim was convinced the Lepleys would be crucial to Monica’s recovery; like parental figures. They would help reassure Monica and would most definitely pray faithfully for her. When he arrived at their house, he took a moment to pray. He didn’t want his emotions from the previous night’s happenings to add unnecessary drama to the story. Tim wanted to meet with them to formulate a game plan of how they would continue to support Monica when she was released, should she still desire to stay clean.

Lord, I’m here for one reason. I want Monica to have the best support system available when she’s released. Hank and Joyce have offered themselves and their home to her whenever necessary. I want Your words and Your heart of compassion to lead this discussion. Please help us formulate a realistic plan to help Monica. Please be with her at the center, as I’m sure it’s not going well right now. Comfort her body, protect her mind, and help her accept the therapy offered to get past the constant need for the drug. I remember those days. It’s horrible. Thank you for the opportunity she has to get clean, and help her not to waste it. In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.

As he walked with a confident step toward the front porch to ring the bell, he noticed a car with two young people inside backing down the drive from behind the house. Tim didn’t know who lived with the Lepleys at the moment, but he slipped up a hand in greeting as the young man saluted. Tim turned his attention back to the house. He felt good about what would happen here. Hank and Joyce had always been behind his ministry, and the first to volunteer to be a support system for people going through the program.

Hank answered the door. “Hey, Tim. Glad you could make it. Come on in. The Missus is just putting together a little something for us to snack on while we chat. Make yourself at home.” Hank waved at the couple now at the street, then opened the door wider for Tim to step through.

The men shook hands, and Tim replied “Thanks, Hank. I know these aren’t ideal circumstances, but we knew Monica would have to go through detox sooner rather than later. I just have to fill you in on a couple details prior to her admittance to the center.” They paused in the entryway for a moment before Joyce could be heard from the kitchen.

“Now Timothy, you just take that jacket right off and make Hank hang it on the hooks in the entry way. Then you get settled in at the table. I’ll join you in a minute. Hank, make sure you hang up his jacket.” The men smiled at one another as the clattering in the kitchen continued. Tim thought he smelled cinnamon. As Hank took his coat, he sniffed the air loudly. “Yep, she made her world-famous cinnamon coffee cake, and a few other trays of things. I’m not sure what all is there. But it looked good. I just got a small peek before getting shooed out of the way.”

Tim raised both his eyebrows, but before he could comment Hank summed up his thoughts. “She always makes way more food than we need, but somehow before whatever gathering is over, most of it manages to be gone. Watch yourself.” With that he patted his protruding abdomen and led Tim to the dining room table. A moment later Joyce came in carrying a tray laden with baked goods and mugs of coffee. “I wasn’t sure when you’d eaten last, so I made some food. Hope you like cucumber and tomato sandwiches. And there’s a coffee cake and blueberry scones. I’ll be right back. I just need to get another tray.”

She bustled out again, and the men began filling their plates. The food all looked good to Tim, who hadn’t eaten lunch that day. The table was set with the plates all at one end, and the trays of food on the other. Joyce was making her last trek into the kitchen, and returning with a tray of cold drinks. She put the final tray in place, sat down with a sigh and said “There. I think we’re finally ready to pray. Tim, would you do the honors please?” Tim said a short prayer asking for wisdom during their meeting, thanking God again for the Lepleys and blessing the food.

Conversation was light during the meal, and Tim purposely didn’t get into any important details until his appetite was satisfied. Tim pushed his plate away and refused more food. He was debating mentioning he would host the next meeting, if only to save him from gaining a belly like Hank’s. Joyce certainly was a fine cook. He would have to show better control in the future. Either that or increase his daily run.

“So as you can see, it won’t be easy from here on out.” He began. “There is obviously no trust on my end. I think the sooner she gets into Charlotte’s place in Tennessee, the better. You know how many people she has helped. Sometimes just a change of scenery and a real chance to start over is all people need. That and the Lord, of course.” Joyce had been nodding her agreement.

“I think it’s a fine idea, Tim. But we need to wait and see what happens these next three days. Do you think she’ll make it? Hank looked over at Tim too, a question in his eyes. “If she doesn’t, what’s the next step? It’s all well and good to plan things out like all will go the way we want, but you know better than we do how quickly circumstances change. What if she leaves the detox and you can’t find her? Sure, you know where she lives, but there’s no guarantee she’ll let you help again.”

Tim had thought about that. He knew he couldn’t force Monica to do things his way. Tonight the Lord had totally intervened. There had been a room for her, and a space in the program she’d needed. He was confident she would see through the three days. “You know, I just have a feeling it’s going to be ok. I think the Lord really opened the door here, and they way things stand, I think she’s too scared not to follow through. I made it perfectly clear that I was done playing games.” I plan on calling up there tonight to check in. What they tell me will give me a good idea of what we’re up against. I’m sure she’s wishing she never met me.” Tim gave a wry smile. “Whatever the case, we just need to be vigilant in prayer. The Enemy is going to be hitting her hard while she’s there, bringing up all kinds of failures in her past, her addiction, her thoughts, and using them against her to make her want to leave and get a hit. She’s still under the impression it’s the only thing that will help her.”

He looked back and forth between the Lepleys. “But we know better." Hank gave him an understanding smile, and spoke. "Why don’t we bring it before the Lord right now? We’ve talked about everything we can. The Lord will lead in the rest. Would you like to start Tim?” Hank asked gently. Tim did.

They took the next hour to pray for Monica. They prayed for her physical recovery; that it would be quick and complete, and also spent quite a while asking the Lord to protect her mind from the things the Enemy would surely throw at her. Joyce asked that God would show her His love, and allow them to continue to be a positive influence on her life. She prayed any bitterness that Monica held onto would be shattered, and she would see herself as God saw her, and claim the blood of Jesus every day.

It was a refreshing time for them all, and brought them closer together, uniting them further in their purpose. They knew God wanted to do something wonderful in Monica’s life. They just had to trust that His will was perfect, no matter the outcome. They also had to trust that Monica would listen to the Lord.

Chapter Thirty

2008-03-28T00:32:00.001-07:00

Sarah walked back to her apartment after the mall trip with Joyce. Joyce. She still couldn’t believe Mrs. Lepley wanted her to use her first name. She would have to get used to it.

Sarah noticed her bag still by the front door, ready to bring on her date with Tyler. A quick glance at the clock on the DVD player told her she had an hour and a half before Tyler came to pick her up.

Her hair was still up tight in the claw clip, and she was pleased with her clothing. After lunch she and Joyce had done some more window shopping, and Sarah had found a few pairs of earrings she liked. Joyce encouraged her to purchase them, saying she definitely needed them.

Sarah had laughed at the time, but Joyce explained that although Sarah needed to be careful with her spending, the earrings were on sale, and she had worked very hard to earn her full college scholarship, so she deserved a little treat for herself.

As she walked into her bedroom, she took them out of the small bag the store had placed them in, and held them each up to the light. The first pair was dangly; delicate, beaded silver metal chandeliers that matched the pink in her button up shirt exactly. She still felt little self-conscious buying things that weren’t necessary for survival, but that was something she would have to get over.

She put them on and looked at her reflection in the mirror above her dresser. She was pretty, she supposed. At least she looked presentable. She practiced the kind of smile she would use when she met Tyler’s parents.

After a few moments she started feeling silly, and quit. She saw her Bible in the reflection of the mirror. She had left it on her bed when she answered the door earlier that morning.

Sarah sat on the edge of her bed and prayed silently to the Lord.

Jesus, I am nervous. The closer the time comes to going, the more I don’t want to. I know Tyler is a nice guy, and his dad was really nice too, but what if I’m out of place at their house? Surely Tyler has told his mom about me. Please help me to be myself, to honor you with my words and actions, and to have a good time. Help me not to continue shutting people out.

Thank you for the Lepleys and the love they’ve shown me. I know Your people are so good. I am learning to be more open. I pray you would keep us safe as we drive around, and let it be a great time. I love you Lord, and thank you for letting me make a friend before I go away to school. It’s a nice feeling. In Christ’s name, amen.

Sarah wandered around her apartment for a while, restless. Even after putting away her few breakfast dishes, Tyler wouldn’t be coming for another hour. Sarah decided to go and see if Joyce needed help preparing food for the meeting she was hosting later that afternoon. Sarah wasn’t sure how many people were coming, but from the load of groceries Joyce purchased, Sarah thought it must be quite a crowd.

She decided it wouldn’t hurt to ask- the worst Joyce would say is no. If she would just be in the way, Joyce would tell her. Sarah took a last glance around to make sure everything was in place, locked her apartment, slipped her keys in her jeans pocket, and headed around to the front of the Lepley’s house.

*************

Joyce answered the door and was pleasantly surprised to see Sarah standing there. She looked like she needed something to keep her mind off the upcoming outing.

She opened the door with a smile, welcoming Sarah inside. After brushing her hands off on her apron, she asked “What can I do for you? Oh- those earrings make the outfit! Not that it didn’t look nice before, but those are just the right touch. Anyway, how can I help you?”

Sarah had lifted her hands to her ears at the mention of her new earrings, and was now lowering them back to her sides.

“Well, I have nothing to do, honestly, and I was wondering if I could help you prepare the food for your meeting? If I’ll be in the way, I understand. There’s always the TV downstairs, or my Bible I could read. Or I could walk laps around the back yard.” Sarah looked sheepish at her rambling.

Joyce laughed. “Goodness. I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say at once! You must be nervous. You just come on in here and help me out. I appreciate it. Hank likes to eat, but the prep work is not his forte. There’s lots to do.”

Sarah followed Joyce into the spacious kitchen, and was immediately handed an apron. She slipped it carefully over her head and tied it around her waist.

“You do not want those pretty clothes to get ruined mixing scone dough. Flour goes everywhere.” Joyce fluttered her hands about to illustrate her point. “The recipe is there on the counter. I just finished gathering the ingredients. Let me know if you have any questions.”

Sarah looked at the recipe, and was at a loss. She had never baked before. She thought maybe she could do something simple like chop up stuff, or wash dishes. Make scones on her own? No, this was beyond her. She was debating what to do about it when Joyce came up beside her.

“Sarah, have you ever baked before?” She asked kindly.

“No. I have no idea what to do. I mean, I can read the recipe, but I’ve never used a mixer or anything before. Could I wash dishes or something instead?” Sarah backed away from the counter a bit and looked hopefully at the sink.

Joyce put her hands on her hips and replied “Absolutely not! You need to learn to make things. Scones are really easy. I know it looks like a lot of instructions, but really they’re simple. Why don’t we make two batches and you can bring one with you to Tyler’s? That’s what we’ll do.”

So the next ten minutes were spent explaining baking terms, how to cut butter into flour, and then how to knead without overdoing it.

Sarah had successfully mixed in blueberries, patted the dough into a circle, and transferred it to the baking sheet without dropping or spilling anything.

She smiled at Joyce. “That was easier than I thought. Thank you.” She washed her hands in the sink and prepared to clean off the counter. “What’s next?”

“Well, now,” Joyce began. “I think the next thing to do is schedule cooking lessons. What do you say? We could do this every Saturday morning. We can bake, or cook- anything you like. And I would feel useful.”

Sarah didn’t know what to say. She was definitely interested. This had been a fun experience. She couldn’t wait to taste the scones, her first attempt at baking.

As Sarah put the baking pan in the oven, she answered “I think that would be great. I would love to learn how to cook. I’ve never had the chance to before, but I think I like it. Thank you, Joyce.”

Sarah then learned how to make the glaze that would be drizzled over the scones before putting them in a plastic container for traveling.

When they were all finished, Sarah had ten minutes before Tyler was supposed to come. She bid Joyce goodbye, let herself out, and tried to be calm as she carried the scones to her apartment at the back of the house.

She let herself in and checked her face in the mirror. She couldn’t see any flour, but she wiped at her cheeks just to make sure. She checked her hair again, was satisfied that it was holding fine, and sat on the living room, waiting. Her stomach felt nervous with excitement. She sat forward on the couch, then leaned back again, and finally stood looking carefully out the window. She hoped Tyler wouldn’t be late. The waiting was killing her.

Chapter Twenty Nine

2008-03-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

Monica awoke to the sound of her name being called. At first she felt like she was at the end of a long tunnel just catching the end of an echo. Gradually the voice became louder, clearer, and she felt someone shaking her gently.

“Monica. Monica. Time to try and wake up. Doctor Huffman is here for an evaluation.” A nurse was in the room, had been the one speaking.

Monica’s eyes opened reluctantly. The light of the room pained her, and she shut them again. “What kind of evaluation? I feel like crap. Really bad crap. What else does he need to know?”

The nurse was not put off. “You need to sit up and let him ask you some questions. Then you need to try and eat something. It’s been almost nine hours. Come on, let’s try.”

Monica groaned as the nurse tried to help her sit up. Her muscles were sore, like she’d just had the workout of her life. She was also extremely irritable. “Stop pulling so hard! I’m achy here. I can do this myself.” She jerked her arms away from the nurse and attempted to sit at the edge of the bed.

Nausea hit her immediately, and although she had eaten nothing since the afternoon before, she dry heaved. The doctor stood and ticked off things on some list Monica couldn’t see.

“What are you supposed to be doing? Why aren’t you asking me questions so you can get out of here?” She was annoyed by his presence.

“Alright. I’ll ask my questions and let you get back to resting. I can see you’re suffering from nausea and muscle aches. And,” he added with a chuckle “irritation and agitation. Anything else I should be aware of for now?”

“Well, when I went to the bathroom this morning my legs about gave out. I was pretty shaky.” The thought came to Monica that she might never be alright again. “This won’t last forever will it? I mean, my habit hasn’t messed me up this bad forever, right? This will go away soon. It has to.” She looked quickly back and forth between the doctor and the nurse.

Monica had a bit of a wild look in her eyes, a scared look. The doctor and nurse exchanged glances, and the doctor mouthed ‘paranoia’ to the nurse, and checked another box.

“Now, don’t you worry, Monica. We’ve got some medicinal drugs to help counter the effects of the cocaine in your system. These next few days and weeks are not going to be easy. You’re going to be moody and achy a lot of the time. But if you trust us to help you, we can work together to make your system clean. Can we count on your cooperation?”

Monica nodded absently, and wondered when she could go back to sleep. It seemed to be the only cure for the pain and emotions she felt. But to sleep meant to dream, and she didn’t want to do that either.

The doctor wrapped up the brief meeting and headed off to do other work. The nurse remained, offering Monica a lunch tray. She understood if Monica didn’t want to eat, but reminded her that the shakiness would not go away without some nutrition. Then she left as well.

Monica sat still on the edge of her bed, unsure of what to do. She felt terrible physically. She was angry and wanted a hit badly. She looked over the lunch tray and picked at a fruit cup. The other food was left untouched.

She climbed back onto her bed, and sat with her back propped up with pillows against the wall. She folded her arms and let her head rest against them, propped on her knees. It had been less than twelve hours since her arrival and she already wanted to die. The doctor had said the upcoming weeks would be hard. Weeks?

She was going to feel like this for weeks? This was not ok. Something had to give. Either they would fix her immediately or she would leave to get a fix.

Three days. You promised three days.

“I never…” Monica started to argue with the Voice in her mind, but remembered her promise.

Monica gritted her teeth. “Alright!” She shouted to the air. “I’ll stay for three days. But I’m not promising any more than that. You’ll just have to get over it.”

Then she remembered Who the Voice belonged to, and she was suddenly afraid He would strike her dead. And although she had wanted that earlier, she thought about Sarah and wanted to live. She wanted, if she survived this ordeal, to find her and try to make things right. She had to.

A new voice made its way into her thoughts.

Like she wants anything to do with you now. After all you’ve done? Right. She probably wishes you were dead. Maybe she thinks you already are. You’ll never get better anyway. What’s the point?

Monica tried to shut out the voice, but it was persistent in making her discouraged, trying to convince her it was hopeless. Maybe it was. The thing she wanted most of all was a hit, even more than she wanted to make things right with Sarah.

*************************

Tim was just returning home from a long run through the neighborhood to try and shake the mounting stress since dealing with Monica the night before. He had given his anger and frustration over to the Lord, and he felt somewhat better.

Still, there was a lot to work out before Monica was released. And though it was probably a good two weeks away at the least, he wanted to be ready. He had already called the Lepleys that morning to set up a strategy meeting for later that afternoon.

They were great people; real supports for those trying to overcome addictions. Time and again the Lepleys had opened not only their hearts, but their home to people in need.

Tim knew those recovering from addictions were not always easy people to be around, and knew without a doubt that God had given the Lepleys a special grace to minister to them.

As he thought about all the Lepleys had done in the past few years to help the ministry get off the ground, he poured himself a glass of water, and headed upstairs to shower.

He wanted plenty of time to spend in prayer, asking the Lord for wisdom and guidance. If there was one thing he had learned in the time he’d been leading Celebrate Recovery, it was that God knew exactly what every addict needed to recover. Tim planned to make sure he was led by the Spirit in his dealing with Monica. That was the only way to ensure he would actually be helpful.

And based on how his own detox had gone, Monica must have been starting to feel the effects about now. Surely she wasn’t sleeping well either, and that wouldn’t help. God would have to work on her behalf and heal her from the inside out. Hopefully she would cooperate.

Chapter Twenty Eight

2008-03-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Lepley and Sarah walked into the mall from the covered parking garage. There weren’t many people out for a Saturday, and Sarah assumed it had something to do with the weather forecast. She glanced at her cell phone and saw the time was eleven fifteen. They had plenty of time to shop without rushing. Mrs. Lepley looked over at Sarah and smiled. “You know, dear, with you living at our house, and being an employee at the library, what do you say it’s time you started calling me Joyce? I mean, you’re almost a high school graduate. Are you ok with that?”

Sarah was surprised, but pleased. “Yes, that’s fine, if that’s what you want, Joyce.” She laughed then and Mrs. Lepley joined her.

“Sounds good. Since we’re out shopping as friends, I would say it’s better to call me Joyce. I don’t call my friends Mrs. Williams, or Mrs. Johnson. I call them Patty and Tonya.” She gestured to the near-empty mall. “Looks like lots of folks decided to stay home today. Oh well, more good stuff for us!”

They walked in silence for a while, just glancing in shop windows here and there. Then Joyce wanted to turn into a large department store. “They always have more selection, and are cheaper than the specialty shops.” She stopped Sarah with a hand on her arm. “Not that I plan to buy something cheap, mind you. Hank’s brother,” she paused for a second before sharing her thought. “Well now I guess you should call him Hank too, if you’re calling me Joyce.”

She laughed at herself, then continued her train of thought as they entered the store. “Hank’s brother can always tell where you’ve purchased something, and if it’s inferior quality. So, I will be purchasing something nice but not too nice. I do have a budget.”

Sarah just nodded, and wondered what kind of person would care where a gift was purchased. It should mean a lot that people remembered his birthday at all, rather than how much they spent on it. Sarah would never understand some people.

As she strolled through the store, Sarah noticed many clothes for young women were very immodest. There were so many halter tops, low rise jeans, and tight fitting shirts, that she would have been hard pressed to find something for her date if necessary. Didn’t those girls know that men liked the look of those kind of clothes, but cared nothing about the person inside?

She shook her head and followed Joyce. They ended up in men’s wear. Joyce was rummaging through shirt and tie sets, and muttering under her breath. Finally she threw her hands up in the air and said “Well, I don’t know what to get him. Doesn’t seem like a thing in here fits who Jim is.”

Sarah shrugged a shoulder and twisted her mouth to one side in agreement. Not that she knew the man. “Joyce, does Hank’s brother know Christ?”

“Yes he does. He’s been a Christian for almost forty years. Why do you ask?”

Sarah wasn’t sure she should suggest what she was thinking, but what could it hurt? “Well, I was thinking that if he was a committed Christian, then he might like a donation made to a ministry in his name. You know, a worthy cause like a children’s home or a battered woman’s shelter. Don’t you think that would be a better use of money than giving him something he may ultimately turn up his nose at when you’re not around?”

Joyce thought for a moment before breaking out in a genuine grin. Even her eyes lit up as the idea took root. “You know what? We make much too big a deal of birthdays, don’t we? I think your suggestion is just what I’m looking for. I’ll buy him an expensive card, and write a note with a tax receipt inside, proving the donation to him.” Joyce laughed.

“I can’t wait to see his face!” She covered her mouth with her hands in mock surprise of what she had just let slip out of her mouth. “I mean, I can’t wait to help out a ministry. What a blessing it will be.” Then she cleared her throat in a teasing way, and lead them out of the department store and over to the stationery store.

There were many cards for all occasions, and they finally found the section reserved for birthdays. After narrowing it down to the ‘brother’ category, they began the search for the perfect card.

Many of them were too lame, or too serious to give. Some were corny with a mismatched rhyme scheme. Others had cartoon drawings which weren’t what Joyce wanted at all. Several had made them both laugh out loud, and a couple made them blush. Those were replaced quickly while looking over their shoulders to make sure no one had seen them read them.

Finally Sarah picked up a card with a picture of a sunset over the mountains on the front and words that said ‘For you dear Brother, on your birthday’ in a nice script. On the inside was a Bible verse and a sentiment that fit what Joyce wanted exactly.

“Perfect! Thank you, Sarah. Now we can go get some lunch. My treat.”

Sarah didn’t understand why Joyce was always treating her, but she wouldn’t turn down the offer. Her stomach grumbled, and they made their way toward the food court.

********************

Tyler was in the middle of waxing the car when his dad came outside to join him. “Hey, Son. You’re doing a great job there. You know you could’ve just taken it down to Clean and Shine and had them do this.”

Tyler put down his rag for a minute and wiped his brow. “Yeah, I know. But then what would I do? It’s exactly” he looked at his watch “four hours and ten minutes before I need to be there. Three hours and forty minutes before I need to leave the house. What am I supposed to do with all that time?” He grinned at his Dad and went back to working the wax into the car.

“Is there anything you want to talk about Ty? You know, I’ve been where you are before. This is your first time to be with Sarah in a social environment. I know you want to have a good time, and I think you will. But make sure you don’t set the bar too high. Remember our policy on dating. It’s not just going out with a series of girls to pass the time while you wait for the one God has planned for you. You will take this time to get to know Sarah.

“We’ll get to know her too. She just came to the Lord, and she has a lot of emotional baggage that won’t be easy to deal with. Right now what she needs most is a friend who will pray with her and for her. Don’t let any romantic ideas cloud things. Pray and let the Lord guide this friendship.”

He walked over to place a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “You know your mother and I love you very much and are proud of you, right?” Tyler nodded. “And we want God’s very best for your life. So many young men your age are fixated on sex and the female body that they never get to know the person inside the body. Get my drift?"

Tyler looked up at him, squinting against the sun. He finally raised a hand to shade his eyes. “Yeah Dad, I know. I’m not trying to make this out to be any big deal. It’s just that I feel like God wants me to be there for her. We’ll be at the same college, and I guess I want her to feel like she can count on me if she needs something. That’s all. She’s had such a hard life, and yet she’s so sweet.” He dropped his hand and lowered his head. “I don’t know. I think she’d like to see what a real family is like, don’t you?”

Tyler’s dad was filled with pride at his son’s words. He knew Tyler was a young man following God, but it was good to hear his thoughts confirm it. “Yeah Son, I do. Thanks for talking with me. Want some help? This could cut into clothes- picking time you know.” He laughed then, and Tyler lightly whipped him with his rag.

“Yeah, I guess if your old back can take all the bending, I could use your help. But I don’t want to hear about it tomorrow when you can’t get out of bed.” Tyler’s dad grimaced and made like he was an old geezer, bending over with one hand on his back, and shaking the other when he reached toward the rag Tyler offered him.

He spoke in a strained whisper with his lips curled as if he had no teeth. “Say Sonny, do you think you could hand me that rag there? I’m afraid if I try to reach it meself that I’ll fall right over. Hips ain’t what they used to be ya know.”

Tyler threw the rag playfully at his dad’s face. His dad caught it in midair with his left hand. “Hey, you catch pretty good for an old geezer. You’re not even left-handed. Maybe you’ll be alright.” Tyler said. They shared a good chuckle then got to work.

Chapter Twenty Seven

2008-03-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

Monica’s first night at Detox was miserable. Miserably boring, that is. She had been made to sit down with a doctor for a full medical history and evaluation, informing him of how much and how often she’d used, and when the last hit she’d had was. Though the doctor was nice enough, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

She didn’t like talking about her habit as an addiction. She wasn’t really addicted. She was an occasional user. She used it to party hard, or when she needed an escape from the mounting problems of her past. The fact that the need for escape had been daily escaped her.

Since she’d been almost 30 hours without a hit or bad craving, she didn’t expect to have many withdrawal symptoms. But the doctor informed her that she was probably nervous and her adrenaline was over-producing, warding off the effects of withdrawal. Once she was settled at the center she would begin to feel it in earnest.

She lay in her bed that night with nothing to do, no books to read, no TV, no movies. Just her thoughts. And that was not such a good thing. Her mind kept wandering to the events of the past few days.

She had never stolen before for any reason. Not even for her habit. There had been no reason to steal. She had a good job and made sure what she couldn’t pay was put on her tab with Joe. Why did she steal the ball from Tim? She couldn’t think of an immediate reason.

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?

What? Where did that thought come from? Monica knew it was a Bible verse, but didn’t know why it had popped into her mind. She didn’t want to think about her wicked heart. She knew it was wicked. All she had to do was hear the name Sarah, and she would flash back to images of wickedness she’d allowed that immediately filled her with remorse and brought tears to her eyes.

Monica pushed those feelings aside. There was a logical reason she’d stolen the ball. It would just take her a moment to think of it.

There is a way that seemeth right to man, but the end thereof is the way of death.

More verses? What was wrong with her brain? Couldn’t she get any of her own thoughts out? Right now she was still angry with Tim for bringing her here and making it look like it was her decision. She wanted to wallow in her misery for a while.

Monica knew she could leave at any time with no questions asked, but was afraid what Tim might do. He could decide to press charges about the theft. Even though Monica wasn’t entirely sure she even needed to be at the center, she decided to give the place three days. If nothing happened- no withdrawal symptoms at all, she would leave.

Monica rolled over on her side and tried to sleep. Snapshots of all that had happened over the past week, starting with her stealing Tim’s ball, flashed before her eyes. She squeezed her eyes tighter, trying to block the instant replay from her mind’s eye. The last image before she dozed off was that of Tim’s disappointed eyes looking at her, then leaving the detox center without another word.

********************

Later that morning Monica awoke with a dry mouth and a headache. She felt like she hadn’t slept all night. The sheet was wrapped so tightly around her that she could hardly move her arms. When she finally untangled herself and rose from the bed, she found she was extremely irritable and threw the sheet away from her in frustration.

She was also shaky. Her legs carried her to the bathroom, but just barely. When she had washed her face and run a brush through her hair, she went to her room to get dressed.

The only choices were the center-issued day clothes. She was not looking forward to being seen in them. They were little more than glorified scrubs. But since Tim hadn’t told her where they were going, there had been no time to pack. She was stuck.

The thought of Tim made her feel so angry. As she pulled on the clothing, she seethed. Not only had thoughts of him troubled her sleep, he was so self-righteous it made her sick. Who did he think he was? Jesus? Didn’t he used to be addicted to drugs? What made him so much better than her now?

If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Monica thought for a moment about the scripture that had yet again come unbidden to her thoughts. Being in Christ had made Tim new. That was what happened. Well, she was in Christ too, so why wasn’t she changing?

Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.

The words hit home. Monica had been conforming to the world. More than conforming, she had made it her home and been very comfortable there. She had spent so many years out of the will of God and living for self, allowing unspeakable things to go on under her roof, that she was surprised God had not killed her.

My mercy endures forever.

Monica sat back on her bed, ignoring the lumpy feel of the twisted sheet beneath her, and wondered if God could really mean it. His mercy endured forever? No matter what? A wave of nausea hit, and she raced to the bathroom. After she had emptied her stomach, she suddenly felt very tired. She slowly made her way on shaky legs back to bed and up onto her pillow. She gladly let herself fall into deep sleep.

**********************

Monica was holding a baby girl. The baby was a beautiful newborn. Perfect, with ten fingers and toes. She had dark hair and a perfect little round baby face. But the baby was changing. The baby kept growing in her arms until she was no longer a new born, but sitting up on her own across the room. She pointed a finger at Monica and said “Mama”.

Monica was very pleased that the baby was so smart. She walked over to place a kiss on the baby’s head and scoop her up onto her lap, but the baby pointed again and said “Bad Mama”.

Then the baby disappeared, and in her place were nurses and a doctor covered in blood. They were holding instruments used in abortions, and they were pointing to her and chanting “killer, killer, killer…”

That scene faded and another took its place. A different baby was on Monica’s lap. This baby she recognized as Sarah. Monica moved her head close and took a deep breath of her baby scent. She smelled so sweet, so full of promise.

This baby, too, grew quickly and became a toddler running from Monica. When Monica reached her arms out and called to Sarah to stop running, the child only looked back in fear and panic, running faster.

Then the child stopped abruptly, pointed a finger at Monica and shouted “It’s all your fault! All your fault!!”

Suddenly Monica was outside Sarah’s room listening to her daughter scream for help, pleading for her mother to stop what was about to happen. She plugged her ears and ran down the hall. She went down the stairs as fast as she could, to the front door.

Only there was no door. There were no windows either. She couldn’t get out. All she could do was hear Sarah’s screams louder and louder inside her head. She clawed at her ears, trying to make them stop.

She needed to get out of the house. She ran to the basement, hoping to escape through the storm doors, but as she tried to make the first step, she fell. She tumbled over and over again. She fell straight down for what seemed like miles, arms flailing, legs kicking, as though she was in water and could propel herself back to the surface.

Monica woke with a start. She leaned up on her elbows, and clutched the side of the bed with both hands, immediately becoming sick on the floor. What was happening to her? She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and lay back again on her pillow.

She needed a hit. That would calm her down and make these dreams go away. Cocaine was the only thing that had helped ease the pain of her poor life choices.

If only she hadn’t dropped the bag Boss had given her. She should have swallowed it. Then maybe she’d be dead by now instead of only wishing she was.

A nurse entered the room with a breakfast tray, saw the mess on the floor, and immediately turned around. Monica knew she must look horrible, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to try and sleep again, but seemed helpless to do anything else for the moment. She lay there on her pillow and waited to see what the nurse would do. She wasn’t sure she wanted her to come back, even if it meant the room would stink and be a mess.

As her eyelids started to droop, a doctor came in and gave her an injection. She tried to protest, but it was too late. Monica relaxed a bit, against her will, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Twenty Six

2008-03-28T00:29:00.000-07:00

The morning sky outside Sarah’s bedroom window was decent-looking, though there were a few clouds in the sky. Sarah made her bed, took her ice cream bowl to the sink, washed it, and filled it with cereal for breakfast. Then she walked into the living room, turned on the weather channel, and sat in the oversized chair. It had easily become her favorite place to relax.

Sarah had slept soundly after taking time to give her fears over to God, and having a bowl of Muddy Sneakers ice cream. She flexed her legs in front of her, then put down her bowl and did a full body

stretch.

The weather man was saying they were expecting some thunderstorms early in the afternoon, but things could clear up before bedtime.

Great. My first date with Tyler and it’s going to storm. Probably with my luck we’ll have a tornado and not be able to get together at all.

Sorry, Lord. I’m not complaining. Ok, I am. Help me to be thankful for the weather, and for the time I’ll get to spend getting to know Tyler better today. Don’t let the nasty weather affect my attitude.

Sarah turned the channel instead to cartoons to brighten her mood. She ate her cereal and laughed at the antics of the characters on the screen. When her cereal was gone, she turned off the TV and decided to get ready for the day.

She washed her bowl, showered and sat on her bed wondering what to wear. She only owned modest clothes, so she didn’t hesitate because of that, but she wasn’t sure what they would be doing. Should she wear a skirt, or casual pants?

She finally decided on her best pair of dark jeans paired with a white t-shirt and pink button up with three-quarter length sleeves. She also grabbed a light jacket and a small bag in which she placed a jean skirt and dressier shoes, just in case.

Then she looked in the mirror and tried to decide what to do with her hair. It was almost dry from her shower, and it hung down to her shoulders in a chestnut curtain. She dug in her top dresser drawer and pulled out a claw clip. She had seen the girls at school wear them and decided to try it out.

She struggled for a bit, with the clip shooting out of her hands and across the room several times before she got the hang of it. When she was satisfied, she had managed to pull it into a tight twist on the back of her head. She shook her head back and forth, testing the hold. It was perfect.

She sighed and wondered what she would do until it was time to leave. She placed her bag and jacket near the door so she wouldn’t forget them. Then she grabbed her Bible, took up her position in the overstuffed chair again, and spent an hour in God’s Word and prayer, dedicating the day and her feelings to Him.

She stretched again and went to pour herself a glass of orange juice, when a knock sounded at the door.

When Sarah opened the door, she found Mrs. Lepley standing outside. After inviting her in and asking her to sit, Sarah looked at her expectantly.

“Oh, I know this is your special day, but I was wondering if you’d do me a favor. By the way, your hair looks so nice like that. Anyway, I need to run out to the mall to get a gift for Mr. Lepley’s brother, and I didn’t want to go by myself. You know how men are.

“I asked Mr. Lepley what he wanted to get him, and he just looked at me and smiled, then said ‘Joyce I’m sure you’ll find the perfect thing’. So, I’m alone. And a woman never has as much fun shopping alone as she does when she brings a friend. Would you mind terribly coming with me? We won’t take long, I promise. I’ll have you back in plenty of time for Tyler to pick you up.”

Sarah was thankful for the distraction and accepted the invitation immediately. “Sure. That sounds great. I just finished getting ready, and was wondering what I could do to pass the time. This will be a great distraction.”

“Well then,” Said Mrs. Lepley, “let’s be off!” She rose from her perch on the couch and headed toward the door. Sarah put on her jacket, grabbed her keys and small wallet, and followed Mrs. Lepley out the door, locking up behind them.

“Thanks for doing this, Sarah. We’ll have a good time, I just know it.” Mrs. Lepley smiled as they situated themselves in the car and pulled out the driveway.

*******************

Tyler was anxious. Something about today didn’t feel right. He knew Sarah was a great girl, and needed lots of encouragement, especially in her new found faith, but something wasn’t sitting well with him.

Lord, what is it? Is this you trying to tell me to stay away from Sarah? I feel uneasy. Maybe it’s just nerves. I really like her a lot and want today to be special for her. I trust You to help me be a gentleman and show her a good time. Thanks Lord.

Tyler felt a little better after his talk with the Lord, but something still gnawed at him. Maybe he should check on the things his mom had prepared.

He left his room and walked down to the kitchen. Mom was in the middle of baking a cake. Tyler walked up behind her and stuck his finger deep into the bowl of batter, then licked his finger clean.

“Mmm. That’s fantastic, Mom. What else is on the menu for tonight?”

His mom smiled and put down the whisk. She placed her right hand on her hip and looked at Tyler. “Since it’s Saturday night, I thought we’d have homemade pizza like usual. Your Dad is planning to run out and get some chicken wings, and I’ll throw together a salad. That should be enough for dinner, don’t you think?” Tyler nodded.

His Mom continued. “Then we can do the things you have planned, and the cake of course.” She raised her eyebrows a bit and said “I hope Sarah isn’t uncomfortable being here with all of us. Your father said she’s shy and doesn’t like to be the center of attention. You may want to have a talk with your siblings before she gets here.” His mother cleared her throat in a knowing way, reminding Tyler his sisters asked a lot of questions.

Tyler laughed. “Sure, Mom. I’ll do that. But first, can I ask you something?”

His Mom knit her brows together at the seriousness of his tone. “Sure, Honey. You know you can talk to me about anything.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s troubling you?”

“Well, nothing much. I just have this really weird feeling, like something’s gonna happen tonight, or Sarah won’t be able to make it. I just feel like something isn’t right.” He shrugged and arched an eyebrow, looking expectantly at his Mom.

She smiled and nodded. “Hmm, maybe you’re just nervous. But it doesn’t hurt to pray about it. Why don’t we do that right now?” She took Tyler’s hands in hers and bowed her head. After a short, thoughtful pause she began.

“Lord, we are excited about Sarah coming to visit our home. I am thankful you allowed her to meet Tyler, and that she has been saved by your grace. I pray now Father that you would calm her nerves about meeting us, and that you would assure Tyler that all will be well. Please give us a wonderful night of fellowship and getting to know this young lady.

“ I believe you have brought her to us for a reason, and we want to do your will. Help the others to be on their best behavior tonight. We love you Jesus and we thank you that we can serve you by loving others. In the name of Jesus, amen.”

Tyler let go of his Mom’s hands and pulled her into a hug. “Thanks Mom. I feel a lot better now.” He stepped back and smiled. “I think I need to have a chat with the sisters.” Then he went out of the kitchen looking for the twins.

He found them in their room playing with their dolls. The door was open a crack, and Tyler took a moment to spy on them before announcing his presence. One of his sisters was changing a diaper, and the other had her hands on her hips scolding her baby.

“Oh yes, Katrina, you will eat these peas, even if it kills us both! Now stop spitting them out before you get yourself in big trouble.” Then she wiped at the front of her shirt where the baby had supposedly spit her peas, and picked up the plastic spoon and bowl from the tray of the high chair.

Tyler stifled a laugh and knocked gently on their door. The girls both turned their heads at the same time, and then smiled when they saw him. He entered the room and sat on the corner of the nearest bed. The girls put down their dolls and came over to him.

“Hi Ty! Wanna be the Daddy?” Jessica, the older by three minutes, asked him.

“Sorry gals. No can do right now. I’ve got lots of stuff to get ready before Sarah comes. You remember she’s coming over tonight, right?” He looked at each of them seriously before going on.

“Sarah is a very shy person. So I’m going to need you both to act like ladies and not talk too much or ask too many questions. Things like her family and stuff are not your business. She hasn’t had a happy life like we have, and if you ask her about it, you may make her sad. That would ruin our night, don’t you think?”

Both girls looked very grave and nodded their heads. Amy spoke up. “Oh Ty, we promise not to make your friend sad. We will be the very best girls you’ve ever seen! We won’t even talk with food in our mouths or anything. Right, Jess?” Jess nodded emphatically, looking very convincing.

Tyler stood and said in a mock serious voice “I knew I could count on you. I gotta run and make sure everything is all set for later. You guys be good.” They both hugged Tyler before he left the room, and he wandered back to the kitchen, feeling better about the evening. He planned to go through the house and make sure everything was spotless, then he would wash and wax his father’s car. It was only ten thirty. Four o’clock couldn’t come soon enough.

Chapter Twenty Five

2008-03-28T00:28:00.000-07:00

Monica sat slouched down in the passenger seat of Tim’s car. Since they left the bar, she’d grown frustrated. She was embarrassed to have been caught, and she was now uncomfortable in the clothes she was wearing. She tried in vain to cover herself with the small handbag she carried. All her attempts to apologize and try to explain her reasoning fell on deaf ears.

Tim drove on in stony silence. He didn’t look at her, didn’t talk. His jaw was clenched so tight that Monica thought for sure he’d be giving himself a headache soon. And no doubt blame her for that too. She thought maybe she should try and jump out at the next red light, but they were pulling onto the highway.

“Can you at least tell me where we’re going? This is not the direction home. I think I at least deserve to be told that.” Monica leveled a frustrated gaze at him.

Tim scoffed. “Really? You deserve to be told where we’re going? Just like you deserved the money you got from selling something that didn’t belong to you? I think you can be satisfied that I’m not taking you to jail where you belong.”

His rebuke stung. This was not the Tim she had come to know. There was no gentleness about him now. No grace. Maybe she deserved what he was saying. She probably should have gone to jail years ago.

Monica decided not to reply. She watched the lights from road signs they passed blur in her peripheral vision before disappearing out of her line of sight. They were heading into Cleveland. She was becoming uncomfortable.

“I know where we’re going. You’re taking me to rehab, aren’t you?” Monica said tersely.

“You have forced my hand in this Monica. I want to help you. Even after the stunt you pulled tonight, I believe God has a plan for your life. I am so frustrated right now that I could spit. God wants so much better for you, and you throw opportunities to change back in His face.” He tightened his hands on the steering wheel. “You need to get the drugs out of your system and your mind before you can begin to heal. Whether you believe me or not, this is the right thing for me to do.”

Monica didn’t know what to say. He was doing this because he cared? She thought it was to get back at her for taking advantage of his kindness. She wasn’t happy about not having a choice in the matter, but that would change once they got to their destination.

*****************

Though it was the middle of the night, lights burned brightly outside the rehab center. Inside, things were running like it was business as usual in the middle of the afternoon. People answered phones, nurses walked the hallways, and patients sat around chatting, trying to help each other keep their minds occupied.

Tim went straight to the counter without much looking around. He had obviously been here before. The greeting from the receptionist at the counter confirmed it.

“Hi, Tim. So, what have we got tonight? Another project I see.” The once-over Monica received made her even more uncomfortable. She felt like a cheap hooker, and knew she probably looked like one too. She ran a self-conscious hand through her hair, but stuck her chin out defiantly.

“Hi, Kelly. Yeah, she needs to be checked in immediately; full course of treatment. Detox for cocaine and I don’t know what else.”

The nurse smiled. “Sure, Tim. We’ll sort it all out. And how will you be paying?”

Tim looked over at Monica. “Cash.”

Monica realized he intended to use the money she got from the stolen ball to cover her treatment. She felt worse now. It was a moment before she realized they were both looking at her and waiting for the money.

The receptionist finally spoke. “We only need a down payment now, which is three thousand. You can pay the rest upon completion of the program. If you choose to leave early, which is your right, you will be refunded the difference, minus a service fee.”

Monica reached into her bag to count out the proper amount of cash. When she pulled out the money, the bag of coke Boss had shoved to her with it when he paid her for the ball fell out onto the floor. When Tim caught sight of it, Monica thought he was going to lose it and just kill her right there to get it over with.

Instead, he wiped a tired hand down his face, turned to the nurse and said, “Looks like she decided to check herself in none too soon. I have to go. Take good care of her. You know how to reach me. Have a good night Kelly.”

And with that he turned and walked out the door, leaving Monica alone in front of the desk, speechless. He hadn’t looked at her, hadn’t said goodbye or anything. She stooped to pick up the bag of coke, placed it on the counter, and cleared her throat.

“Well, here’s the first payment. Where do I sign?”

************************

After filling out countless forms and medical questionnaires, Monica was taken to a single room. It was small. She had a single bed, a small side table with one drawer, and a small dresser. There was a tiny, private bathroom attached to the room by the wall opposite the bed. The “suite” was sparsely furnished like a dorm room, and decorated like a hospital ward. Not a great place to spend large amounts of time.

After sitting on the bed to test it, and finding it harder than she liked, Monica removed her shoes and briefly rubbed her feet. She flexed her toes a bit as well, having forgotten how uncomfortable spiked heels were.

She walked into the bathroom and gasped at her appearance. She looked like a hooker. Mascara was smudged below each eye, her hair was a teased mess, and her lipstick was worn down to just the outside edges of her lips. Not to mention the fact that her breasts were only barely covered by her top. She looked down her body and saw herself in a new light. Her skirt was too short as well, covering only half the length of her thighs.

Monica wanted to take a shower in the worst way. She wanted to wash her feelings, and the whole experience from this night down the drain, never to be brought up again.

But she knew that wouldn’t happen. She’d have to talk about why she was here. It was part of the recovery process. These first few days would be torture. She’d have to work through getting her body and mind completely cleared of all thoughts of cocaine. Throw in some awkward therapy sessions with strangers, and she could pretty much guarantee hating Tim by the end of the week.

Monica walked back into her room and looked in the dresser. There were two sets of pajamas that looked more like hospital gowns, and three sets of rehab-issued day clothes. The nurse had promised to be back in a little while to collect Monica’s personal things.

Monica left everything in a neat pile on her bed, and went to take her shower. She hoped she looked cleaner on the outside when she was finished than she felt on the inside.

*****************

Tim drove back toward home. He was angry and confused, but not surprised.

“Lord, I don’t know why I thought she would make better progress. I am so angry and frustrated right now. I know I should be more compassionate, but I don’t feel like it. I know what it’s like to be at the lowest place you’ve ever been, and I think that’s where Monica is now. God, I pray you would break her while she’s there. Let her see what she’s let herself become. Whatever is holding her back, keeping her stuck on coke, reveal it to her and help her get past it. I’m sorry if I handled it badly, but I am so tired of seeing Satan rule people’s lives.”

Tim drove on, chatting with the Lord. He slowly felt peace come over him, and he knew he had done the right thing. Rehab was a place where the past confronted you and no one let you make excuses for your behavior. As soon as Monica was through with detox, he’d send her to his friend in Tennessee and help her with the spiritual aspect of it all.

Maybe when all this was finally over she would thank him. Not that he expected it, or even wanted that; his ministry was for God’s glory, not his own. But maybe Monica would get to a place where thankfulness would spill over, and she’d let him know she was better.

He believed God could do it. God could do anything. And from what he’d encountered in this situation already, it would take an act of God for her to change.

Chapter Twenty Four

2008-03-28T00:26:00.000-07:00

The week flew by for Sarah. She was busy at the Library working daily after school, and planning to get ready for the move to Tennessee in a few short months. Time seemed to be running out for everything. In just a couple weeks it would be exam time, and then graduation practice.

She was still amazed at the wonderful place in which she now lived. The Lepleys were so generous. Her apartment was completely separate from their house, so if they wanted to visit, they had to knock on the door in the back. Sarah was more than satisfied. She had dinner with them on Tuesday night after work, and turned down invitations for the other evenings. She didn’t want to make a nuisance of herself.

Last Monday Mrs. Lepley had taken her to the grocery store, and Sarah bought her first load of groceries ever. It was exciting to come home and be able to fill the pantry shelves with the little she had purchased. She would definitely need some help in the kitchen, since her only experience had been making mac and cheese and chicken nuggets when she was a child. Since then she hadn’t cooked at all.

It was Friday night, and she sat on one of the couches in her living room, watching HGTV. There were so many shows she had never seen, and she could waste many hours if she wasn’t careful. Sarah loved being able to stretch out on the couch, or the floor, or her bed, or snuggle in one of the comfy chairs. Just the fact that she had a place to call her own that wasn’t dark and hidden like a cave was such a blessing.

The rumbling of Sarah’s stomach signaled it was time for dinner. She extracted herself from the couch, turned the TV off and headed to the kitchen. Though she didn’t cook many things, she did know how to open a jar of spaghetti sauce and follow the directions on the pack of spaghetti to boil the noodles. And since she decided to add more fruits and veggies to her diet she would make a small salad as well.

While waiting for the pasta to boil, Sara leaned against the counter and looked around. She silently thanked God once again for this place, the people he had brought into her life, and the hope she now had that even things with her Mother may one day turn out alright. As she gathered the salad things, her thoughts drifted to Tyler. What was his family like? What things did his Mom make for dinner? Were they loud at the table, each trying to talk at once to share their day? Or was dinner a quiet affair where everyone ate in silence?

Tyler. Her date with him was tomorrow. Tomorrow! She set the salad things on the counter quickly, and put her hands to her cheeks. What should she wear? What would they be doing? Why had she said yes?

Sarah had never been on a date before. As if sensing her inner turmoil, the pasta water boiled over and hissed against the burner. Sarah jumped, surprised by the sound, and quickly turned down the heat. As she mopped up the bit of water on the stove top, she came to a decision. She would ask for help.

*********************

The cool evening air felt good on Sarah’s flushed cheeks as she walked the short distance to the front of the house. The Lepleys were home, she knew, because they had invited her to dinner yet again. Her own dinner tasted fine, though the pasta had been a bit chewy. It had not been enjoyable because her thoughts had jumped from the time she had spent with Tyler at the college, to snippets of their conversation on the plane, to what the “date” might entail the next day.

After hurrying through her small amount of dishes, she now found herself pausing just to the left of the Lepley’s front door. Should she ring the bell? She felt silly. What would she say? Yes, Mrs. Lepley was a sweet woman, but she’d been married for at least thirty years. What advice could she possibly give? And yet Sarah found herself here on their front porch, wanting to ask questions.

Sarah leaned back against the siding, and quickly leaned forward again at the sound of the bell. She had accidentally pushed it with her back. Well, no reconsidering now. Mrs. Lepley was already in the entry way waving at her and smiling.

***********************

The smell of roast beef hit Sarah’s nose as she was ushered inside. Mrs. Lepley gave her a quick hug and led her into the dining room.

“Did you change your mind about dinner dear?” She asked with a smile. “We haven't started yet, and you know you’re always welcome. Mr. Lepley and I are happy to have you.”

Sarah hadn’t thought they might not be finished with their own dinner. She had thoughtlessly rushed through hers.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you hadn’t started. I have already eaten. I’ll just come back another time. I’m sorry I interrupted your evening. Have a pleasant night.” She started to leave the room to let herself out.

“Now you just wait right there, young lady.” Mr. Lepley said. “You sit yourself down and keep an old couple company. I haven’t heard anything about your trip, or how you like living here, so I’m gonna need you to fill me in. Mrs. Lepley, though she likes to talk, doesn’t always give an old man the details he wants to hear. I like to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.”

He had stood from his chair as he spoke, and pulled a seat out for Sarah. She sat, reluctantly, and tried to smile. She didn’t like being the center of attention, but she would do as he asked. They had done so much for her, she couldn’t refuse.

After the blessing, Mr. Lepley turned his eyes to Sarah and told her, “Begin anywhere you like. Tell me how the college was, how your flight was, if anything interesting happened. Heard you even took in a church service while you were there.” He winked and she knew he meant he wanted to know about Tyler.

************************

Sarah was full from a large slice of blueberry pie, and from the advice she had received from the Lepleys. They were so gracious. They hadn’t thought her at all foolish. Mr. Lepley had excused himself to the kitchen, and she and Mrs. Lepley had spoken in private.

She knew how to behave now, how to dress. It was of the utmost importance that she act like a lady. She had no problems keeping herself modest. She was to be herself, and behave in a way that honored the Lord. After finishing her pie, and praying with Mrs. Lepley, Sarah had returned to the solitude of her apartment.

She picked up her Bible from her dresser and flopped down onto her bed. She lay for a few moments with her eyes closed, thinking. She sat up again, and realized she hadn’t called Tyler yet. She jumped off the bed and retrieved her phone from her purse. Dialing carefully, she punched in the numbers scrawled on the paper in her hand.

It only took one ring before he answered. “Hello, this is Tyler can I help you?”

Suddenly Sarah’s throat was dry and she couldn’t remember what she wanted to say. She cleared her throat and forced out a greeting. “Hi Tyler. This is Sarah. I have been busy, and I forgot to call. Sorry.”

“Sarah! Wow, I was wondering if you changed your mind about tomorrow.” His voice sounded relived to hear from her, and that boosted Sarah’s confidence.

“No, actually. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.” Her cheeks flamed, although there was no one around to notice.

“Well,” Tyler began, “I was hoping so. I’ll pick you up at four o’clock, ok? Where should I meet you?”

“Oh, well, you can come to my place to get me.” Sarah told him her address and then asked a few questions to get an idea of what they would be doing, so she would know how to dress. “Remember, come to the door around the back of the house. Knock loud.” Sarah laughed nervously as Tyler promised he wouldn’t forget. They hung up, and Sarah stared at the phone for a few minutes.

Even thinking about spending the afternoon with Tyler made her nervous. She decided a long, hot shower was what she needed to calm her nerves. That, and a bowl of ice cream.

Chapter Twenty Three

2008-03-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

As Monica drove down 71 North, the purse on the passenger seat next to her seemed to be staring at her. She picked it up and threw it on the floor in the back seat. Monica glanced at herself in the flip-down mirror of her sun visor.

Same old Monica, a voice in her head commented. When are you going to learn? You won’t get away with doing wrong. You made a commitment to God, remember?

“Oh shut up.” Monica said aloud and flipped the mirror back up. “I know what I’m doing. I just have to be quick is all. No talking to anyone, no looking around, no lingering. Just in and out. I can do this. Besides, it’s not like I can just drive to Tim’s house and tell him what I did.”

Why not? The voice in her head asked again.

“Don’t start with me, Conscience. I’m not really in the mood. It’ll all work out, you’ll see.”

She pulled up her black tube top and let out a deep breath. Usually when she went downtown she didn’t plan on coming home until the next afternoon. Or later. Well, tonight would be different. She just needed this money and then she’d work on living right. Surely God could understand that.

Twenty minutes later she pulled up outside the familiar bar. She’d have to go inside and find Boss. She put her car in park and took several deep breaths before she decided to make her way to the dimly lit entrance.

The beat of the music spilled out the door into the street, as did the sounds of laughter and clinking glass. Several men whistled and called out to her as she passed.

“Later guys.” She called over her shoulder. “First I need to take care of some business.” She winked at them and waved, then headed inside.

You really like the way they look at you? The way their eyes are hoping to get a glimpse of something more than a smile?

She shrugged off the remark her conscience made and walked through the noisy crowd to the room farthest back in the bar. Familiar faces lingered somewhere behind the haze of smoke. The smells of alcohol and tobacco laced with who knew what met Monica head on.

Scantily clad women, not unlike Monica herself, were draped across various men on the beat up furnishings. Monica averted her gaze and stepped through another doorway covered in long strands of beads, finding the man she was looking for.

Boss was sitting at a counter with a band around his arm and a needle in his hand, getting ready to shoot up. Two other guys were talking and playing cards at a nearby table. A woman in a bustier, fishnets and a micro mini was bringing them drinks from a private bar. Monica approached him from the side and waited until he looked her way before speaking.

“Hey Doll. I was just thinkin’ about you, wondering where you been the past coupla days. I heard rumors that you got religion.” He gave her an appreciating glance, taking in her minimal clothing. “But I can see they was mistaken.” He laughed.

Monica pulled at the short length of her mini skirt and crossed her arms casually. “So, I got somethin’ for ya. I know how much you like baseball, and I need the money. I know how much it’s worth, so don’t try to con me. Just pay up and I’ll be on my way. I got things to do.” Monica hoped she sounded convincing.

“Baseball, huh?” At this Boss put the needle down and looked expectantly at her. It was the one thing he loved more than getting high. “So, let me see.” He demanded.

Monica rummaged in her purse and pulled out the baseball. Boss’ eyes widened when he saw the inscription, ‘Ty Cobb July 16, 1949’. He recovered quickly, and loosened the band on his arm, but Monica knew he was pleased with the ball. She’d get at least the six hundred dollars she wanted.

“Well, how do I know this is an original?” Boss looked over the ball, examining it carefully.

“Do I look like the kind of person who would willingly cross you? You know me better than that, right? I just know what you like, know what I need, and thought we could make a deal. If you’re not interested…” Monica plucked the ball from his hand and started to leave.

“No, wait. I was just checking. I don’t want no bogus materials cluttering up my display. You know how it is. So, where’d you get it?” He reached again for the ball, then walked around the counter. He stooped down, obviously opening the safe. He placed the ball inside, then stood with a couple stacks of bills in his hands.

Monica tried not to look at the pile of money while she answered. “I prefer not to reveal my sources. You know, can’t have everyone getting in on my stuff. A girl has to keep some things secret. What’s my pay?”

Boss laughed and handed her the money. “I’ll give you eight thousand for it and no more. I need this ball, but seeing as how you’re desperate I won’t pay market value. Like I ever do.” He laughed at his comment before continuing. “And I’ll throw in a little somethin’ extra.” He handed her a bag of coke. “Thanks Doll. You can get back to your “business” now while I get back to mine.” He re-tied his arm, then picked up the needle.

Monica breathed a sigh of relief as she stuffed the money in her purse. She left the room before Boss could prick his skin with the needle. She shuddered and tried to make her way back to the exit, but was grabbed at the waist from behind by a pair of strong hands.

“I knew you wouldn’t last. It’s not so easy as all that to walk away now is it?” She immediately recognized the warm, intoxicated breath on her neck. Joe was here living it up just like he did every weekend. “Welcome back, Pet. What can I do for you?”

Joe moved his hands over her body, and kissed her neck. Monica did her best to keep her cool, though she wanted to punch him in the face. She wriggled from his embrace and faced him. “Sorry Joe, I don’t have time. I just stopped in to see Boss for a minute. I had some unfinished business. Oh, and here.” She dug in her purse and pulled the money she owed him from the pile. “Here’s what I owe you. I believe we’re now even.”

Joe looked at the money, then shouted “A round for everyone on me!” Then he disappeared into the crowd and noise.

Monica took the opportunity to work her way back to the entrance and step out into the cool of the evening. She blew kisses at the men standing by the door, then walked to her car. She stopped in the middle of the street, caught by Tim’s hard gaze.

****************************

“What are you doing here?” Monica demanded. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. She was still mad at him for his comment earlier in the afternoon.

Tim walked around to her driver’s side door and leaned against it, preventing her entrance. “I should ask you the same thing.” His jaw was tense, and he looked furious. “What do you think you’re doing here? Is this what you had to ‘think about’ so you couldn’t come to church tonight?”

Monica was extremely uncomfortable with his being there, and felt almost naked with her lack of clothing. She tried to cover her body by hugging herself, but knew it wouldn’t do any good. She didn’t know what to say, so she lashed out in anger.

She put her hands on her hips before striking out. “Were you following me? What, did you do a stakeout on the street, waiting for me to leave so you could see where I was going? A lot of trust you put in the people you try to help. How do you have the time to follow everyone, don’t you have a job?”

“That’s not what happened. I stopped by to see if you had eaten, and if you were feeling alright. And, I came to confront you about the baseball you stole from my house. Before I could cut the engine and get out of my car, you were backing out of the driveway. So I followed you. I thought if you were going out to eat we could talk. Guess I was way off. So, where is it?” His face was stone cold, and he expected an answer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Monica lied. “You’re the one who wanted to go to your place after lunch, not me. All I did was look, then sat on the couch. Maybe you lost the baseball.”

Tim laughed. “Right. ‘Cause I usually take it to practice with me when I’m coaching the T-ball team.” He narrowed his eyes. “That ball belonged to my grandfather. It was signed by Ty Cobb on my Grandad’s birthday. Do you have any idea how much it means to me? What did you do with it?”

Monica winced. Of course the ball would have sentimental value to someone like Tim. He didn’t have it just because it was worth money. His family had cared about him. His father had kept those things for him. They were all Tim had left, since his parents were both dead.

Monica was finally overcome by guilt. She lowered her eyes to the ground before replying. “I sold it. I needed the money. I didn’t know it was worth so much, or that it meant so much to you.” She dug the rest of the money out of her purse and thrust it toward him. “Here, take it.”

Tim looked wide eyed at the money, then Monica. “You think I want that money? I want the ball. Did you sell it to someone in there?” he said, gesturing with disgust to the bar. “You have to get it back. Now.” He grabbed her by the arm, meaning to force her back across the street.

Monica was surprised at his reaction and fought against it. “That’s impossible! I sold it and got eight thousand dollars for it. Eight thousand dollars. You can’t go in there demanding it back. He’ll kill you. The guy I sold it to was just shooting up. He won’t be in his right mind.” Monica’s look was pleading. She didn’t want to be made a fool, and surprisingly, didn’t want Tim hurt either.

Tim looked her over, as if to verify the truth of her statement. He dropped her arm, walked to his car, and opened the door. He nodded to the passenger side. “Get in.”

Chapter Twenty Two

2008-03-28T00:23:00.001-07:00

Tyler and Sarah exited the plane, then stood awkwardly next to the row of people walking up the gang plank, watching for Tyler’s dad. When he appeared, he was smiling. They all walked down to the lobby near the baggage return. Mr. Williams motioned for them to come closer.

“Come. Let’s have prayer before we part ways, alright?” He offered a prayer of thanksgiving for the friendship God had formed between them, safety of their travel, then asked a special blessing for Sarah on her birthday.

“You sure you have a ride? We’ll be happy to take you home.” Tyler said when the prayer was finished.

“It’s fine. Mrs. Lepley should be here any minute.” Sarah quickly scanned the lobby. “There she is.” She said and pointed. She turned back to Tyler and asked “What time on Saturday?”

“Four o’clock sharp, ok? I’ll see you then. Hey, let me give you my number.” He scrawled it on the back of the card his dad had given her. “We can work out details later, alright? Can you give me your number?” Sarah stalled and assured him she would call the first chance she got the next evening. No need for him to know she didn’t have a phone.

“Ok. Don’t forget.” Tyler squeezed her shoulder with his hand, and walked away just as Mrs. Lepley caught sight of Sarah.

*****************************************

Sarah recounted the events of the weekend, and Mrs. Lepley said things like ‘Praise the Lord!’ and ‘Well, I’ll be’ and ‘Isn’t that just like the Lord.’

Sarah just smiled. After she shared her experience with Christ, Mrs. Lepley cried so hard she couldn’t speak. She didn’t say anything for a full ten minutes. She just grabbed Sarah’s hand and squeezed every once in a while as she shook her head. “Wonderful, just wonderful!” she finally managed to say.

After getting control of herself she said, “Now, someone’s birthday is today if I’m not mistaken, so we must go and celebrate. Are you hungry?” Mrs. Lepley’s eyes implored, not taking no for an answer.

The snacks from the plane had long since worn off, and Sarah was ready for dinner. “Yes, I’m starved.” She replied.

“Well, I want you to pick your favorite place to eat, but not Mexican. I had that for lunch and to tell you the truth, Mr. Lepley had enough beans for the both of us!”

Sarah laughed and looked over at her friend. Her heart swelled with thanksgiving and love. Mrs. Lepley had been so wonderfully kind to her. Sarah’s eyes brimmed with tears, but she did not cry. She just shared a quiet moment with the Lord, enjoying her new-found relationship with Him as they traveled down highway 71 South.

********************

Sarah wanted pasta for dinner, as she planned on a nice long run before bed. She chose Olive Garden. She had never been to this restaurant before, but heard the food was nice. Mrs. Lepley seemed relieved not to be going somewhere that would further threaten her already precarious digestive situation.

They were seated at a corner table for two in the non-smoking section. After deferring wine and instead ordering soft drinks, they settled into the padded seats and looked over the menu.

Sarah didn’t know what to get. Her eyes got big as she noticed the prices. She had never paid over five dollars for a meal she purchased herself. The prices here were almost double that.

Mrs. Lepley must have noticed her discomfort, for she said “Don’t you worry, Dear. This is your birthday. Your eighteenth birthday. You get anything and everything you want. I mean it. No skimping tonight. I have strict orders from Mr. Lepley not to come home without stuffing you to the gills. Do you like toasted ravioli? Want to share that as an appetizer?”

Sarah just nodded. She had never had that before, but didn’t want to say no. She still couldn’t believe that people wanted to spend money on her. Did this happen to other people so often?

She looked over the menu a few moments longer, then decided on the garlic chicken and broccoli pasta, though she couldn’t begin to pronounce the Italian name it was given.

After their orders had been taken, the waiter came back with a large bowl of salad and a basket of bread sticks.

“Let me say a birthday blessing for you while I bless the food, alright?” Mrs. Lepley asked. Sarah nodded again.

“Lord, we come before you tonight as your children. Thank you for giving Sarah new life through your Son Christ, that’s an answer to my prayers. Thank you for showing her the truth, and letting her know you love her. She is special to me, God.

“I pray Father that you would guide her steps. Help her to be a bold witness of your truth so that many may come to know you because of her testimony. I pray for her to be a virtuous woman that would seek you with her whole heart.

“I pray for her new friend Tyler, that they could support and help each other while they’re so far away from home and family. Help them be strong. Bring them other friends that know and love you.

“I pray this would be a wonderful birthday for Sarah. Please bless our meal and our conversation, that you would be glorified. Thank You for Your love and grace. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Sarah’s tears were falling softly down her cheeks, but she was smiling. God was so good to her. How had she gone so long not knowing? Mrs. Lepley’s prayer of blessing was just another way He whispered his love for her.

Sarah wiped her eyes as she laughed. “I have cried and laughed so much today that if someone had watched me from afar they would probably think I’ve lost my mind.”

Mrs. Lepley took a sip of her Coke before answering. “Yes, and you will continue to do so. The love of the Lord will just overwhelm you sometimes and you’ll find yourself crying for no apparent reason, other than you feel so loved and happy. Salad?”

Mrs. Lepley dished out salad and bread sticks. The meal was one of the best Sarah had eaten. She felt that way about most of the food she’d eaten this weekend. She had even forced down a thick slice of velvety cheesecake which arrived with a candle and the staff singing happy birthday.

Mrs. Lepley received a phone call shortly before they were ready to go. She said yes into the phone a lot and uh-huh, ok sounds good. Sarah had no idea who she was talking to, and did not make it her business to find out.

As they walked to the parking lot, Sarah stretched, trying to encourage her food to move it’s way down and give her organs some breathing room. She had eaten way too much.

Once in the car Mrs. Lepley pulled a little gift bag from the back seat and handed it to Sarah. “Just a little something from Mr. Lepley and me so we can keep in touch.”

Sarah was truly surprised. What more could they possibly give her? She reached down into the bag and pulled out a new cell phone. She gasped. How could they afford such an expensive gift?

“I cannot accept this. It is too much. Do you know how much cell phones cost?” Sarah said in disbelief.

“Yes, dear. I bought that one. I do know how much they cost, and I also know that a young woman whom I care a great deal about will not be leaving the state without a way to contact her ‘Grandma’ should she need something.

“I meant what I said tonight Sarah. You are special to me. I’ve known you since you were in elementary school and used to hide out in the library ‘til closing time. I’ve watched you grow and blossom. I think of you as one of my own.”

Her voice became stern. “And I will not have you leaving me without a way for me to get in touch with you. So, you will keep this phone and you will call me at least once a week and let me know how you are. Alright?” She patted Sarah’s knee. “Now let’s get you home.”

Sarah smiled to herself and thanked the Lord again for His goodness.

**********************

The trip had caught up with her, and Sarah was just waking when the engine stopped. She looked around, confused. They weren't at the library. They were in a residential neighborhood, one Sarah had never seen before.

“Well Sweetie, here we are. I’ll help you with your bag. Don’t worry, you’ll be settled into bed soon enough.” Mrs. Lepley walked around to the trunk and pulled out Sarah’s carry on, then disappeared behind the garage.

Sarah stretched, then left the car and hurried to catch up. She walked around the back of the house and found Mrs. Lepley standing outside a door on the back of the house. Mrs. Lepley fumbled in her purse and finally located her keys. It was a quiet, star-filled night. Mrs. Lepley giggled and broke the silence.

“You know now that you’re eighteen you really need a place of your own that you can be an adult in. No more of this hiding out and living in a storage closet." She handed the keys to Sarah. "Maybe you’d like to give me a tour of your new place?”

Sarah didn't know what to say. What was Mrs. Lepley talking about? Sarah had never been here before, let alone called it home. She opened her mouth to protest, but Mrs. Lepley urged her on. "Go ahead, open the door already."

Sarah turned the key in the lock and walked in. She found herself in an obviously renovated apartment. The colors were fresh, but neutral enough to accommodate any color scheme. Directly in front of her was a living area with two comfy couches, an entertainment center housing a TV and VCR, a lamp in the corner, and a desk with a filing cabinet.

To her left was an arched entryway leading to a dining room and full kitchen. Sarah could hardly believe it. What a wonderful little home! But where would she sleep? Did the couch fold out into a bed? She walked back through to the living area, and noticed a door she missed the first time. She opened it entered a moderately sized bedroom. Beyond that was an en-suite bathroom. A door on the other side of the bathroom led her back into the dining room. The setup was perfect.

Mrs. Lepley still stood in the doorway, watching Sarah's face. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Mr. Lepley's Mama used to live here with us before she passed on. We had always talked about cleaning it out and renting it to one of the young people from church, but never got around to it. A few months ago I had the idea that you would need a place to stay when you came home on holidays, and I thought what better place than my home?

"I don't want you to pay rent. Not until you've graduated college and have a job that earns enough. Think of this as God's way of making sure you are cared for and get a fair shot at being a success. We are more than happy to have you. Please make an old woman happy and say you'll stay."

Sarah had never known people could care for others this way. All weekend God had shown her time and again how He was caring for her through His people. She was crying again, though she had sternly told herself not to. Love was new to her. It made her heart swell and tears fall.

She grabbed Mrs. Lepley in a fierce embrace. She had many questions, including when she would collect her things from the Library. Right now she shook off her coat, hung it up on one of the hooks next to the door and invited Mrs. Lepley inside.

“Won’t you come in? Please take off your coat and sit down.” Sarah then narrowed her eyes. “You’ve got some ‘splainin' to do Lucy.” She said in her best Desi impression.

Mrs. Lepley laughed and shook out of her coat as well. “I guess you have the right to ask away. Though I may not reveal my sources for everything. Let’s just say there were a lot of people at church willing to donate to our little project. A few helped move your things from the Library this afternoon. You should come to church sometime and meet them.”

Sarah wanted that. She wanted somewhere she could go to church and find people like this, especially if they were anything like the Lepleys. Or the Williamses. Her thoughts drifted to Tyler. She would visit his church first.

“Sorry, I’m already booked this Sunday.” she said.

Mrs. Lepley smiled knowingly. “Let me guess, Tyler?”

Chapter Twenty-One

2008-03-28T00:22:00.001-07:00

They pulled into the gas station, and Tim climbed out to pump the gas. Monica tried not to act annoyed, but couldn’t wait to get away from him. She looked around the car, wondering what Tim did for work that afforded him a car like this.

He peeked his head in the window and told her he was going to grab some snacks and a couple cold drinks while the tank was filling.

“Do you want or need anything?” he asked.

“No. I’m fine.” Monica answered somewhat curtly. She turned her face back to the window.

Tim left, and Monica looked around the car. It was neat as a pin. She couldn’t resist nosing around his stuff, and opened the glove box. There were a couple CDs, the registration and insurance papers, and a travel pack of tissues.

How boring. Tim was an extremely organized person. A place for everything and everything in its place. Her own car was littered with so much garbage. She couldn’t remember the last time she had cleaned it. Just one more thing he did right and she did wrong.

Tim came back to the car then. As they were pulling out of the lot, his cell phone rang. “Hey Mark. Is everything still on for this afternoon?” he paused, listening to the caller. “Oh, really?” His eyes narrowed in concern. “Hmm, that kind of puts me in a bad spot.” He glanced at Monica. “You know what, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out.” He paused again, listening. “Yeah, sure. I can do that, no problem. Take care buddy.”

Tim hung up his phone and looked at Monica again. “My friend needs a favor. I know it looks inappropriate, and I don’t normally do this, but it’s an emergency. Do you mind if we go to my place so I can change and grab some stuff I need for a friend? It won’t take more than ten minutes, I promise. I could take you home first, but then I’d be backtracking. Going to my place first will save me at least half an hour. Are you comfortable with that?” He looked at her with concern.

“Sure, I guess.” Monica tried to sound casual, but was inwardly annoyed. Why should she do him any favors? A curiosity filled her and she wanted to see if his house was as neat as his car. “That’s fine.” She managed to reply, then turned to the window and allowed herself a smile.

**********************

They pulled up to Tim's house a short while later. It was a small, square one story white house with black shutters. The garage was detached and sat twenty feet or so from the house.

"Come on in while I change. No need for you to sit out here alone. I promise I won't bite." Tim said laughing.

I doubt that. Monica thought to herself. But she followed Tim. She had to admit she was curious as to what this tiny house looked like on the inside.

They entered by what Monica assumed must be the den. It was larger than she expected, and looked to be an add-on from a previous generation. Tim ran up the two small steps leading to the galley kitchen. "Have a seat, I’ll be right back." He called over his shoulder.

Monica took the opportunity to look around. His house was meticulously clean. A far cry from how her house usually looked. There was a display case near the bay window that housed a baseball collection. Some were new, others looked very old. They were probably collector's items, worth a lot of money. Money? Hmm...

Glancing into the kitchen to make sure Tim was still out of sight, Monica selected a ball near the back and slipped it into her purse. She would take it as Tim's way of helping her let go of the past by paying her debt to Joe. Surely he wouldn't miss one baseball, especially one so hidden in the back.

Monica moved to the opposite side of the room. No use in lingering around the case and causing suspicion. She settled onto the reclining end of a soft brown couch. She leaned her head back and ignored the voice pleading with her to replace the ball before Tim returned.

He startled her by bounding down the steps carrying a small duffel bag. "Ready?" he asked, turning around to find her.

"Yep." Monica stood and threw her purse over her shoulder. She looked Tim over as if checking him out for the first time. He had muscular legs, and she could see the outline of his trim body beneath his t-shirt. She smiled a fake smile. He was unknowingly helping two friends with this short detour. "Ready when you are." She said.

**********************

It took a while to convince Tim that everything was alright, but he finally left Monica to herself. She had also informed him she wouldn’t be attending the service that evening. She had a lot to think about and needed some time alone. Tim seemed to think she had taken his earlier words to heart, and said something encouraging that Monica ignored. She walked into the house, relieved to find everything was indeed fine.

After changing into comfortable clothes, she couldn’t help but notice the mess in her room. The downstairs looked good, clean. Her room, however was a complete disaster. She decided to use her newfound frustration with Tim as energy to tackle the grime in her attached bath.

When that was finished and in order, she picked up load after load of clothing in her arms and crammed them down the laundry chute in the hallway. Much of her time this evening would be spent in the basement, it seemed.

Monica walked to the hallway closet and brought out the vacuum. Now that she could see the floor of her room, she wanted it clean. It was littered with crumbs, pieces of paper, lint and string. Not to mention food wrappers and tissues. She started in her room and worked her way down the hall. She vacuumed the other upstairs bedroom Brad had turned into an office long ago. She stopped when she came to Sarah’s room.

Monica hadn’t been in this room much since Sarah had left. She’d slept in the bed a few times when her own was too filthy, but she hadn’t even opened the door in months.

Deciding she needed to deal with her feelings, Monica went inside. The room smelled musty, so Monica moved to the window to let in some fresh air.

She looked around, surprised at how few things decorated the room. No books or toys to clutter the floor and built in shelves. No TV or other things you’d expect to see in a pre-teen’s room. Not even any posters decorated the walls. Just a bed, a small table with a lamp, and a dresser near the window.

For the first time Monica thought how sad Sarah’s life must have been. How lonely and miserable. An overwhelming sense of regret swept over Monica, and she sat on the bed and wept. Her tears turned to anger. Anger at what her life could have been like, of the relationship she could’ve had with Sarah. The mother she should have been. But she’d given all that up for a temporary high. An alternate reality. She was disgusted with herself.

Monica walked to the dresser and jerked the drawers out. She dumped the clothes in a pile, threw the others from the closet onto it, then stripped the bed. A small notebook landed on the floor. Monica threw the bed covers onto the pile of clothes, then stooped to read the cover of the little book.

Sarah’s Diary

The words were written in a neat, girly script. Monica’s hands shook. Dare she open it and face her daughter’s thoughts? Monica didn’t know if she could handle it. She stared at it for a long while, wondering what kind of child Sarah had really been.

After a few minutes, she took the notebook to her own now-clean room and placed it on her nightstand. She backed away from it, as though she didn’t trust it not to follow her.

Monica went quickly down to the kitchen and brought two large garbage bags up to Sarah’s room. She stuffed all the clothes and bedding into them. Then she marched to the garage and threw them into the garbage bins. She was breathing heavily, overcome with memories of the past. She hoped ridding the house of the items would help erase the pain.

Monica ran back up to her room, threw herself on the bed, and burst into tears for the second time that day.

*********************

The room was shrouded in shadow when Monica finally opened her eyes. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have cried herself out. Her mind quickly replayed the events of the afternoon for her. She glanced at her bedside table. There lay the diary.

She ignored it and went to the kitchen to get some food. All the while she prepared her sandwich, her thoughts drifted to what she might find written in that little book. Maybe she should just throw it out with the rest of the garbage. Maybe she should burn it. She definitely should not read it. She couldn’t bring herself to even crack open the cover. She wouldn’t.

The kitchen table felt lonely, so Monica sat in the living room. She turned on the TV for noise, and found the stupid show where people send in videos of their ‘amazing’ pets. She changed the channel. She couldn’t take any more remarks from an obnoxious man today.

She settled for the weather channel and watched as people recorded tornadoes. Those people should have been safely tucked away in their homes, but they were drawn in by the storm, wanting to catch it on film. The wind whipped around them, the funnel cloud came ever closer; still they didn’t move. Not until the last possible second for escape came did they turn tail.

Monica took her dish to the sink and thought about the book upstairs. She would be facing the violent storm of her past, seeing it through Sarah’s eyes. Finding that diary was like spotting a funnel cloud.

Instead of getting rid of it like she should have, she held on for dear life, wondering when it would be too late to let go. What would happen if she read it? Should she put herself through that? What good could possibly come from it? Could dredging up the past serve any purpose other than to punish herself?

She couldn’t stay in the house any longer. The book was tugging at her curiosity. Maybe she should take a walk around the neighborhood. Better yet, she could go for a drive. She’d crank up the radio and sing to her heart’s content. That always helped her feel better in the past. Then she could swing through somewhere and get an ice cream cone. Yes, that was what she would do.

As she dug through her purse to see if she had any cash, she spotted the baseball. For a moment a sense of guilt washed over her. She quickly shook it off, reminding herself how rude Tim had been. She justified her feelings and her sin of stealing by saying Tim wanted her to move on from the past.

Well, the sooner she paid off her debt to Joe, the sooner she could breathe easier, and Tim's baseball would help her do just that. Then she could forget about him and move on with her life. She could think about selling the house and moving on to Tennessee where she’d never have to see Joe or Tim again. The thought brought a smile to her face.

Monica headed upstairs, brushed her teeth and ran a brush through her hair. She checked her makeup and ran a finger under each eye. When she was satisfied, she put on some of her clubbing clothes, and went back downstairs.

On the way back through the kitchen to the garage, she grabbed her purse, pushed away the knocking on her heart to return the ball to Tim, and went to the car. She knew someone who would take the baseball off her hands at a good price. She just didn’t know if she’d come back sober.

Before she could remind herself why she wanted to leave that part of her life in the past, before she could talk herself out of it, she climbed in the car and headed toward the city, never noticing the car that followed.

Chapter Twenty

2008-03-28T00:21:00.000-07:00

Sarah was reminded of the stories in the Bible she had read, and how Jesus had told even the woman caught in adultery to go and sin no more. She decided she trusted the Williams men. If Jesus had truly forgiven her sin, then her past didn’t matter. So, she told them her story, including how Mrs. Lepley had been there for her. They both sat in awe taking in the horrible details that comprised Sarah’s youth.

When she was finished with her story, she found she felt relieved they knew. Maybe they were going to be special friends God had brought to her. Whatever the case, she was glad she’d told them. She felt a new freedom. No more hiding from her past. If it was going to make her stronger, she couldn’t keep running from it.

Mr. Williams was the first to speak. “Sarah I’m very sorry for all that you’ve been through. You’re a very brave young woman. I’m so glad you’ve found a new life in Christ.” He reached into his inside jacket pocket. “If there’s ever anything you need, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call. Here’s my card.”

Mr. Williams handed her an expensive looking business card. She glanced at it briefly, but noticed he was a lawyer.

“Thanks.” Sarah said. “I’ve never told anyone about my life before. Some people know I was abused, but no one knew how bad, or that I had run away. I really appreciate you being so nice to me. It kinda renews my faith in men.”

They smiled at one another then packed up and headed toward the gate. Their flight would be leaving in forty-five minutes. Tyler again carried her bag.

They chose seats in front of the large windows facing the runway, and Sarah couldn’t help but laugh to herself as she remembered how Tyler had approached her at their first meeting. Had it truly been only two days ago?

She stole a glance at Tyler and decided she definitely wanted to spend more time with him. The thought sent a shy smile to her face, and she looked away.

“Ok,” he said catching her expression. “What’s so funny? Do I have something in my teeth?” He made a goofy face. “Maybe my hair is sticking up?” He pawed the top of his head. Then he looked Sarah in the eye and said “What gives?”

Sarah didn’t dare tell him. So she decided to tell him she was just thinking. Then she asked about his church.

Tyler gave her a skeptical glance, but told her all about his church. Then he said if she’d ever like to go, he’d be happy to pick her up.

“I’d like that.” She said. They sat a few moments in silence, and Sarah was about to give away her thoughts when the flight attendant called their row for boarding.

They moved along in the line, then Mr. Williams said “You two haven’t really gotten to know one another, so Sarah, why don’t you take my seat on the flight back. Then you two can chat. I need to make review some business and prepare for court tomorrow.”

Tyler and she looked at one another. Sarah smiled warily. What if Tyler didn’t want to sit with her? “Ok, if you’re sure.” She said.

“I’d say the smile on Ty’s face more than confirms the wisdom of my decision.” Mr. Williams and Sarah laughed as Tyler blushed. Inside, Sarah’s smile was as big as Tyler’s.

*****************************************

Once they were settled, Sarah and Tyler sat in awkward silence. It felt strange to be without Tyler’s dad. As it turns out, Sarah’s original seat was considerably farther back in the plane this time, so Mr. Williams was well out of sight. Sarah wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

They sat patiently through the mandatory flight attendant announcements and safety regulations. Tyler mimicked their movements, and made Sarah laugh. She playfully slapped his arm and whispered for him to stop. The brief contact with his skin sent sparks up her arm. Had he felt it too?

“So,” Sarah began when the speech was finally over. “What would you like to talk about?”

Tyler looked over at her and smiled. “Well, now that I’ve won the car from Dad for a month of Saturdays, how about we go out next weekend?”

Sarah was surprised he had asked her so boldly. She didn’t answer right away. Was he asking her out because he felt sorry for her? She couldn’t believe he would want to date her after hearing her life story just a while ago.

“That is,” Tyler added quickly to fill the silence. “if you want to. I mean, I’ll totally understand if you don't. We can be friends. I’m cool with that. I just thought maybe…”

Sarah laughed and cut him off before he made a complete fool of himself. “I’d love to. I’ve never been on a date before.”

It was Tyler’s turn to be surprised. “Never? Not even once? But you’re so…” he stopped himself.

“I’m so what?” Sarah asked innocently, though she thought she could fill in the blanks.

Tyler was saved from answering by the arrival of the flight attendant offering them a snack and beverage. After she stepped away, they both sat in silence, munching on blue corn chips.

“What’re you gonna do when you get back?” Tyler asked.

Sarah shrugged. I’ll probably unpack and then find something for dinner. Mrs. Lepley’s picking me up and she promised me a birthday surprise. I have no idea what that means, but she may take me out for dinner.”

Tyler looked disappointed. “Oh, that sounds nice.” He paused, thinking. “What do you want to do on Saturday?” he asked.

“I don’t know. What do people do on dates?” Sarah asked sincerely. “I’ve never really been anywhere or done anything, so pretty much whatever you choose will be a first for me.”

Tyler seemed as though he didn’t know what to say. “Alright then. I’ll surprise you.” He smiled and Sarah could almost see the wheels turning in his mind.

She decided to get the focus off their date. “You know all about me now, so would you tell me how you met Jesus, Tyler? I really would like to hear your story.”

Tyler shifted in his seat to more comfortably face her. “Sure. We weren’t always one big happy family. My dad was always busy with work and seemed we kids were just in his way.”

“We kids? How big is your family anyway?” Sarah interrupted.

“Oh yeah. Guess I haven’t told you much about us, have I? Well, there’s my younger brother Nate who’s fifteen, the eight year old twins Amy and Jessica, and the baby, Josh. Though he’s not a baby anymore. He’s six. Oh, and me. Five altogether.

“Anyway, my parents were ready to divorce. My mom was so tired of being alone with my brother and I, and she never saw my dad. Sure, we had a nice house and everything we wanted, but none of us were happy.

“One Sunday my mom finally gave in to my aunt, and decided church couldn’t do us any harm/ So we went. My dad didn’t go, he was out of town on business. My mom, who was hurting and in desperate need of love, gave her heart to Jesus. Though I was only eight at the time, I remember thinking I wouldn’t believe in any of it until it fixed things at home.”

Tyler paused to finish his water before the flight attendant came to collect their garbage.

“For the next two years my mom went to church faithfully, and brought me and my brother along. I had fun in my class and had made friends, but I really wanted my Dad to come. He wouldn’t.

“Christmas of that second year my brother and I were in the church play. My mother had us pray and pray that Dad would come. I had my doubts, but prayed to please my mom. He night before the play, my dad decided to come.

“During the short message our pastor shared, my dad, to quote him: ‘Finally swallowed my foolish pride and gave myself over to the Savior’s loving call.’ And I have to say that day changed our lives.

“My Dad became interested in me as a person, my parents didn’t fight all the time, and my dad cut back at work. Didn’t take long before Jesus convinced me too.

“I had just turned eleven when I asked my Dad a bunch of questions about Jesus and the Gospel. Right next to my bed that night I repented of my sin and invited Christ into my heart. It’s been a pretty sweet deal.”

Sarah took all the information in for a moment. So Jesus could heal families too. Maybe there was hope for hers after all.

“That’s a beautiful story, Tyler. To see you and your dad together, I’d never have guessed you weren’t always close. That’s great.” Sarah told him.

“Well, sometimes I have to admit it gets a little overwhelming. Sometimes I need a little space. I know my dad’s still trying to make up for lost time, but I’m really ok with it. I’m not that little boy without a daddy anymore.”

Tyler leaned his head back on the seat. “I can’t wait to get to college so I’ll have my own space. I need to prove to my dad I’m not ten anymore.”

Sarah understood about needing to get away from your parents- but not because they showed too much love. She couldn’t fathom such a thing.

They sat in comfortable silence for the remainder of the flight. Since there were no stops this time, their final goodbye would be at the exit of the plane.

Sarah found it hard thinking of parting ways. She’d just met the Williams men, but felt they were already more like family than anyone she’d known. Saying goodbye wouldn’t be easy, even though she’d see Tyler again in less than a week.

Chapter Nineteen

2008-03-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

When they finally arrived at the North doors, they both laughed.

“Well that was an adventure.” Monica said. “Whew! I wasn’t sure we’d make it out of there alive.”

“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “We’re thankful to have so many young families, but as you can see, they tend to crowd the hallways. I guess it’s a good problem to have though.”

“Makes me thankful I don’t have children that young anymore.” Monica sighed, then realized what it must have sounded like coming from her. She quickly tried to cover. “I didn’t mean that I’m thankful my daughter is gone, I just meant that…”

Tim stopped her by putting his hand on her arm. “It’s fine, Monica. I know what you meant.” His voice was comforting, gentle, his touch warm. He let his hand linger a while longer, then pulled away.

An uncomfortable silence followed, Monica lost in thought about Sarah, Tim watching for the Lepleys. Finally they arrived, laughing and calling out greetings to people across the expansive lobby.

“What are you in the mood for, kids?” Hank asked. “Mexican, Italian, Chinese…?”

“I’m game for anything.” Monica said. “Just as long as I don’t have to cook.” She laughed.

Joyce Lepley nodded. “Me too. I take Sundays off, and I mean off. I don’t lift a finger in the kitchen, not even to load the dishwasher. Well, starting after church, of course. Hank here wouldn’t pay a lick of attention if he didn’t get a decent breakfast.”

Hank scratched his chin. “Not sure when that started,” he mused. “But she’s a sneaky one. Got me doin’ woman’s work on Sunday, of all things.” He squeezed Joyce by the shoulders.

“Well I’m in the mood for Mexican.” Tim announced. “I haven’t had it for at least a month, and guacamole sounds so good right now.”

“Mexican it is then.” Hank said and led the way to the parking lot.

Tim stopped Monica. “Would you ride with me please? I need to talk with you.” His look was imploring, serious. It made Monica uncomfortable. She hoped he wasn’t going to ask her out. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe she never would be.

She didn’t want to be alone with Tim. It was just inviting her foot to her mouth again. Why did he make her so nervous? Was it because he was such a great Christian, or because of her growing attraction to him?

“I suppose that would be alright. Joyce,” Monica called out. “I’ll be riding with Tim.”

“Sure, Honey. We’ll see you there.” Joyce gave her a knowing look and winked. Monica groaned inwardly. The last thing she needed was for Joyce to decide to play matchmaker.

*******************

Once seated in Tim’s very new, very nice car Monica buckled her seat belt and straightened her skirt.

“Monica,” Tim said as he turned toward her. “Please don’t feel like you have to explain or justify everything you say. A part of the recovery process is to recognize the past for what it is, ask forgiveness if necessary, and then forgive yourself. Until you can do that, you’re at a high risk of using again.”

Monica was shocked. This was definitely not a request for a date. “Forgive myself?” Monica asked. “I don’t think I can. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. Some days I think everyone would be better off if I just crawled in a hole somewhere and died. I’ll never get over what I did.”

Tim sighed. “I thought the same thing. I don’t expect it to happen overnight. Just be open to letting God heal you. Accept His love and remember that no one deserves it. Remember my story too. I didn’t think I’d ever forgive myself either.” He paused, weighing his words carefully, then forged ahead.

“But eventually I got tired of feeling sorry for myself, of letting other people pity me under the guise of giving comfort, and decided I wasn’t going to let Satan dangle the past in front of my nose any more. You have to move on at some point, or God can’t use you.” Tim started the car, not waiting for a response.

Monica silently fumed. Who did he think he was? Feeling sorry for herself? How dare he imply he could even begin to understand what she’d done! His past had been a child’s innocent mistake. She had willingly allowed, even condoned what her past contained.

He would never understand. How could she have found him attractive? Right now he was nothing but irritating and repulsive. Monica crossed her arms and offered Tim a view of the back of her head while she stared out the window.

*************************

By the time they arrived at the restaurant, Monica had calmed enough to be civil. “Thank you for the ride.” She said before walking off. She knew she looked childish but she didn’t want to risk saying any more than that. She would put on a good face for the Lepleys, then go straight home.

The restaurant was nice, one Monica hadn’t been to before. It was definitely Mexican; from the brightly painted mural greeting patrons in the lobby, to the small table decorations with the Mexican flag as part the centerpiece. And the aromas wafting from the kitchen brought a watering to Monica’s mouth.

They were seated quickly, and secured the last available booth. The Lepleys sat on one side, and Monica reluctantly slid over to make room for Tim next to her. Though she would really prefer he stand. Or sit at the next table. She giggled quietly to herself at the thought.

When they were settled, the conversation shifted back to church and how everyone enjoyed the service. Monica relaxed a little, and helped herself to the chips and dip before placing her drink order of water with lemon.

Monica listened politely as the Lepleys recounted humorous tales of things the children had said and done in their class, but her mind wouldn’t let go of the conversation she’d had earlier with Tim. More like the conversation he had with me, she scoffed mentally.

Monica didn’t realize she had huffed out loud until Joyce asked for what must have been the second time if everything was alright. Monica’s cheeks flushed. “Yes, I’m fine.” She lied. “Just lost in thought is all. Sorry.”

The waiter returned to take their orders, then vanished with the flourish of a matador. Monica tried to stay interested in what the others were saying, but found herself analyzing everything Tim said, looking for hidden meaning or arrogance.

When the meal was over, Mrs. Lepley mentioned she’d love to have everyone over for coffee but had to pick up a friend from the airport in a few hours, and needed to rest.

Monica cringed as she anticipated what was coming next. “Tim,” Hank said. “Would it be too much trouble for you to take Monica home? We need to stop at the hardware store and get a few supplies for a little project I’m finishing up.”

Tim didn’t hesitate. “Of course not. I’d be glad to.”

Monica rolled her eyes and looked away. Did he want another shot at her? Wound her more deeply? Maybe he’d prepared a sermon he’d want her to listen to. She turned back in time to smile at the Lepleys and avoid them catching her expression. Joyce laid a hand on her arm as they walked out to the cars.

“We won’t be making it to church tonight, Dear. We’ve already made plans with the friend who’s flying in. Will you be alright? You’re more than welcome to stay with us again if you’re scared. Just have Tim bring you over any time after seven thirty.”

Monica started. How much time did they think she would be spending with Tim today? Not any more than absolutely necessary if she could help it. “No, thanks. I’m sure everything’s fine now. Don’t worry about me.” She tried to keep her voice down so Tim wouldn’t overhear, but was unsuccessful.

“What happened? Is everything ok? How can I help?” he asked, concerned.

Monica restrained from saying he could take a long walk off a short pier, and instead said “Please don’t worry yourself, I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.” She tried not to sound annoyed. “Ready to go?” Thankfully Tim got the hint and let it drop.

As they turned out of the parking lot, Tim informed Monica that he needed to stop and fill the gas tank before taking her home. He’d be going to play basketball with some guys after taking her home and was already low on gas.

“Fine.” Was all Monica said in reply. She hoped he wouldn’t ask her to come along and watch. That’s all she needed; him expecting her to stroke his ego after he’d crushed hers earlier. So typical of a man, she thought to herself. Well, he wouldn’t be getting any flattery from her.

She nursed her wounded pride and made a mental list of things to do when she got home. Tim was going on and on about the guys he played ball with and how far some of them had come in their recovery. Monica didn’t want to hear it. His self-righteousness was making her nauseated. The food she’d just eaten suddenly didn’t sit so well in her stomach.

Chapter Eighteen

2008-03-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

Sarah’s heart felt so light she practically skipped beside Nancy to the bookstore. She pored carefully over the choices, then chose a King James Version with a maroon cover. It was the most like the one in the hotel she could find.

“I can’t say thanks enough.” Sarah told Nancy. “I’ve never owned a Bible before. This means so much to me. I can’t wait to start reading it.” Sarah looked at the cover, then held the Bible close to her chest.

“Just remember,” Nancy began. “You’re new at this. Let God's Holy Spirit lead you as you read. If you come across something you don’t understand, pray and ask God to help you. It’s a good idea to ask God to teach you before you even open the cover. He will, you’ll see. Give yourself time.”

Nancy hugged her goodbye, then walked away, leaning heavily on her cane. Sarah could only stand and watch in awe. Nancy had such wisdom and peace. Sarah determined to be like Nancy- to let her past strengthen her rather than make her bitter.

Sarah looked around the lobby, knowing Tyler must be wondering where she had gone off to. She turned around and spotted him and his Dad near the exit, talking with Matt the van driver. She wanted to run over, but forced herself to walk.

“Hey there, nice Bible.” Tyler said smiling. “Is everything ok?”

“More than ok. Tyler, I asked Jesus to be my Savior, and I feel like I could fly home without the plane!” She lowered her head a bit and said quietly “I just feel so clean.”

Tyler’s father hugger her shoulders. “We couldn’t be more happy for you. We know the peace that comes from a heart surrendered to God. Just don’t let this new fire in your heart be extinguished too easily.”

Sarah wondered what he meant by that. Surely this feeling would never go away. It was a miracle, a wonderful gift. She’d not give it up easily.

“I hate to break up the party,” Matt said. “But if we don’t leave soon I’ll miss the second service, and y’all may miss your plane.”

They followed him back out to the van. During the brief ride back, Sarah looked at their surroundings with new eyes. Every tree and flower had their own unique look, the clouds were perfectly fluffy, and the sun made amazing patterns as it filtered through the trees lining the drive.

When they arrived at campus, they thanked Matt for the ride, then Tyler’s dad looked at his watch. “Twelve forty-five.” He announced. “We can either grab a quick bit here, or eat something more substantial at the airport. We’ll have plenty of time there to sit down and relax.” He smiled as he added “And hear more about your morning.” He winked at Sarah before continuing. “So, what’ll it be?”

Sarah didn’t care and neither did Tyler. They all decided then to wait until they could sit down together and talk. They parted ways, promising to meet back in front of the dining hall in fifteen minutes, luggage in tow. Sarah was glad she had packed up earlier in the morning.

After getting back to her room and changing into comfortable traveling clothes, Sarah looked in the mirror. As she brushed her hair, the smile from her first meeting with God earlier in the morning never left her face. “Thank you for loving me.” She whispered to Him.

After packing up her church clothes and brush, she surveyed the room one last time. In a few weeks she’d be living in a room very similar to this one. She could hardly wait to see what the future held.

*****************************************

Sarah arrived at the meeting place with a few minutes to spare. She decided to run in and grab some cookies to share on the flight later. She came back outside in time to watch Tyler and his dad chatting as they came up the walk. She felt a pang of jealousy at their closeness, but pushed it aside. She reminded herself the past would not make her bitter. She wouldn’t allow it.

“Ready for another trip to the airport?” Tyler smiled. “I’ll be more than ready to eat when we get there.” He turned to Sarah. “So, what’ll it be this time? Same kind of restaurant, or something new? We’re buying.”

Sarah knew better than to argue. The Williams men seemed bent on thoroughly spoiling her. She decided she’d let them. She never had anyone dote on her before, and she had to admit it felt wonderful. She thanked God again, this time for wonderful friends.

*****************************************

The airport was crowded with other weekend travelers heading home. Sarah could hear various conversations of people recalling events of their time in the mountains. Their voices sounded vibrant, refreshed; much like Sarah herself felt on the inside.

But she would go back to reality too. Back to her little dark room below the Library. She was still two months away from graduation. She hoped she could curb her excitement long enough to finish out the year in some semblance of sanity.

Once they made it through security, the men looked her way again. “What’s your decision, Miss?” Mr. Williams said as he gave a little bow. “It’s a time for celebrating, so your wish is our command.” He swept his hand to the side and bowed his head, just like a doorman for a long ago princess carriage.

Sarah looked around and told them her choice. “I feel a little silly. I mean, I know it isn’t fancy, but I’ve always wanted to try Chicken Little’s.” Her cheeks reddened a little.

Mr. Williams turned toward Tyler. “That sounds like an excellent suggestion, wouldn’t you agree Son?”

“Indeed. I give it my hearty approval.” Tyler replied in his best snobby tone. “Lead the way, Old Chap.”

“Watch the Old stuff Sonny.” Mr. Williams teased.

Tyler took her bag. “We can’t have you carrying your own bags on your birthday, now can we, Miss? It would be appalling if word ever got back to the estate that we were less than the perfect gentlemen.”

Sarah giggled and followed a while, then stopped Tyler. “How did you know it was my birthday? I don’t remember telling you.”

“Oh,” Tyler said, dropping the accent. “It’s your spiritual birthday. You know, the day you joined God’s family. Is it your other birthday too? Cool! Hey Dad…” Tyler called to his father, and ran ahead to tell him.

Sarah smiled to herself. A spiritual birthday. Joining God’s family. Wow, what a wonderful gift. She would warmly welcome God as her Father. And when she got home she would buy a notebook and write all of these things down so she could always remember them, just like she used to do when she was young.

*****************************************

They had all just sat down together when Mr. Williams asked who would like to bless their food. Sarah looked back and forth between Tyler and his Dad. “I’ll try.” She said. Sarah paused and cleared her throat several times before bowing her head.

“God,” she spoke softly. “Thank you for these friends, and all the nice things they’ve done for me. Thank you for this food. Thank you that you love me and that you forgive sin. Amen.”

Sarah couldn’t tell what they’d thought of her prayer, but it must have been ok because they dug right in to their food Sarah was hungry too. The chicken sandwiches they ordered smelled wonderful, as did the waffle fries. Sarah bit her sandwich and was delighted when she tasted pickle.

“This is really good.” She said after swallowing.

“Now, Tyler tells me this is your birthday. Your ‘birth’ birthday. Is that right?” Mr. Williams asked.

Sarah nodded, her mouth full. She pushed the food to one cheek and said “I’m eighteen today.”

Tyler and his dad looked at each other, pushed back their chairs, and cleared their throats. Mr. Williams spoke in a voice loud enough for the whole room to hear.

“Today is a very special day. Eighteen years ago our lovely companion was born. Today, she was born again. Would you all join us in singing happy birthday to Miss Sarah?”

Sarah’s faced turned scarlet. She couldn’t handle a whole room of people staring at her. Some of the people standing nearby clapped, and joined in the song. Others ignored them or rolled their eyes. Mr. Williams and Tyler meant well, and had to be the sweetest people she’d ever met.

When the song was over, they sat back down and continued eating as if nothing had happened. That caused Sarah to go into fits of laughter. Especially since some of the other customers were still staring at them.

“What?” Tyler said with his mouth full. Then he smiled a wicked grin and drank down some sweet tea. “So,” he said seriously. “Anything you want to share with us about this morning? Pretty amazing the title to the sermon, eh?”

Sarah nodded her agreement. It was pretty amazing. However, she wasn’t sure how to continue. Her past was deeply personal. Could they handle hearing her secrets? They seemed like such a wonderful and happy family with no scars from the past. What would they think of her if they knew the truth?

Chapter Seventeen

2008-03-28T00:18:00.000-07:00

When they arrived home, the first thing Mrs. Lepley did was turn down the bed in the spare room, and make sure Monica had everything she needed. She brought her a set of towels for the bathroom across the hall, then left her be.

Monica sat wearily on the bed. Her body ached for sleep, but her mind would not stop. She played out the events of the night over and again in her mind. She couldn’t believe she’d almost let Joe lure her back into using.

She knelt by the bed and cried out to God. “Lord, I have failed you already. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be this hard. Please help me to overcome my past and the addiction I have to cocaine. I want a new life from this point on. Please forgive me. I need Your strength. I don’t know if I can go through that again and come away sober. Thank you for Your forgiveness and love in my life. In Jesus name, amen.”

She crawled under the covers and tried to sleep. As the softness of the pillow registered to her mind, she felt herself slowly slip under the covers of sleep.

*****************************************

Sunlight peeking through the veil of curtains mingled with the sounds of people moving downstairs. They tugged at Monica to awaken, and she did so reluctantly. At first the fact the window was on the wrong side of the room startled her. Then she remembered she wasn’t home. She was with the Lepleys. Monica pulled the robe she had packed, and went downstairs to greet the morning.

Both Mr. and Mrs. were seated at the table with coffee warming their hands. When Monica entered, they looked up and smiled. Monica stuffed her hands into the oversize pockets on the front of her robe.

“Good morning Monica. All rested up? I hope we didn’t wake you. We’re not used to having other people in the house, and since we’re getting older we wake with the sunrise whether we want to or not. Can’t be helped.” Mrs. Lepley went to the cupboard and took out another mug. She filled it and brought it to Monica.

“Well, I heard you, but the sun was doing a pretty good job of waking me on its own.” Monica took the steaming mug and thanked Mrs. Lepley before adding sugar and milk from containers on the table. She sat across from Mr. Lepley. “What time is church?” she asked.

“We’ve got plenty of time. Hank and I wanted to talk with you about last night. We need the whole truth, Monica, or we won’t be able to help you. You know that.” Mrs. Lepley took a long sip from her mug. “So, what happened?”

Monica should have known they would want the whole story. She was still shamed by her behavior, but she wanted their help. She needed their help. That compelled her to be totally honest.

She told them how her house was a wreck and she wanted to clean to avoid the temptation to use cocaine, and get the house ready for the market at the same time.

Then she recounted how she heard the sound on the deck, and how Joe had gotten into the house and almost convinced her to use. She thanked them for coming to the rescue. She didn’t know what would have happened to her had they not shown up.

Mr. Lepley spoke this time. “I think it goes without saying that the sooner you move on to Tennessee the better. I would hate to see you get caught up in all that mess again. Why don’t we eat a good breakfast, and then see about getting ready for church. Tim promised to come for dinner today, and I think he’s got some news to share.” He drained his mug and set it on the table. “Let’s get to it.”

Mrs. Lepley made eggs and biscuits, and warmed more coffee. When they had all eaten their fill, Monica offered to clear the table. The Lepleys went upstairs. Monica thought again about last night’s events. She had promised Joe she would pay him what she owed him. The problem was she just didn’t have the money.

As she scraped plates and rinsed them, she thought about how she could get the money. She would be turning in her notice tomorrow at work, and needed the money from her last check to pay the mortgage on the house. Though she would have the electric and water turned off, it wouldn’t save her much. And Joe would expect her to pay him soon. She would just have to pray God would send her what she needed.

*****************************************

Monica prepared for church as quickly as possible, not wanting to make the Lepleys wait. She had showered out of necessity, and dressed in the only other clean dress she owned. Monica went downstairs, fully expecting the Lepleys to be waiting for her.

When she saw that she was alone, she sat on the couch and crossed her legs, folding her hands in her lap. The kitchen was clean, her bed was made, and her things put in order. She tried to think of something else she could do to help, but there was nothing.

A few moments later the Lepleys came down, dressed and ready to go. Monica stood to meet them, and together they headed out the door. Monica needed a word from the Lord today. She felt troubled about many things. Her only hope was the strength contained in the words between the pages of the new Bible the Lepleys had just given her.

*****************************************

When they arrived at church, Tim met them in the lobby and walked with Monica to what he described as the older singles’ class. He explained that some of the people in class were also involved with Celebrate Recovery, but they didn’t have their own class on Sunday mornings because privacy was essential to their ministry. If people didn’t feel safe, they wouldn’t come, period.

There were about forty people milling around the room having coffee and various breakfast pastries. When Tim walked in, several women turned his way and smiled. Monica felt self-conscious. He was obviously well liked.

The people she met that morning were very friendly. The teacher had spoken God’s Word with authority and passion. Life she hadn’t felt in a long time now coursed through her. She felt a sense of belonging, as if she’d been reunited with long lost family.

Between services some people fellowshipped in the oversize lobby while others hurried through it to get their children to class. Monica stood next to Tim as he spoke briefly with several people about the next Celebrate Recovery meeting.

Finally Tim turned to her and asked what she thought of class. “Oh, it was great.” Monica said. “That man is a gifted speaker. I would enjoy being in his class every week.”

Tim nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Steve is a great teacher. He’s a wonderful counselor as well. Several of the men from Celebrate Recovery have weekly sessions with him. He’s a very compassionate person. Where would you like to sit for the service?”

Monica hadn’t expected to sit with Tim. She was grateful he had helped her find the class, and introduced her to people, but she didn’t think it was appropriate to sit with him. They were both single, and someone may get the wrong idea. Not that she didn’t find him attractive, she did. But she couldn’t even begin to think about men at this point in her life.

“Do you think we could sit with the Lepleys? I don’t want them to think I’ve abandoned them.” Monica craned her neck, obviously looking for them.

“I’m sure they would love that. But they’ve recently volunteered to help out in the Junior Church, and won’t be in the service. While we were in our singles class, they were in church. They asked me to show you around.” He looked at Monica, concern on his face. “Are you uncomfortable with the idea of sitting with me? If so, we can join some friends from class, and you can sit with the women. I won’t be offended at all.” Tim looked expectantly at her.

Monica felt sheepish. Tim wasn’t trying to be alone with her, he was simply fulfilling a promise. Suddenly the things she had thought seemed foolish. “No, no, of course not. It’s fine. I just didn’t want to leave them out is all. We can sit wherever you like.”

“Great. I usually sit near the middle. I like being surrounded by voices during worship time. Is that alright with you?” Tim waited for her reply.

“Yes, that’s fine. Perfect.” Monica turned and followed Tim into the auditorium.

*****************************************

After the service let out Monica followed Tim yet again as they went to find the Lepleys. “I feel like a lost puppy following you everywhere today.” She said to his back.

“Sorry about that. I know it must be frustrating not knowing where anything is. The more often you come, the sooner you’ll get to know your way around. I really don’t mind helping you though.” He slowed so they could walk side by side. “I didn’t mean to storm ahead.”

They entered a narrow hallway and followed the line of parents to the room where Junior Church was held. The Lepleys were in the back sorting cartons of crayons, and stacking papers back into a cupboard. Tim stuck his head just in the door and said to Hank over the din, “We’ll just be waiting out here in the hallway. Take your time, ok?”

Hank waved to him and passed on the message to the missus. “That’ll be just fine, Tim. Shouldn’t be but a few minutes. We’ll meet you in the lobby by the north doors.”

Tim turned to Monica and said “Get ready to follow me again. We’ve got to fight our way back to the lobby. Hold on to the sleeve of my jacket, ok?”

Monica didn’t think he was serious. As they turned and re-entered the hallway, Monica gasped quietly at the sea of people they faced. She reached out and grabbed Tim’s sleeve at the elbow. “Ready when you are.” She said.

Chapter Sixteen

2008-03-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

A man in a suit walked to the podium and handed the preacher a glass of water. The old gentleman smiled and thanked him. He took a long drink before continuing.

“Thanks Brad. Now, as you all know, we’re starting our faith building series this month. The upcoming sermons are designed to help you, as followers of Christ, know why you believe what you believe.”

Sarah shifted in her seat. Maybe this was a bad idea. This lecture focused on Christians. She didn’t even own a Bible. Sarah looked over at Tyler who was pulling a pen and small notebook from the zippered case his Bible was in. Maybe she could bum some paper off him and doodle. She leaned over and whispered “Hey, can I have some paper?”

Tyler smiled and quietly separated a few sheets from the perforated edge and handed them to her. She whispered thanks to him and looked down at the paper. She leaned over to him again and whispered “Um, how about a pen?” She smiled in embarrassment and fanned her lashes at him.

Tyler reached into the front pocket of his case and handed her his spare pen. He smiled then turned back to his Bible. Sarah didn’t want to seem rude by drawing immediately, so she looked up to the stage.

A screen lowered and the title for the lecture was projected onto it. “How do we know the Bible is true? Well, that’s what I aim to share today.” The preacher glanced at the screen behind him and gestured toward it. “This is the first step in knowing what you believe. If the Bible isn’t true, then all the doctrines we gain from it are worthless. Shall we begin with a word of prayer?” The preacher bowed his head and grasped the podium with both hands.

Sarah sat up straighter. She couldn’t believe it. Hadn’t she just been wondering this very thing? She quickly wrote the title for the lecture at the top of her paper, then the date. She settled back in her seat and prepared to take notes. Sarah hoped he wouldn’t use the Bible too much, or else she wouldn’t be able to keep up.

The preacher finished his prayer and glanced at the screen again. “Now, some of you may expect a whole slew of verses to prove the truth of the Bible. Well, we’ll get there eventually. Trying to prove the Bible is true by using verses from it is like trying to define a word by using it in your definition.

“For now, we’ll focus on outside proofs, or external evidence. This means we’ll look to other sources that help prove the Bible is true. Let me give you the man points we’ll try to hit today, then I’ll go more in depth with each.”

Sarah copied every fact on the list. She wanted to take good notes so she could review later and check things out on the internet. Some of the things the preacher planned to speak about surprised Sarah, since they were things that fit within the scientific community.

“Let’s begin with fulfilled prophecy. Hundreds of prophecies in the Bible have been fulfilled down to the letter. Many of these prophecies weren’t fulfilled until long after the writer had died.

The preacher went on sharing examples, and Sarah took detailed notes. She wished they left the information on the screen a little longer so she could write more. The Pastor shared how Christ’s coming to earth fulfilled three hundred prophecies. There were a few more examples comparing the Bible’s one hundred percent accuracy to modern day so-called prophets like Jeanne Dixon and Edgar Cayce. They didn’t even compare.

The preacher clicked a button on the small remote in his hand, and a new slide came up on the screen. “Some of you may be surprised to find there are a lot of verses that show science in the Bible. Now, it’s not always stated in scientific jargon, but it’s the same facts. Let’s take a look.”

He pressed the little button again and the screen filled with verses. Sarah wasn’t really listening to what he was saying, because she was frantically trying to copy every word she saw on the screen. She only hoped she would later understand the abbreviations she scrawled.

Tyler tapped her forearm and leaned over. He had circled something on the back of a paper one of the ‘greeters’ had handed them as they entered the auditorium.

All sermons and sermon notes are
available as free downloads from our
website: http://www.grace-in-gatlin.net.

Sarah laughed in relief. Whew! All the furious writing could stop for now. She leaned back and really started to listen. She smiled at Tyler and mouthed a thank you. She purposely put the cap on her pen and folded her papers.

The scientific findings in the Bible amazed Sarah. Dozens of verses pointed out things writers in the Bible knew thousands of years before ‘modern’ science discovered them.

The facts had Sarah totally drawn in. Until a few days ago she had never even read the Bible. Now she found herself fascinated with the knowledge it contained about the world. The life of Jesus had her interested as well.

The preacher next hit on archaeological evidence, the proof of historians, the proof of people living at the time of Christ, the Bible’s internal consistency, its unique structure, and finally its transforming affect on people’s lives.

When the lecture was over, Sarah was convinced the Bible was true. And if it were true, then all the stories about Jesus were true. She couldn’t wait to read more about Him. Light piano music drew Sarah out of her thoughts.

“Now, maybe you’re here today and you don’t know Jesus as your personal Savior. If what the Bible I hold in my hand says is true, and I believe we’ve proven that here today, then we know His purpose for coming to this Earth was to give His life in exchange for ours. He knew all the sins we would ever commit, and still decided we were worth leaving Heaven for.”

The preacher continued to speak. Sarah couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was it possible that Jesus died for her? Could she really have forgiveness of her sins? She had carried such a burden for so long, that guilt was all she knew. What would it be like to have peace?

“If you want to speak with someone who can show you more of what the Bible has to say about Christ’s sacrifice for you, then come to the altar. We have men and women who would love to share with you what Christ has done in their lives, and show you what He can do in yours.”

Sarah didn’t know how it happened, didn’t even feel herself moving, but suddenly found herself led by a woman with a cane into a small room off the back of the auditorium.

The woman, who Sarah guessed to be in her forties, motioned for Sarah to have a seat. There were two chairs and a small wooden table in the room. In the center of the table sat a vase of pale peach carnations, and a box of tissues. After closing the door, the woman sat in the chair across from Sarah.

She held out her hand and introduced herself. “Hi. I’m Nancy. And you are?” Sarah put her hand in Nancy’s. She stated her name. “How can I help you today Sarah?” Nancy smiled, and Sarah could see the genuine desire to help reflecting in her eyes.

“Well, um, I guess I want to know how to have peace in my life. See, I don’t have a great past.” Sarah looked down at her lap, not sure she could tell this stranger the intimate details of her life.

Nancy smiled in an understanding way. “I know what you mean. I don’t have a great past either. None of us do. Sin has separated every one of us from God. We desire peace but are unable to gain it on our own. Would you like to hear how I came to Christ? It might make you feel a little better.”

As Nancy spoke, Sarah’s eyes widened with the sad circumstances of her life. She was pregnant at thirteen and had run off with the baby’s father. They never married, and by the time she was fifteen he ran off with another woman. Nancy was too young to work, and couldn’t support herself, let alone a child. She eventually had her child taken from her. Nancy hadn’t turned to drugs like some had. However, she had become a prostitute to support herself.

Nancy said she had only intended to do it until she had enough money saved up for a car and a deposit on an apartment, but the man who controlled her ‘jobs’ wouldn’t let her go. She eventually ran away from him and ended up in the hospital from a gunshot wound to her left thigh. That was the reason for the cane.

It was during her recovery that she came to Christ. One of the nurses was extremely kind to her, and told her every day that she was praying for her and knew God had big plans for her life.

“I was very stubborn and prideful. Proud of what, I don’t know. There was nothing good in me. But that nurse continued to show me kindness, and the Word of God. The day before my release from the hospital, I accepted Christ as my Savior. My nurse friend took me in and helped me get a job. Slowly my life began to turn around.

“The ground that had been burnt to ash in my past slowly began to sprout with new life. I had hope for the first time in years. Christ became my Rock, my Protector, and my Comforter. Once I knew that my past didn’t matter to Him, I was free. I could finally let go of the weight I had carried. I was indeed a new creature.

“This cane serves as a reminder to me of how God spared my life, and of all that He has forgiven. Christ hasn’t done this for me alone. He’s waiting for you, Sarah, to let Him take that weight from you. Whatever is in your past, Christ has already forgiven it. You just need to accept His gift.”

Sarah thought for a few moments. She wanted to tell Nancy about her past, in case there was something that made her exempt from Christ’s gift. Sarah started at the beginning; from as far back as she could remember. The story poured out of her more easily than she anticipated. She felt clean just sharing with someone else. When she was finished, she looked hesitantly up at Nancy.

Tears filled Nancy’s eyes. “I’m very sorry that happened to you. I want to remind you that you didn’t choose the abuse. You have to know that in no way was any of that your fault. Your Mother is obviously a very troubled woman who has been hurt deeply. However, the stealing and the lying you chose. The hatred you have in your heart for your Mother and those men, that breaks God’s law.”

Sarah hung her head in shame. “I know those things were wrong. It’s just really hard to let it go. Well, thanks for listening. I knew somehow this was not meant for me. I’m sorry I wasted your time. I’ll go now.” She moved to stand.

Nancy took her arm and held it. “No, honey, you don’t understand. It’s your realization that you chose to break God’s law that makes you a perfect candidate for His grace.”

Nancy took her Bible from the table and pulled out a paper with the Ten Commandments on it. Then she opened to verses in the book of Romans. She shared how all people had sinned ever since Adam and Eve had disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden. That sin, the breaking of God’s law, separated us from God and we deserved the punishment of Hell.

Jesus had come to reunite us with God. When He shed His blood on the cross, He was the one perfect sacrifice for all sin forever.

Sarah took in every word. It made perfect sense. She was ready to let Christ renew her life. She knew now that all people needed Him as much as she did. She bowed her head, confessed and repented of her sin, and asked Christ to be her Savior.

A deep feeling of peace filled her. She was overwhelmed, and wept quietly. Several emotions were at war inside her. She shed tears in regret of her sin, for her Mother and the life she was trapped in, and for the relief of the burden she had carried.

She wept for the father she had never known, and for the Father she now had. She couldn’t describe how she felt, but she thought it must feel like love. Yes, she felt loved. She kept her eyes closed, and took it in. She didn’t remember ever feeling this way. God cared about her, and now she knew it.

After a few minutes she opened her eyes. Nancy was crying too. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I still think it’s amazing that God could love me. However, He does. Isn’t that wonderful?” Sarah could only nod in agreement. Nancy handed her a tissue, and they both wiped their noses.

“So what do I do now?” Sarah asked. Nancy laughed. “Well, first of all you need a Bible. If you’ll come with me to the book store, I’ll be happy to get you one. And don’t worry- you look fine.” They both giggled, and walked out of the room together. Sarah couldn’t wait to tell Tyler.

Chapter Fifteen

2008-03-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

The hair stood up on the back of Monica’s neck, and her grip subconsciously tightened on the knife handle. She turned around quickly to face the voice. “Joe! You startled me. What’re you doing here, and how did you get in?” She didn’t trust him for a minute.

“Easy. Back door to the garage was unlocked, as usual. And this time the door inside to the house was too. I would’ve been here waiting for you when you got back, but someone called the cops earlier.” He moved closer to her and ran his finger along her jaw. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, Pet?”

Monica glanced at the cordless phone she was absentmindedly clutching to her chest, and replaced it in its crook. She pleaded silently with God to help her know what to say. Monica took a second to study Joe’s face before answering. He looked stoned. Depending on how much he took, she had about thirty minutes to stall him before he’d be ready to crash.

“Well,” Monica said, trying to sound casual. “It was me.” She backed up to the dishwasher and placed the knife in the back of it. Though it had just finished its cleaning cycle, she pushed the steam dry button again. The door couldn’t be opened now for at least forty minutes.

Monica continued the dialog while she worked. “You see, I didn’t have the money I owed you, and I was afraid the neighbors would get nosy. We don’t want that, now do we?” She pulled two mugs from the cupboard and started a pot of coffee. “Do you want cream and sugar, or straight black?” Monica asked over her shoulder.

The closeness of his voice at his reply startled her. She turned and found him staring right into her eyes. “Listen, Pet. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I didn’t come here to chat over coffee. I want my money.”

Joe reached up and caressed Monica’s cheek with the back of his hand. “And since when do you care about what the neighbors think? Have you forgotten how wild you can be?” He gave her a knowing look. Then the fire returned to his eyes and he grabbed her harshly by the upper arms. “Where’s my money?!?” he yelled, shaking her.

Monica was truly frightened. Usually when Joe was this way she was high herself and didn’t take anything he said seriously. But she was fully sober and knew the situation was serious indeed. She didn’t like the way his eyes roved over her body.

She decided the best course of action would be to tell him the truth of all that had happened in the last day. He’d probably think she was joking, and who could gage his reaction in this state. But the Lord honored honesty.

Monica decided to make some popcorn too. Anything to distance herself physically from him. She gently shrugged free from his grip. “Joe, I need to level with you.” She backed up toward the pantry to get the popcorn. She took a deep breath “I got right with God last night.” She waited for him to react, but he didn’t. He just stared blankly at her and sat on one of the bar stools at the island. Monica decided to continue.

“I know I’ve really made a mess of my life. But God has forgiven me, and I’m ready to start over. I’ll pay you what I owe you, and then I don’t want to see you again.”

Joe’s gaze was fixed on her, his jaw taut. Suddenly he burst out laughing. “You did what? God forgave you?” He gestured in a mocking way towards her. “You? Have you forgotten who you are? What you’ve done? No. It won’t last. This is a phase. You’re feeling guilty about things, but you’ll get over it. Religion is for old people. Or stupid people.” He shook his head in disgust.

Monica’s voice was filled with determination as she countered, “I’ve made up my mind, Joe. I don’t want anything to do with my old life. I’ve wasted enough time as it is. Somewhere out there I have a daughter that I very much need to make things right with.” Guilt flooded her just thinking about Sarah.

Monica threw the popcorn into the microwave and slammed the door. “I don’t expect you to understand.” She said. “You’re buzzing right now. Tomorrow you won’t even remember this conversation, but I won’t forget. I promised God I would obey no matter what. And I intend to keep my promise. No more drugs, ever.”

This statement got a reaction. Joe jumped up from his perch on the stool and backed Monica against the pantry door. “No more drugs, huh? We’ll see about that. What, you think because you ‘spoke to God’ that now you’re somehow better than me? You’re a slave just like I am. The cocaine rules you just like it does me.” He pulled a bag from his coat pocket. Monica glanced down at it, trying to will it to go away.

Joe held the cocaine under her nose, taunting her. His voice became soothing, seductive. “Remember how good this makes you feel? When you're bawling your head off about your baby, or that fool Brad, or how your life is over; one hit of this and you’re flyin’ high. It's like magic. No dead babies, no stress, just sweet peace and relaxation.” He kissed her cheek, close to the corner of her mouth. “Remember how good we are together?”

Monica had been staring at the bag in his hand. She remembered all too well the sensations of absolute peace and relief that washed over her from one hit. Her past couldn’t touch her. There was no guilt. Only a self-made reality where she felt invincible and extremely happy. Her baby was there with her and Brad had never left. Sarah was with them too and they were all one happy family. No guilt, no shame, no regrets. Monica reached for the bag.

*********************

The Lepleys had been held up by a semi that was jack-knifed across the only road that led from their house to Monica’s. They prayed all the while they waited. The were just pulling into Monica’s driveway when the apprehensive feeling struck Joyce again.

“Oh God, please!” she managed to get out before exiting the car and running up the walk to the front porch. Hank followed close behind. Within seconds they stood before the door. Joyce reached out and rang the bell repeatedly while Hank pounded on the door.

**********************

The words Tim had spoken earlier that night rang in Monica’s ears, and snapped her back to reality. She shook her head and pushed Joe away. “No. I made a promise to God, and no one can stop me from getting sober. I told you, I’ll pay you what’s owed, and then I never want to see you, or that,” she said pointing to the bag, “again.”

Joe stiffened and looked ready to strike her. His hands were balled into fists and the vein in his neck was pulsing. Suddenly the doorbell rang, followed by urgent pounding on the door.

They both turned toward it in surprise. Joe leaned in close enough to her ear for Monica to feel his hot breath on her neck. “You’ll be back. When you’ve come to your sense and have seen how God is nothing but a joke," he spat out, "you’ll be back. Crawling on your hands and knees begging for just a fingernail full. And when you do,” he shook the bag in her face, “we’ll be waiting.”

Monica ducked out from behind the press of his body and went to answer the door. She recognized the voice of Joyce Lepley on the other side. Monica undid the dead bolt and let in her new-found friends.

Joyce was breathless as she spoke. “Dear, are you alright? The Lord woke me and I just had this feeling you were in danger. We got here as soon as we could. Is everything ok?” Worry lines decorated Joyce’s forehead as she glanced about her.

Monica didn’t know what to say. She felt like bursting out crying, or vomiting, but didn’t want Joe to hear. She was ashamed at what she’d almost allowed to happen. Monica led the Lepleys into the kitchen. The door to the garage stood open and Joe was nowhere in sight. Monica exhaled a sigh of relief at not having to explain his presence.

“Um, I’m fine.” She glanced about warily, making sure Joe was really gone. Monica stifled a yawn as she went to shut the door. Then she remembered that Joe had gotten in through the back door of the garage, and she asked Hank if he would please check out back and lock up.

After Hank stepped outside, Joyce looked at the counter and spoke in hushed tones. “Is there anything I can do to help? I see you made a pot of coffee. Who’s the other mug for?”

Monica looked over at the counter where the mugs sat. She walked over and put them back in the cupboard. She didn’t want to get into it right now. She needed time to process what had happened. Her body suddenly felt very weary. She yawned aloud this time.

‘Well the garage is all secured.” Hank said, coming in at last. “Looks like someone left in a hurry. I don’t need to know who it was, or what happened, but I’ll tell you one thing- you’re coming home with us.”

Monica didn’t have the heart or the energy to protest. The hours she spent cleaning mixed with the emotional and frightening episode that just occurred left her weak and weary. She ran a hand through her hair. “Let me just run upstairs and get some things together. I’ll be down in a minute.”

After Monica went upstairs, husband and wife looked warily at one another. Monica hadn't slept, that was for certain. She was in old work clothes, not pajamas. And she seemed distracted, scared. But she wasn't high, and that was a good thing. Well, they reasoned, they'd have plenty of time to talk about it after they all calmed down and had some good strong coffee.

Chapter Fourteen

2008-03-28T00:15:00.000-07:00

The morning dawned bright and promising. Sarah awoke fully rested. Since she was in a single room, there was no one to fight with for time in front of the mirror, and no worries about dressing in front of a stranger.

Sarah opened the small closet in the room and removed her dress from the hanger. She shook it to rid it of surface wrinkles, and laid it on the bed. A glance at the clock told her it was only seven thirty. The gurgling in her stomach convinced her to take time and have breakfast in the cafeteria.

The place was pretty empty. Sarah wasn’t surprised, considering it was so early on a Sunday morning. Many of the students wouldn’t emerge from their rooms until at least noon, if they came out at all. Though the dorm had been quiet, Sarah was sure there were parties somewhere. She had no desire to know anything about it, or be a part of it. She’d seen what it had done to her Mother.

After making the rounds and eyeing all that was offered for breakfast, Sarah finally decided on oatmeal and a small bowl of fruit. She was hungry, but felt a little nervous. As much as she’d love more sausage, she was afraid of what the grease would do to an already nervous stomach.

With no one to talk to, Sarah’s breakfast passed quickly. She returned her dishes to the dish window, then headed back to her room to get changed. Since she had showered the night before, Sarah had only to brush her teeth, fix her hair, then get dressed.

Even with taking her time getting ready, she still had thirty minutes before she was to meet Tyler and his Dad in front of the dining hall. She had even packed up all her things so she just had to make a quick stop and change before they headed back to the airport. Since the sun was exceptionally bright, Sarah decided to take a short walk around campus.

After making sure the door was locked behind her, Sarah went down the stairs to greet the morning. The campus was beautiful. All the walkways were cobblestone, and the one leading up to the girls’ dorm was lined with dogwood trees.

Sarah inhaled deeply. She was very happy to be outside. She continued down the pathway and stopped when she reached the point where all the walkways met together. She turned a slow three-sixty and looked at each building in turn.

This little collection of brick and mortar would soon be her home for the next four years. The campus had a homey feel to it, and Sarah found herself looking forward to start of her classes. She glanced at her watch and headed toward the dining hall.

Tyler was sitting on the half wall that ran along the sidewalk. His father was standing in front of him. They were both wearing suit coats and ties. Sarah approached from behind Mr. Williams, and noticed Tyler’s eyes light up when he saw her.

“Good morning!” He said as she walked up. “Looks like you slept well last night. No more all-night study sessions, eh?” he joked.

“Well, I don’t have a Bible, but if I did, I may well have spent a few hours digging into it again. The one at the hotel had a neat table of contents in the front that addressed certain issues like loneliness and things. That looked pretty interesting to me.” Sarah replied.

“Yes,” said Mr. Williams. “The Bible is full of interesting things. I’m sure when you get your own, you’ll have a hard time putting it down.” He smiled at her then turned and walked away from them to look through the windows of the dining hall.

Tyler dismounted from the wall. Sarah stood before him in uncomfortable silence. “So,” Tyler began. “have you eaten? We have time for you to run in for a few sausages or something.” He winked at her.

“No, thanks.” She laughed. “I ate earlier. Oatmeal this time. I have to admit I’m a little nervous. I’ve never been to a church before. Hope I don’t do anything wrong.” Sarah fiddled with her bangs then patted the bun she had twisted her hair into.

“We’ve never been to this church before either.” Tyler said, then gestured to the three of them. “So we’ll be newbies together. And it’s church, what could you possibly do wrong?”

Just then the van from the church pulled up. The driver’s name was Matt and he was head of third grade Sunday School. He had a thrown-together look about him. His blond hair was cut in a flat top style which accentuated his strong jaw line, and bright blue eyes. His Snoopy tie hung a little loose and crooked around his neck, and one side of his shirt hadn’t quite been tucked in. He definitely looked like the kind of guy who enjoyed hanging around elementary school-age kids.

Matt shook hands with both Mr. Williams and Tyler. Then he put his hand on his hip and gave Sarah a casual salute. He was careful to keep his eyes to himself. Sarah noticed a wedding ring, and was glad, for his wife’s sake, that he wasn’t a creep.

The introductions were friendly but to the point. They all loaded into the van and had lively conversation during the short drive to the church. Matt made Sarah feel at ease. He told them about the church, when it was founded, and how many members there were. As they rounded a corner on a tree lined street, the building came into view.

The church looked impressive to Sarah. Not so much because of the size of the building, but from the fact that the parking lot was filled almost to capacity.

The large double wooden doors situated at the top of the cement stairs were open, and Sarah could hear piano music and people singing. Her eyes moved up to the white steeple at the top, and Sarah had to shade her eyes to avoid the glare of the sun. The heavily wooded backdrop made the whole scene seem like something from an old southern movie set.

Matt parked the van in a visitor’s parking spot near the building and turned in his seat. “Sorry we’re a bit late. I admit I didn’t know you-all needed a ride until this morning. My family was running behind, so we’re all a bit late for the service. I have a class to teach, but I’ll walk you in and help you find seats, alright?” He smiled at them and then unbuckled and exited the van. The others did the same.

Sarah faced the building and took in a cleansing breath. She would not let herself be afraid of this. Neither the building or the people inside it could hurt her. She was simply here to learn whether the Bible was true or not. What could go wrong?

Tyler walked up beside her and placed his hand on the small of her back. He leaned over and whispered “You’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’ve been praying for you.” Then he followed his Dad inside.

***************

After finding seats near the middle of the auditorium, Tyler and his Dad placed their Bibles behind them on the long bench and joined in the singing. Sarah folded her hands in front of her, and stood politely listening.

She couldn’t resist looking around. The people near her seemed interested in the song. Some of them had their eyes closed and swayed gently as they sang. Sarah looked in the other direction. An older woman next to Tyler’s father had her hands raised in the air and a peaceful expression on her face. Sarah had never seen anything like it before, and she was more than a little uncomfortable. She glanced behind her to find the closest exit, just in case, since the main doors at the back had been closed after they entered.

The song came to an end, and a middle aged man with a microphone started to speak. Everyone immediately bowed their heads, but Sarah was still looking around. It took her a few minutes to realize he was praying, and that she should shut her eyes and listen. She was still nervous, so she kept her eyes open and let them rove around the room, though she did bow her head.

When the man was finished, he welcomed the Pastor to the platform. An older gentleman walked up the stairs, placed his Bible on the pulpit and glanced at the crowd. He smiled warmly, and Sarah liked him immediately. There was something about him that seemed totally honest. His face was kind, and it was obvious he truly cared for the people that sat before him.

As he spoke, his voice sent a calm to Sarah’s ears. Something about it soothed her. She could hardly wait to hear all that he would have to say.

Chapter Thirteen

2008-03-28T00:14:00.000-07:00

After asking more questions about Celebrate Recovery, the ministry in Tennessee, and finally eating a piece of that cake, Monica was ready to go home. The fellowship had continued to be warm and relaxed, and the coffee good and hot. The Lepleys were very hospitable people, and made sure they invited Monica to church in the morning before offering to take her home.

They had discussed the rehab facility in more detail, and it sounded interesting. Monica planned to do a little research about it. Mrs. Lepley had driven her home, and Monica had anxiously scanned the area for Joe, hoping he wasn’t hiding anywhere nearby. Though she was ready to embrace a new way of life, she feared she wouldn’t make it through the night without needing a hit. Joe would be only too happy to provide, for a fee of course.

After locking herself inside and changing into old clothes, Monica looked around the house with new eyes. The place was filthy! It had been neglected for months. The last time it had been given a good cleaning was when she had promised to have people from work over for a small dinner party. She’d hired a cleaning service then. But doing it herself this time was one way to stay occupied and keep her desire for a fix at bay.

The kitchen was the most logical place to start, since it looked the dirtiest. Well, next to her own bedroom upstairs. Monica loaded the dishwasher, then set the pots and pans to soak in boiling water. After picking up random garbage scattered around, and wiping down the counters, the kitchen was beginning to look somewhat presentable.

Monica paused long enough to drink a large glass of ice water, then continued her work. There were piles of laundry about, and almost every towel in the house was dirty. So she started moving from room to room picking up dirty clothes and stuffing them down the laundry chute.

When she couldn’t find any more laundry on the first floor, Monica went to the basement and started the laundry. Quite a mountain had accumulated, and Monica knew it would be a long night. She also vowed never to let the house get to this point again. It was disgusting and embarrassing. She dumped in the soap, turned the knob, and headed back up to work on the second floor stairwell.

After mopping, cleaning the half bath, and vacuuming every carpet on the first floor, she collapsed into a recliner in the living room. Monica took the time to reflect on her day. So much had happened. God had proven Himself faithful even though she had ruined and wasted so many years.

He had been waiting all this time with open arms to forgive her, and welcome her back to Him. She took a moment to silently thank Him again for the gift of forgiveness.

Monica glanced at the clock on the mantel. There were still four hours until sunrise, so she headed to the computer in the den to do some research on Celebrate Recovery. She Googled it and then followed link after link that mentioned anything about it. It seemed like a solid ministry, and there were plenty of personal testimonies to support it.

One story in particular that touched her was a video diary a woman posted on YouTube about her experience in the ministry, and what God was showing her. Monica followed her story through from the beginning and couldn’t believe the visible change in the woman. Monica prayed she could have a similar change of life.

As she thought about the ministry, Monica’s thoughts couldn’t help but stray to Tim. Any ministry’s success or failure did, in part, lie with the leader. Tim certainly seemed dedicated. Monica was sure the people he ministered to found his lead easy to follow. Tim had the experience, the Bible knowledge, and definitely the compassion to make a difference. He’d been where they are and so had a greater resource available to him than most; empathy. He knew what they were dealing with, and he pulled no punches. He was straightforward, but loving. He truly wanted to see people get better.

Monica sat and thought about Tim and all the good he’d already done in her own life. His contact in Tennessee was just what she needed. She’d already made up her mind to sell the house, and without realizing it, all the cleaning she’d done was the beginning of the process to put the house on the market.

Blinking herself out of her thoughts, the dust on the bookshelves caught her eye. Monica stretched her arms over her head before vowing to get up and take care of it. Mrs. Lepley would be picking her up for church around nine fifteen and Monica wanted the house to look its best.

On the way to the kitchen to retrieve the dusting supplies from under the sink, Monica heard a noise. Quickly she froze. It sounded like someone was on the back deck. She couldn’t very well turn out the lights now, or whoever was outside would know she was there.

She decided instead to grab the cordless phone and the butcher knife. The rest of the knives in the block she quietly hid in the fridge, just in case.

Monica posted herself in the pantry. From this location in the far corner of the room, she could see the whole first floor excluding the half bath, which was behind her. The noise sounded again. Monica waited three fear-filled minutes before deciding to become the aggressor.

Before dialing 9-1-1, she decided to sneak a peek through the dining room window. Since she had lived so long in secrecy and drug addiction, the curtains were already drawn. She dared part them slightly to catch a glimpse of who was outside. She could imagine Joe sneaking around, looking for a way into the house. Monica thanked God she had never given him a key to the house. Not that he hadn’t asked.

Carefully she worked her fingers into the separation between the curtain panels. She parted them slightly, and then threw them open with a laugh. Raccoons! Her fears had been unfounded, thank God. She closed the curtains again and went to the back door off the breakfast nook to scare them away. Monica had just turned on the deck light when a rough voice behind her asked “What’s the knife for, Pet?”

**********************

Mrs. Lepley bolted upright in bed. “Hank. Hank!” Her husband rolled over to face her direction and asked “What’s wrong?” He didn’t even open his eyes.

“I just got the worst feeling that Monica’s in trouble. Maybe she’s feeling weak and wanting to use. Or maybe she’s hurt. I don’t know, I just feel like the Lord woke me for us to pray for her. Will you pray with me Hank? I don’t think I can sleep until we do.”

Hank sat up and briefly rubbed the backs of his hands across his eyes. “Sure, Sweetheart. I don’t want to silence the Lord’s call to pray. Would you like to, or shall I?”

Mrs. Lepley took his hands and squeezed them. “I love you. Thanks for understanding. I’ll pray.” She bowed her head and sat quietly, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide her words.

“Oh, God, You know what’s going on with Monica right now. I know You woke me because You want me to pray. Father, if she’s in danger or hurting herself with drugs, I ask that You’d give her the strength to stop. If she’s wavering, give her the strength to resist until the urge passes. Father, please, surround her with your angels. Let them minister to and comfort her.” Mrs. Lepley paused.

“Lord, I really feel like her life is in danger. Please intervene. Send some miracle to help her right in this instant. I trust You to lead and protect her. Thank You for being such a wonderful God, and for restoring her relationship with You. Please don’t let Satan have any victory this night. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”

Mr. Lepley looked at his wife. “Do you want to drive, or shall I?” He asked. They both raced from the bed and threw on their robes. Mr. Lepley grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter on the way to the garage. Now they both felt an urgency to see what was going on with Monica.

Chapter Twelve

2008-03-28T00:13:00.000-07:00

Dinner was spent in the dining hall. The food wasn’t as bad as Sara expected, and she was hoping she could get the courage to ask Tyler and his Dad about the things she had learned in the Bible.

Breakfast was served twenty four hours a day, and Sarah was glad. She loved eggs and sausage. She piled them high on her plate and joined the Williams men at a nearby table.

Tyler looked her plate over as she sat down. “You keep eating like that and you’ll gain the ‘freshman fifteen’ for sure.” He laughed and made room for her chocolate milk.

“What’s that? I’ve never heard of it.” Sarah said.

“It’s fifteen pounds college freshman are said to gain because they’re away from home and eat whatever they want. Mostly I guess it’s due to pizza places in college towns giving students discounts. Eating late at night will do it too. But I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you.” He smiled. “You’re a runner, right? You’ll work it off in no time.”

Sarah had never thought about what she ate before. She used her money as sparingly as she could, so her diet wasn’t varied much. She hadn’t really ever eaten vegetables or fruit, but since it was offered here and part of her tuition she would make an effort.

“Well, I think with all the choices here, I could add a few new things to my diet. And you’re right, I’ll probably run this off soon. But not tonight, I’m tired.” She stifled a yawn. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Mr. Williams offered to pray for their food, then asked Sarah to elaborate on her statement. “What time did you actually go to sleep?” He asked.

“Well, I guess it was around two in the morning or so.” She said sheepishly.

Mr. Williams glanced at Tyler. They had prayed for Sarah last night that God would reveal Himself to her. He hoped God had been working in her heart, and that soon she would be ready to talk about it.

“Were you afraid? Was anything wrong with your room at all?” He asked.

“No, nothing like that.” Sarah put down her fork, and lowered her eyes before continuing. “I have never been in a hotel in all my life. I took a nice long bath, and then planned to watch some TV.” She looked sheepish at the admittance. “I haven’t seen any TV for at least six years. I was just curious as to what was on, that’s all.”

Mr. Williams felt disappointed but didn’t let it show. He was hoping she would say she started thinking about God and had spent the better part of the night wondering about His place in her life. Well, it would all come in God’s timing.

“The problem is,” Sarah continued as she cut her sausage, “I couldn’t find the remote. I felt so relaxed after my bath that I didn’t want to get up from the bed. So I dug around in the drawer of the night stand and instead of a remote I found a Bible.” She took a bite of sausage and wondered if she should continue.

Mr. Williams cut in. “Did you get a chance to read anything? Maybe you have some questions.”

“Well, I’ve heard a lot about Jesus from a woman at the library where I work, and then you mentioned him again this weekend. I just wanted to know more about him. So I looked in the index in the back of the Bible and saw a passage that interested me. I found it but,” she wiped her mouth with her napkin, “since I never start in the middle of a book, I turned back to the beginning and started there.” She smiled uncertainly.

Mr. Williams and Tyler looked at each other in disbelief. They had hoped God would start to draw Sarah to Himself, but they never imagined she would turn it into a full blown course of study.

“I took notes and I do have some questions.” Sarah looked from Tyler’s face to his Dad’s. “That is, if that’s alright with you. If you don’t have time, or don’t want to...”

Tyler cut her off. “No, we definitely want to. We were just surprised is all. Now, let’s hear your thoughts. I’m really interested in what you have to say.”

Sarah straightened the paper she had brought from the hotel. She hastily looked over her notes. She had too many questions. She decided to ask only the ones that most concerned her.

“Well, I was reading in John, and on page 1117 Jesus has a conversation with a man named Nicodemus. Do you know what Jesus means about being born of water and of Spirit?”

Mr. Williams cleared his throat. Clearly, Sarah was a scholastic person. She had made notes with page references and had specific questions. “That passage of scripture, uh, the Bible, is a very good one for explaining Christ’s purpose on earth. It compares your physical, or water, birth with your spiritual birth, the birth that happens when you decide to become a child of God.”

Sarah was confused and took a sip of her chocolate milk to giver her mind a chance to think. She still didn’t understand. Would they think she was stupid? Should she ask more questions or just let it go? She decided to risk one more. “I was wondering, what did Nicodemus decide?”

Mr. Williams looked puzzled for a moment. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” He said.

Sarah looked at Mr. Williams. Maybe it was better to leave the subject. She didn’t really like being the focus of conversation. Both the men were looking intently at her, and she suddenly felt very exposed.

“Maybe you could just explain a little bit?” Mr. Williams asked kindly.

She took a deep breath and answered. “It’s just that the conversation ends with Jesus talking, and we never hear what Nicodemus decided. I was wondering if the Bible tells the rest of the story anywhere else.” Sarah turned her eyes to her plate.

It bothered Sarah that the Bible didn’t tell her everything. Like in the story with the woman taken in adultery, what did Jesus write in the sand? How did Jesus get those horrible men to walk away without having a physical fight? Sarah knew men that mistreated women were not so easily put off.

“The Bible doesn’t always fill in the blanks.” Mr. Williams began. “Sometimes we just need to trust God that He accomplished His purpose whether we understand it all or not.”

Sarah understood it all. It wasn’t a complicated story. What she didn’t know is why there were so many unanswered questions. She felt compelled to ask one more thing. “Didn’t God think it was important to tell people what Nicodemus decided?”

“That’s a very complicated question.” Mr. Williams said. He put down his fork and drew his napkin from his lap before placing it on his plate. “There are different schools of thought on the subject, and I honestly can’t say that I know what happened. I wasn’t there, and it isn’t mentioned in the Bible again.”

He looked at Sarah and smiled kindly again. “I think sometimes God leaves the blanks unfilled because He wants us to think for ourselves. He doesn’t want us to just follow what someone else has done, but base our decisions on the truth of His Word.”

Mr. Williams paused to form his next thought. “Try to think of it like this. If the Bible said that Nicodemus believed that Jesus was the Messiah and had accepted His words, would that influence you to do the same? Or if he decided not to believe, would that have influenced you not to?”

Sarah sat quiet, thinking. She could see his point. Other people’s choices did have the tendency to influence her, whether she realized it or not. Maybe God didn’t share what Nicodemus decided because He wanted people to believe in Jesus on His own merit, not just because someone else did.

“I think I understand now. Thank you.” Sarah rose slowly from her seat. “I’m going to take a look at the dessert case. Some of those cakes look pretty good.”

She walked quietly away from the table and went to the dessert counter. Tyler and his Dad looked at each other, both surprised at the conversation. Sarah asked some good questions, but did she even know what the Gospel was all about?

*****************

As she looked over the tempting choices in the dessert case, Sarah thought about the recent conversation. She shouldn’t decide to believe in Jesus because she liked Mrs. Lepley, or even because the Williams were nice people and she wanted to be like them, to care about people the way they did. She wasn’t sure what she believed about Jesus. If He had truly existed, then He was amazing.

The things He had done for other people, the healing, the comforting, the assurance that they weren’t alone. She longed for those things for herself. She wanted to believe that God loved her, that Jesus had really been compassionate and caring, but how could she know for sure that the Bible was true?

Sarah returned to the table with a piece of apple pie smothered with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. She followed their surprised gazes to her bowl. “I know I said the cakes looked good, but pie and ice cream won. Did you see they have like sixteen flavors of ice cream? There’s a whole table of toppings too.”

That was all the encouragement the men needed. They both excused themselves and made a beeline for the dessert case. Moments later they each returned with their own concoctions.

“I plan to enjoy every bite of this.” Mr. Williams said of his chocolate cake drowning in chocolate and marshmallow sauce. “Tyler, you just don’t tell your Mother how poorly I’ve eaten this weekend. She might never let me go away without her again!”

They laughed, and Tyler promised not to tell. Then he spoke to Sarah. “You know, Dad and I were planning to check out a church in the area and were wondering if you’d like to join us. We’ll be leaving campus shortly after nine tomorrow. Wanna come?”

Sarah let the creamy caramel coat her tongue, and swallowed before answering. “Yes,” she said. “I think I would like that very much.”

Maybe tomorrow she would find out the answers to her questions. She’d never been to church before, and the thought excited her. She smiled to herself. Even if it turned out to be dull and weird, at least she’d get to wear one of her new dresses.

Chapter Eleven

2008-03-28T00:12:00.000-07:00

Monica was stunned into silence. The Lepleys were quiet as well, but Monica was sure they were familiar with Tim’s story. What a horrible thing to have happen at such a young age. Tim talked about it with calm, but it was mingled with regret.

“See, I had never used a gun before,” Tim continued. “It looked so easy on TV and in the movies. I was unprepared for the kick. It knocked me to the floor and I hit my head. I was dizzy for a few minutes before I realized what had happened. By that time Katie was lying in a pool of blood. I ran to call 9-1-1. Katie was unconscious and pale. It was such close range that she didn’t have a chance. I never saw her alive again."

Tim shook his head with the memory and lifted his right hand to emphasize his point. “My parents blamed themselves, of course. My Mother would say over and over that if only she had been there it wouldn’t have happened. My Father felt guilty that he couldn’t provide everything we needed, and that it was his fault my Mother had to work in the first place. It silently drove a wedge between them. Neither blaming the other, but just being unable to forgive themselves.

“They also withdrew from me. For the next three years, every time my Mother looked at me she would start crying. I had no way of knowing why, so I assumed she was upset because I was the one who had pulled the trigger. I found out years later it was because the guilt she carried was so intense.

“Since they had pushed the Lord aside years earlier they had no place to find real comfort. And neither did I. The guilt I carried was enormous, and eventually led to my drug use.”

Monica understood the feeling of struggling with guilt. Her depression in the past from having the abortion had led to the breakdown of her marriage and her own reliance on drugs to cope. Monica thought for a moment about how many hours it had been since her last hit. It had actually been almost twenty four hours. She could feel the anxiety building inside, especially as she relived her past through her memories.

“So how did you finally overcome your addiction? For me, the cocaine keeps the depression away. It wipes away the mistakes I’ve made in the past, and makes me feel good. I don’t know how I can stop using it.”

Monica was totally honest. She knew she had God now, but there was a physical addiction she had to work through.

“That’s a great question. And I appreciate your honesty. It will help you recover more quickly.” Tim thought a moment before continuing. His blue eyes accepted the challenge of her question, and danced with the anticipation of his reply.

“I want to ask you a question, Monica. How do you feel after the high wears off? If you answer honestly, I’m sure you would say that the problems of your past are the first things you think of. They are constantly on your mind, driving you to use again. Am I right?”

Monica had never really stopped to think about it before, but Tim was right. The cocaine offered her a temporary escape from her past. When she came down, she was sure her parents, or her ex-husband would be waiting outside to cart her off to jail for the things she had done. Countless times she had also envisioned Sarah coming back to kill her in her sleep.

”Yes, you’re absolutely right. And I imagine all the people I’ve hurt coming back to get revenge. I never imagined my life would end up like this.” Monica looked down at her plate, then pushed it away. She had absolutely no appetite.

“I thought so.” Tim said. “It was the same for me. When I was high I would have all kinds of conversations with Katie, we could go anywhere and do anything. I would see her whole, like the past had never happened. But when the high wore off, the vision of her lying in that pool of blood wouldn’t leave me. Any time I blinked, or closed my eyes, there she was. It was awful.”

“So, what happened to cure you?” Monica asked, her eyes hopeful.

“I met Jesus.” Tim had peace on his face, and an unspoken happiness that radiated at the mention of his Savior. “I was well on my way to killing myself with drugs and alcohol. I had dropped out of school and was living with one of my friends above his parents’ garage.

“One night they came home from a church meeting they had attended with the Dad’s sister. I could tell right away something was different with them. They sat both of us down and explained all about Jesus and how they had given their lives to Him. They said Jesus forgave everything you’d ever done or could ever do. That it was the whole point of why He came to earth.

“They said they wanted more for us, and that there was a better way to deal with the past than using. Their faces held such hope, and they spoke with such excitement, that it made me curious. We stayed up half that night talking with them, and I received Christ as my Savior. After that I went through detox. But it has been my faith in Christ that has kept me sober.”

Tim turned and spoke directly to Monica. “See, I figured out that Jesus had forgiven my past. And it was Satan that kept bringing it to my memory, and using it to keep me in slavery. When I realized how he was using me, it was easier to give it up to the Lord. I’m not saying it was a magic formula for an overnight recovery, but it was definitely key.”

Monica nodded. She could see now how she had let Satan manipulate and puppet her. She regretted it, and looked forward to the beginning of her recovery.

“What can you tell me about this Recovery ministry you have?” Monica was truly interested. If Tim’s addiction had been anything like her own, then there was great hope for her.

“Celebrate Recovery is a ministry started by Saddleback Church that helps people get over their hurts, habits and hang-ups by showing them the loving power of Jesus Christ through a recovery process. The steps to recovery are founded in the words of Christ Himself from His sermon on the mount.

“Many churches are full of people who are battling addictions of every kind, but no one willing to help. Sin is sin, no matter what the issue is, though some people don’t seem to believe that. It’s just easier to act like people with addictions don’t exist than to try and help.”

Monica had never experienced that in a church setting, but she had surely seen it over and again on the streets. How she had managed to keep a part-time job and not lose the house entirely was only the absolute grace of God. Well, she would work harder to make sure she didn’t lose it.

Tim looked at the Lepleys before continuing. “We have some great people here in Orrville who are understanding and supportive, and that helps our ministry be successful. But I must admit in the beginning it was difficult. If Hank weren’t on the Deacon Board and such a prayer warrior, we surely would’ve never survived our first month.”

Monica looked over at Hank who was ducking his head in embarrassment. “It has nothing to do with me at all,” Hank began. “It was all the Lord. He wanted that ministry here. He knew we needed it. I just asked Him to help it along is all.” He excused himself to take his dish to the kitchen.

Tim cocked his head to the side and smiled at Mrs. Lepley. “You know, there’s a shortage of humble men in this world. I bet you count yourself blessed.”

“Oh indeed. I worked in the medical field long enough to know pride is as much a part of the male psyche as stink to a skunk.” She pointed her finger at Tim. “That’s for sure!”

They all laughed together, and when it was quiet again Tim spoke. “Now, I have shared a little about my past, and how my addiction came to be. Now I would like to know a bit more about you, Monica, so I can best know how to help you.”

So Monica spent the next hour telling all the horrid things from her past. Not specific sins or people, but the truth of what she had allowed herself to become under the influence of cocaine. She spoke generally of Sarah, but didn’t mention her name. Monica wept while she spoke and when she was done, she felt relived. Instead of feeling worried that these people would judge her, she knew they only wanted God’s best for her. That was an encouraging thing.

After taking in her story, Tim was ready to make a recommendation. “Well, as hard as this will be to say, I think your best chance of recovery is to break all ties to this area. Your whole life has been here, and it may be very difficult for you to deal with people during the recovery process. We all know how small towns can be. And as wonderful a place as Orrville is, I just don’t think it will be healthy for you to be here.

“I have a friend who runs a wonderful program in Tennessee. It’s a secluded place where you can draw closer to God, and learn to serve others in stead of taking advantage of and using people. They have a wonderful reputation, and I think it would be ideal. Of course, we would still be available for support, should you desire it. What would you say to that?”

Monica had to think for a moment. Never had she imagined she would have to leave the only town she’d ever known. Doubts crept in. Would the Lord ask such a hard thing right off the bat? Shouldn’t He sort of work His way up to something that difficult? But she had told the Lord she wanted to be obedient. And she trusted the Lepleys, and Tim, to guide her in the best way. They had been so kind. Surely it must be the right thing.

“You know, perhaps I could use a fresh start. Although I must admit the idea has me terrified, I know it is something I need. I told the Lord tonight that I wanted to be obedient, and that I would need His help and strength to do it. If you think it’s the right thing, well, then I do too.” Monica felt peace flood her. The Lord was with her and would guide her. Every step she took toward recovery was a step closer to Him.

She spoke again. “And I think maybe keeping the house isn’t such a good idea. What if I decided to leave the program and come back here to continue my habit? If I sell the house, and cut all ties to this place, then I will have nowhere to run away to. I could start over, make a new life for myself." She paused and thought for a moment. "It’s actually becoming a very attractive idea.” Monica placed her elbows on the table and rested her face in her hands.

“Well, you don’t need to make any decisions like that tonight.” Mrs. Lepley said as she gathered the remaining dishes. “Although if that’s what you want to do, we’ll help you in any way we can. You know Hank’s in real estate.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. How interesting.” Suddenly Monica saw things falling into place. But if she were going to sell the house, there was plenty of work to be done.

Chapter Ten

2008-03-28T00:11:00.000-07:00

Sarah walked from the bathroom snuggled up in the robe and slippers provided. She make a quick stop by the kitchenette to grab a snack, then made herself comfy on the bed. The bath had been wonderful. She hadn’t ever been in a whirlpool tub before, but she was thinking it would be a wonderful treat to come home and be able to soak after a long run. Her whole body felt relaxed.

Although she probably couldn’t stay awake much longer, Sarah wanted to watch some TV. She had been looking forward to it all evening. She wanted to see what she had been missing. She looked at the bedside table for the remote, but it wasn’t there.

She opened the drawer thinking it might be there, but instead her eyes landed on a Gideon’s Bible. Snippets of recent conversations with the Williamses came to mind. She had wanted to know more about the Jesus they talked about. Surely the Bible would have some answers.

She didn’t know where to begin to find anything about Jesus, but all her years of hiding out, then working in the library had given her the simple knowledge of how to use a book. She turned to the index in the back and looked for Jesus’ name.

There were many entries. One in particular caught her eye. It said ‘Jesus and the woman taken in adultery’, John 8. Sarah knew nothing of the Bible, but any well-organized book would have a table of contents, or the equivalent, in the front. So she turned there next to find out where John 8 was.

It began on page 1114. She turned there, then flipped page by page until she found chapter eight. Sarah began reading and realized she was coming into the middle of a story. Jesus was teaching in the temple again, this said. That means he must have taught there before. Sarah hated starting in the middle of a book, so she stopped what she was reading and went back to the beginning of John, to page 1114. She had a lot of reading to do before bed if she were to catch up to chapter eight.

****************

Sarah woke with a start as her head lolled to the side. She looked over at the clock on the night stand. It was 2:30 AM. She grabbed the Bible and placed it back in the drawer. Then she removed the towel from her head, took off the robe and dressed in her pajamas. She climbed into the downy softness of her bed after setting the alarm for five thirty. Only three hours of sleep. She hoped it would be enough.

*****************

The alarm startled her from a sound sleep. Sarah rubbed her eyes before turning it off. What a wonderful sleep she’d had. Never before had she felt so comfortable and safe. She hated the thought of getting out of bed. But her future was waiting.

She got herself up and dressed in some of the clothes she had purchased for the trip. She wanted to look nice, but not dressy, so she decided not to wear on of her new dresses. Instead she opted for jeans and a shirt/sweater combo. She did have a skirt she could wear with it if she felt underdressed. She ran a brush through her hair and cleaned her teeth. She didn’t want to take too long, because she was hoping to have a bit more time to read in that Bible.

The things she had read about Jesus were incredible. He cared about every person He came in contact with. She had read about the wedding in Cana where He made water into wine, His conversation with Nicodemus, His dealings with the Samaritan woman, the healing of the nobleman’s son, the healing of the leper…the list went on and on.

It had taken her about three hours to get back to chapter eight, but then she had fallen asleep. She wanted to read that story so badly. She pulled out the Bible and turned to chapter eight in the book of John. She’d had the sense to stick a tissue in the spot before closing the book last night.

As Sarah read, she couldn’t believe the men that brought the woman to Jesus. How could they be so cruel as to humiliate her like that? And then demand that she be killed? The thought was beyond Sarah’s understanding. She looked away from the book and rolled her eyes in anger. “Just like men. Blame the woman and let the man involved go unpunished.”

Though she was angry, she kept reading. Sarah liked the way Jesus dealt with jerks. He ignored them and did what He had to do. She wished she knew what Jesus wrote in the dirt. It must have been something good, because after He did it again, they all left.

Jesus was so kind. He didn’t condemn the woman. He spoke to her alone, and told her to go and sin no more. What happened to the woman after that? Did anyone think she was guilty? Did the men try to hurt her again?

Though the story didn’t continue, Sarah saw that the next part of the chapter was in red, the words of Jesus. Since she was interested in finding more about Him, she decided to see what He had to say.

*******************

A knock on her door roused her from her reading. There never seemed to be enough time! Sarah had been reading for about an hour, and had decided to take the notebook from the table and write down her questions. Maybe sometime this weekend Tyler and his Dad would have time to answer them. Jesus was really amazing.

Sarah shut the book and placed it back in the drawer. She quickly grabbed her things from the bathroom and stuffed them in her bag, along with the remaining drinks and snacks from the kitchenette. After slinging her bag over her shoulder, she opened the door.

Tyler and his Dad were there with their stuff, ready to go. Tyler looked nice in a golf shirt and khaki pants, and Mr. Williams was sporting similar clothing. Sarah wondered if her jeans were out of place, and asked the men. They both assured her she looked great, and she felt more at ease. Tyler asked if he could use her bathroom quickly, and he went in with his bag. He emerged a few moments later in jeans.

“Well, I didn’t want you to think you were out of place, so I changed too. Jeans are much more comfortable to me anyway. Now you have nothing to worry about.” He smiled at her and when he passed to leave the room, their shoulders brushed against each other.

“Sorry.” Sarah said. But she wasn’t. She liked Tyler, and the way he made her feel. He was nice, and he cared about her. Just like Jesus cared about people. Tyler’s Dad was the same way. She had never met people who were so open and interested in what she had to say. She would definitely have to make time to ask them about what she had found in the Bible.

*****************

They arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare, and had a quick breakfast. Sarah chose to eat the snacks she packed from her room. Mr. Williams offered to buy her breakfast, but she declined. They’d done too much for her already.

The flight was smooth and quick. Since they had all only packed carry-on bags there was no wait for luggage. Mr. Williams had taken the time last night while Sarah and Tyler were walking to call and inform the college of the change in their schedule. Someone should be waiting to pick them up and drive them to the campus.

They followed the crowd from the plane to the baggage claim, watching for the college representative. A man who was casually dressed was holding a sign in front of him that read Dale College. So, they all headed in that direction.

After brief introductions they made their way outside to the van. “Make yourselves comfortable. We’ve got almost an hour drive. Maybe longer depending on traffic. I think you’ll enjoy the things planned for the day, and hopefully you’re all well rested from your overnight. It’s going to be a busy weekend.” The college rep was a pleasant young man who worked in the admissions office.

The drive there was beautiful. Every curve in the road led to more beautiful views. Once they were getting closer to the college, the mountains were clearly visible in the distance. Sarah couldn’t wait to have the time and explore them. Running through the mountains would be awesome.

The entrance to the college was off the parkway just across from Hemlock St. It was a beautiful area, and the entrance to the National Park was just over a mile down the road to the south. The high tourist level in downtown Gatlinburg made sure things stayed fun for the students. Most of it was family oriented, and there were tons of different shops to look through. Of course, if one was diligent they could find more questionable night life, but for the most part it was a family place.

The buildings on campus were situated close together, with the dorms being on the far side of the property. With only 1,000 students the campus seemed intimate. Each class was to have only ten to fifteen students, so each was guaranteed personal attention should they need it.

Sarah was quite taken with the quiet atmosphere. The students were going about their business, seemingly unaware that new students had arrived on campus. The first stop were the dorms. Then off to a meeting with the dean, select faculty, and students in their respective chosen majors. Tyler and Sarah parted ways, promising to meet up for dinner.

******************

The day seemed to fly by. Everyone was more than friendly, and Sarah was convinced she had made the right decision regarding college. The professors were knowledgeable yet approachable. The students she met seemed not only satisfied from the education offered them, but confident in their field. She could hardly wait to start her own time at Dale.

Chapter Nine

2008-03-28T00:10:00.000-07:00

Monica tried to rein in her thoughts. All she had to do was talk to God. She used to do it all the time. In her other life. The life where she had been a normal part of society.

She looked around. There were a few other pairs, all talking in hushed tones. Some were crying like she had been. Others had determined looks set on their faces. But they were all here for a reason, they needed God.

Monica closed her eyes and began to speak quietly out loud. “God, I know I don’t deserve to have you hear me. I know I have been rebellious, stubborn and proud. I have hurt everyone close to me, and they all probably hate me.” She paused as memories of her past sin flashed in rapid succession before her eyes. Shame filled her, and regret pierced her heart.

Monica knelt in front of the bench, laid her head on her arms, and wept. How would they ever forgive her? All the horrible things she had allowed into her life; the depression, the drugs, the men. Nothing should have been more important than her relationship with God. Yet she had pushed Him away.

She had been a horrific Mother. She had violated Sarah’s innocence and now who knew where she was or what she was doing. Monica knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness. She didn’t deserve to live.

“Oh, God please forgive me! I have been a fool. I should have listened to my parents when they tried to help me. I should never have aborted my baby…” Sobs wracked her body. But she had to continue. Her voice was now hoarse from crying and came out in a whisper.

“God, I have made one bad choice after another. I have abused my body with drugs, alcohol, and relationships with men. Please cleanse me. I need you desperately! What a mess I have made of my life, and my daughter’s life.

“Oh, my Sarah! She took care of me and the house when I should have been taking care of her. Oh, God have I ruined her life as well as my own? Please, please forgive me for being so selfish and horrible. For not being the Mother I should have been. Please heal her from the past.

“Jesus, please take care of Sarah. Please protect her. Let her know You love her, and that it’s the most important thing in the world. Oh, God I am so ashamed! I want to obey You. I want to have a relationship with You like I used to. I surrender to whatever You will have me to do, no matter how hard. I need Your strength. Thank you for loving me and bringing me back to you. Help me to not turn back to my own ways. I don’t deserve Your love, but I am so thankful and humbled. I love You Jesus. Amen.”

Monica sat with her eyes closed for a moment longer. She could feel God’s love. It felt good to confess those things from her past. Her heart had peace she hadn’t experienced in years. She felt light, like a huge burden she didn’t know was weighing her down had been removed. Monica started laughing quietly.

She got to her feet, brushed off her skirt where it had touched the ground, and looked for Joyce Lepley. She was still under the tree, right where she said she would be. There was also a man with her, and they were talking quietly. When they saw Monica approach, they turned to her and smiled.

“How are you Dear? Did you get everything worked out with the Lord?” Joyce asked.

Monica wiped beneath each eye with her index fingers. “I must look a mess. But it’s the first time in years I haven’t felt like one. I think this has been a turning point for me, Joyce. I know the Lord is with me, and I know I’m ready to start over.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that, Monica.” Joyce gestured to the man standing next to her. “This is Tim Hart. He is the man who heads up our Celebrate Recovery ministry. It’s for people who are, or have been addicts. I wasn’t sure how you were doing, but I thought it would be helpful to introduce the two of you. Tim has been through some of the same things you’ve shared with me, and I am sure his ministry would be a blessing to you.”

Monica looked at the man. He seemed decent enough. A person wouldn’t look at him and think he had once been an addict. But she would never have looked at herself years ago and thought she would have become one either.

“Hi, Monica. If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk with you about our ministry and some possible ways we can help you. Joyce has generously offered her home this evening for us to meet in if you have the time. If not,” he reached into his coat and pulled out a small card, “here’s my business card. My home and work phone numbers are there, as well as my e-mail address. Feel free to contact me any time.”

Monica read the card. It didn’t say what he did for a living, just the name of the ministry and his contact information. She looked at Tim again, then Joyce. “Well,” she shrugged, I don’t have anything planned. But I walked here. Would one of you be able to take me home after the meeting is finished?”

Monica was in no hurry to see if Joe was still at her house. Though she had called 9-1-1 to report a disturbance, they wouldn’t arrest him for being noisy. They had probably just told him to move on. But he would be back.

“Absolutely, Honey.” Joyce said, patting her shoulder. “Don’t you worry about a thing. This is an important night for you. God’s starting to work His plan, and we want to let Him work while you’re still softened to His call. Now, I’ll just go round up Mr. Lepley, well you can call him Hank, and then we can be on our way.”

Joyce disappeared into the tent. Monica suddenly felt self-conscious. She fiddled with the ribbon that decorated the waist of her dress. What should she say? Tim had a pleasant face, but was he up for small talk? Monica decided to let him be the first to speak.

“Have you lived in Orrville all your life?” Tim asked after a moment.

“Yes. I was born at Dunlap Memorial Hospital, went to Maple Street Elementary School, then graduated from the High School. My whole life has been here. What about you?” Monica smiled. She was relived he had started a conversation.

“No. I just moved here about six years ago. I’m from upstate New York. The place where I worked was downsizing, and I was laid off. The company offered me a good severance package, so I decided to take the opportunity to come down and see my parents. They died three years ago, and I’ve taken over their old place.

“At first I thought about remodeling it then selling and moving on, but just couldn’t do it. I don’t know, maybe I’ll settle down here for good. The Lord knows, and until He moves me, this is where I’ll be.”

The Lepleys walked up then, and after a brief chat decided Monica would join them in their car.

*******************

The short ride to their home was pleasant. The Lepleys were good people, sweet and helpful. Monica quickly felt comfortable with them both. Joyce’s friendliness had been a big reason Monica hadn’t just turned around and left before the service started. She had a lot of questions for Tim, and she hoped he would offer advice that would help her, not just some trite, pat answers she could get from a fortune cookie.

Once inside, Joyce made herself busy in the kitchen fixing a small snack, as she called it. To Monica it was more food than she normally consumed in one sitting. Joyce made ham sandwiches, pulled out some macaroni salad, chips, soda, and cake.

They were all seated comfortably around the table, and Hank blessed the food. While plates were being filled Monica started her questions.

“So, Tim, can you tell me why you’re qualified to give advice to people in my situation? Is there drug abuse history in your past? You look pretty put together now.” Monica picked up her sandwich and took a bite, even though she wasn’t really hungry. She was still feeling the effects of her recent reunion with the Lord. And she was starting to feel the need for a fix. But she tried to push that from her mind.

“ I can see you waste no time with formalities. I like that.” Tim put his fork down and crossed his arms on the table so he could lean on them. “Let me start at the beginning. I did not grow up in a Christian home. Both my parents had, but for whatever reason they turned their back on faith and church.

“My Father was a business man and had very little time for me and my sister. My Mother worked as well, and we were latch key kids from the time I was in third grade.”

Monica interrupted. “Sorry, latch key kids? What does that mean?”

Tim explained. “Well, my parents both worked, so after school my sister and I would come home and be alone for two or three hours, depending on when my Mother could leave work. We had a neighbor who kept an eye on us for her, but we were in the house alone and responsible for ourselves. From third grade through graduation I had a lot of time to myself away from my parents. That’s one thing that led to my involvement with drugs.”

Monica nodded her head in understanding. She had been home when Sarah was young, but Sarah had been responsible for herself, much like Tim’s situation. Only Sarah was left alone because of her Mother’s addiction. Shame washed over Monica again, and she struggled to push it aside. “Please, go on.” She said.

“Well,’ Tim began again, “it’s bound to happen sooner or later that when kids are left alone they’ll get into trouble. When I was eleven years old, I had a real fascination with cowboys. John Wayne in particular. I used to love to watch those old black and white westerns, and pretend to catch the bad guys. My sister, Katie would play with me. She was always the bad guy, because I wanted to be the hero.

“One day after school we decided it would be fun to get Dad’s rifle out of the case in the family room and pretend to be cowboys for real. I was eleven and Katie was eight. Everything was fine until Katie had the idea of pretending to steal money from the bank and hiding out. She wanted me to find her.”

Tim’s voice took on a heavy tone as he continued with the story. His face became more drawn and serious. He exhaled deeply before continuing.

“So, Katie went and hid while I got the gun. I searched through the house but I couldn’t find her. I looked in every room. Just as I was about to give up, she jumped out from the hall closet. Scared me to death. My finger had been on the trigger and it was just a gut reaction to pull it. I shot her in the stomach and she died within the hour from loss of blood.”

Chapter Eight

2008-03-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

The hotel was just across the street and a little way up the block. It wasn’t far but Tyler’s father insisted they take a cab. He wouldn’t hear of them getting colds because of the rain. So, they had taken a cab less than two blocks. Sarah was glad. Although she loved being outside, she didn’t love being in wet clothes. She hadn’t realized how sound proof the airport had been.

The rain was falling in sheets at a diagonal. The wind whipped the stop lights at angles that made Sarah think any minute they would fly off the wires and come crashing to the ground. The sky alternated every few minutes between lighting flashing and thunder cracking. It was definitely a powerful storm, and Sarah was glad they weren’t in a plane this evening.

When they arrived at the front of the hotel, the doorman held open the entrance door. The cab had parked under an awning in a drive-around area used to pick up and drop off passengers. Sarah grabbed her bag and stepped from the cab. She breathed deeply of the cool, damp air before going inside.

Mr. Williams paid the driver, then nodded a greeting to the doorman while thanking him for holding the door. He and Tyler stepped into the lobby and walked up to the front desk.

"May I help you, Sir?" Asked a young blonde woman. She couldn't have been much older than Tyler and herself, Sarah thought. Her name tag read 'Tina'. She gave Tyler a flirty smile, and Sarah felt herself bristle. Didn’t this girl know what men were like? They definitely didn’t need encouragement in that area. She tried to watch Tyler’s reaction out of the corner of her eye.

Tyler returned the flirtatious gesture with a weak smile. The young woman watched as Tyler turned away and walked over to where Sarah was standing. He took Sarah's bag from her and slung it over his shoulder. "Let me hold that for you while we wait." Sarah nodded and thanked him. Maybe he wasn’t like most guys. She didn’t dare look back at the girl behind the counter.

The young woman's attention was pulled back to Mr. Williams as he took out his credit card and signed for the rooms. When he was finished he led Tyler and Sarah to the elevators. Only then did Sarah allow herself a peek at ‘Tina’. There was a definite look of rejection on her face. Sarah felt bad for her, but smiled a little inside. There was definitely something different about Tyler.

“Ok,” Mr. Williams said, “our rooms are on the third floor. There’s a door that adjoins them, so if you need anything in the night, Sarah, you just knock and we’ll be right there to help you. And don’t worry, there’s a lock on your side so we can’t just come in unannounced.”

Sarah was relieved to hear that. One they were upstairs, she planned to spend the evening relaxing in the tub, then watching everything she could find on tv. She hadn’t watched tv in years. She didn’t even know what shows were on any more. The elevator arrived at their floor, and Mr. Williams led them to their rooms.

“Well, guess I’ll see you in the morning.” Tyler held out Sarah’s bag to her, and their hands brushed as she took it from him. Sarah was surprised at the feeling it caused in her. She glanced up at him and smiled meekly.

“Yeah, I’ll, uh, see you in the morning.” She took her key from Mr. Williams and walked into her room.

*****************

Sarah couldn’t believe how nice it was. She knew it would be way better than her little place at the library, but this? Wow. This was luxury. She had never stayed in a hotel before, and never expected her room to be anything like this. She stood for a few moments and drank in the comfort.

The colors were so warm and inviting. She quickly put down her bag in the small closet off the entryway and hung up her jacket. She kicked off her shoes as well and placed them neatly in the closet before closing the door. She wanted to go over every inch of this room so she wouldn’t miss a thing.

Sarah found herself facing in a small sitting area with a couch and a wingback chair placed so whomever sat on them could comfortably watch the tv in the corner cupboard. There was a coffee table in front of the couch that held magazines and the hotel informational folder. There were also a few brochures for local restaurants and places of interest.

Sarah walked to the couch and sat on it for a moment. She flipped through the brochures, not really looking at them. She just wanted the experience. She glanced at the side table which housed a telephone, a notepad with the hotel’s name on it, and a small lamp.
Sarah ran her hand over the soft material of the couch. She leaned back into the plush cushions and let herself be swallowed up in the moment. She relaxed a few moments, and then was overcome with curiosity about the rest of her room.

Across from the living area was a small counter complete with microwave above and mini-fridge beneath. A tiny sink was to the right of the microwave. Sarah opened the door of the fridge and saw it was stocked with juices and bottles of water. The cupboard above the tiny sink had a few packs of popcorn and some peanut butter crackers. She wasn’t hungry, but she might stick them in her bag for the weekend, if they were free.

Along the same wall to the right of this kitchenette was a locked dark wood door, much like the one she used to enter her room. Sarah knew it must be the door that connected her room with the Williams’. She turned directly around and faced a mirrored door. Surely it must be the bathroom. She was turning the knob, ready to check out the tub when her room phone rang.

Sarah crossed the plush carpeting and sat on the couch, leaning over the arm of it to answer. “Hello?” she said a little warily.

“Hey Sarah, sorry to bother you so soon after settling in.” It was Tyler. “Dad said to help yourself to the stuff in the fridge and the cupboards. It’s all included with the room. Uh, I hope you sleep well. If you need anything at all, just knock on the wood door next to your kitchen area. We can be there in a heartbeat.” He paused as if trying to think of something else to say and coming up with nothing. “Well, good night.”

“Thanks, Tyler. I’ll knock if I need anything. Good night to you too.” Sarah looked at the ceiling and hoped she wouldn’t sound dumb. “And please tell your Dad this is the nicest place I’ve ever been. I mean it. I’ve never seen such soft, pretty things. Or had my own bathroom. You guys have been so nice to me. I will never forget this. Ever.”

“It’s what Christians do, Sarah. We help when there’s a need, and we do our best to lead people to Jesus, so they can know Him and His love for themselves. That’s something you won’t ever forget. I hope you sleep well. We have a big weekend ahead of us. Good night.”

“Yeah, good night Tyler.” Sarah slowly hung up the phone. There was the mention of Jesus again. Just like Mrs. Lepley had shared with her that day at the library. Well, if being in this place and spending time with these people was a result of Jesus being in their lives, then maybe there was something to it after all.

Sarah rose from the couch and walked back to the bathroom door. It stood ajar now and she pushed it the rest of the way open. She couldn’t believe it. There was a full size whirlpool tub, a fluffy robe hanging on a hook next to it with slippers underneath, and six large bath towels folded neatly on the shelf above the toilet.

On the side of the tub there was a small dish that held various shampoos and soaps. Sarah opened and smelled them all. It would be hard to decide which to use in her bath, though she was partial to lavender. Every bit of this room was neat as a pin. Not one hint of mold or mildew in any of the tile grout. It was spic and span. Gorgeous.

The counter by the sink was equally nice. It ran the whole length of the wall, and looked like marble. There were tissues, a small container with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a shower cap. There was a dish similar to the one on the side of the tub holding lotions and powders with matching scents. In the corner nearest the door there was a radio with a CD player. Sarah walked to the middle of the room and did a three-sixty. Yes, every detail had been taken care of.
Even the first piece of toilet paper was folded neatly to a point.

When she had seen everything there was to see, Sarah decided it was time to check out the bedroom. She left the bathroom and turned right. The bedroom had it’s own door with a lock on it. She was glad of that.

Her bed, a queen size with six pillows and an overstuffed comforter, was beckoning to her. It was centered on the wall to her right, and a painting of lilies was centered above it. Sarah took a few steps back, then ran toward it and jumped into the middle. She landed on her stomach and sunk down into the softness.

On a bed like this she could sleep for a hundred years! It was probably a good thing she didn’t have a nice bed. She would never get up in time for school. Sarah rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She let her eyes follow the pattern left in the plaster. She laced her fingers over her stomach and took a deep breath.

So many things to think about. Tyler, for one. Was he interested in her? He was very nice. Why had she felt a twinge of jealousy with that ‘Tina’ downstairs? They would never see her again, yet she felt like she had to put her claim on Tyler. It was ridiculous. She didn’t even know him. He was the quarterback of the football team, and he probably had lots of girls who were after him. Why should he like Sarah? She wasn’t anything special. And she didn’t believe in Jesus like Tyler did.

Her thoughts moved to Jesus. He seemed to be everywhere recently. It was who Mrs. Lepley prayed to, and who Mr. Williams and Tyler said they obeyed. Sarah had heard of Jesus, but didn’t really know anything about Him. Did He really love all people the way he loved the Williams? He had given them a nice life, and they seemed like they were happy. But did Jesus love people like her? People who had been abused, neglected and unloved by their own parents, and used by men?

Sarah felt dirty. She knew the things that had happened to her had been wrong, but she hadn’t really had a choice. Did that matter to Jesus? Maybe it was her fault those things happened.

Sarah sat up on the bed and let her legs dangle over the side. She walked to the large window and looked out over the traffic. Lights from far away buildings twinkled in the dark. Lightning continued to flash and thunder cracked, though it was happening less often. The storm was fading, and that was a good thing. Sarah just wished the storm of her thoughts would calm.

She glanced at the clock on the bureau. It was already eight o’clock. If she were going to take a long bath she should get to it.

Chapter Seven

2008-03-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

Joyce Lepley returned to her seat just as the worship leader greeted the people and asked them to stand and sing. She looked over at Monica and patted her hand. “I sure am glad you decided to join us.” Mrs. Lepley whispered, then joined in with the others in song.

Monica, of course, didn’t know the song. So she stood and listened politely. The next song was an old hymn, and the words worked their way out of the recesses of her memory.

This time though, instead of singing them out of habit, she really listened to the words. She had to stop singing because she was in awe of how the words spoke straight to her heart.

“Hallelujah, what a Saviour! Hallelujah what a Friend! Saving, helping, keeping, loving, He is with me to the end.”

Thoughts of the day flashed through her mind of how Jesus had been speaking to her. He had given her the strength to leave when Joe could have stopped her from coming, He had lovingly comforted her when she felt out of place her, and He was indeed still her Saviour, though she had let herself drift far away from Him.

By the time the preaching started, Monica’s heart had been softened, and she drank up every word. The scriptures the Pastor used, again, pierced her heart and seemed as though they had been planned with her in mind.

“I know last night I shared how a person can join God’s family,” the Pastor began. “How one can leave the family of the Devil and join God’s family. The message I had planned for tonight was to be the next step, if you will. But it will have to wait for another time. I felt pressed by the Holy Spirit of God this afternoon to change my message.

“The Spirit led me to the Psalms. My message tonight is focused on the believer who has separated himself from God through sin, or because of suffering and disappointment in his life. If you have your Bible turn with me to Psalm 4. I’ll read the full text.”

The topic for the sermon immediately grabbed Monica’s attention, though she hadn’t brought a Bible. Now that she thought of it, she wasn’t even sure if she had one. Joyce Lepley leaned over and handed Monica her own Bible turned to the right passage. She smiled as though nothing in the world made her as happy as letting Monica have her Bible.

The Pastor’s strong baritone voice read the scripture with feeling, and Monica hung on every word. Her own thoughts punctuated each verse.

“To the chief Musician on Neginoth, A Psalm of David. Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.” God had done that today and helped Monica get to the meeting on time, and sober. She had definitely been stressed at the time.

“O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.” Monica had turned the glory of the Lord to shame. She hadn’t communicated with Him in years. She had shut Him out when she had probably needed Him most. She had loved vanity. Isn’t that what her addiction was all about?

“But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him.” Monica certainly wasn’t godly, and didn’t deserve for God to hear her when she called. She wasn’t ‘set apart’. But she thought maybe she wanted to be.

“Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.” Yes, Monica was in awe. God had definitely spoken to her through this service. She would be still and know He was God. She would determine not to sin.

“Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.” Yes, Monica would try her best to live right from now on. She wanted to trust in the Lord, and not in the feelings the cocaine gave her. Look where it had gotten her.

Somewhere Monica had a daughter who had run away from home to avoid the abuses Monica herself had brought upon her. Oh, how ashamed she felt! She looked around, sure someone could read the thoughts in her mind, and sense the guilt pumping through her heart.

The Pastor continued. “There be many that say, Who will show us any good? LORD, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.” The only good could come from the Lord, of that Monica was now convinced. Since He began speaking to her this afternoon, she had never felt such calmness, such peace. Monica desired His countenance to shine upon her and heal her from the awful life she had created for herself.

“Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.” More than any physical blessing, Monica desired to have the gladness she remembered from her childhood. She wanted the peace she had seen in her parents’ marriage.

Her parents. She hadn’t thought of them, or spoken to them since shortly after the abortion. She wondered what they were doing now. They sent cards for Christmas and her birthday, so she knew where they lived. She wasn’t surprised they had retired in Tennessee. Her Father had been raised there and had always talked about going back someday.

The commanding baritone of the Pastor nudged her back into the present. “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.” Monica wanted that. She wanted to dwell in safety. She wanted to lay peacefully in her bed at night without thinking about when she would get her next fix.

Monica was tired of worrying about who might show up at her house to claim money she owed them. She just wanted to be able to rest in the arms of the Lord, and let Him be her strength. She was tired of this life.

The Pastor led the people in prayer. Monica was still so caught up in her own thoughts that the prayer and the rest of the sermon blurred by. She only came to herself when Joyce Lepley touched her arm so she could pass to the aisle.

The closing song, again, was one Monica remembered from her childhood church. The words touched her, and she began to weep.

“Come every soul by sin oppressed, there’s mercy with the Lord. And He will surely give you rest by trusting in His Word.”

She knew the words were true, and wanted to make them real in her life. The Pastor was urging people who wanted to change their lives and make a new commitment to Christ to come forward.

Monica stood shakily and went to the front. She was surprised to see Joyce there. She didn’t know what to do next, but Joyce was smiling at her, and walked over.

“Can I pray with you Monica? I could tell during the service that God was speaking to you. Would you like to go outside with me so we can have some privacy?” Monica’s tears were clouding her vision, but she nodded and let Joyce lead her through a side exit.

They sat next to each other on a bench a few yards from the tent. Monica wiped her eyes and played with the front of her dress. She was nervous about being open with a person she had only just met. She wasn’t even sure what she was feeling. Joyce was gentle and didn’t ask Monica to share her thoughts. She just started to pray. Joyce took Monica’s hands in her own.

“Dear Father, we come before you now as little children. We don’t know what to do, or even what to say, but you know our needs. I thank you that you led Monica to the service tonight. God, it is obvious You’ve spoken to her heart in a very real way. I pray, Father that you would put Your arms of comfort around her. Whatever her need may be, God, I pray she would trust You to meet it. I feel sure Lord that You led her to me for a reason, and I intend to fulfill whatever role You would have me play in her relationship with You.

“Thank You God, that You want to be involved in our lives, that You care about our everyday struggles, and that You are waiting and ready to forgive our sin when we confess it. You are a wonderful God. I pray now that You would give me wisdom to help Monica in the way she needs Lord.

“I pray Father that whatever You’ve told her to do, that she will obey. Don’t let anything stop her. I know when she leaves this place tonight there will be all kinds of things the Devil will use to try and make her think what You’ve said isn’t important. Remind her otherwise. Give her a strength and courage she will know is only from You. Thank You in advance for what you will do in her life, and thank You for hearing my prayer. In the name of Jesus our Savior I pray, amen.”

Monica was overcome with emotion. She hadn’t heard someone pray for her in years. This woman she just met seemed to truly care for her. Being in this place made her think of her parents and all the years they spent trying to get her to come to church, to make the Lord a priority in her life. She missed them desperately in this moment. Monica didn’t dare look up yet. She wasn’t fully in control of her emotions. She hadn’t been in control of anything in years.

Joyce Lepley spoke softly to her. “Dear, if you want to share anything with me, I am more than happy to listen. If you just want me to sit here while you think or pray to the Lord on your own, I can do that too. Just let me know what you need.” Joyce smiled, and was relieved that Monica glanced up at her.

“Um, I need help.” Monica began in a whisper. “See, a long time ago I had a relationship with God. My parents are Christians and I was saved as a young girl. But I was a very stubborn and rebellious young woman. I didn’t listen to the warnings He sent my way and now I’m alienated from my parents, divorced from my husband, I’ve had an abortion and I’m addicted to cocaine.” She dared look Joyce Lepley in the eye. “Would God even want me back?”

The eyes that looked back at Monica were the eyes of hurt, as though Joyce Lepley herself had been felt the same things. “Let me tell you something,” Joyce said softly, “whenever we are ready to go back to the Lord, He is there with His arms wide open to receive us.

“No matter what you’ve done, it’s already been forgiven. Every sin you would ever commit is what Christ died on the cross for. He knew the choices you would make, and still decided you were worth it. Now, if you are a believer as you say, He longs for you to see Him as a Father. And to see yourself as His child. That means you have to obey Him and do what He asks of You, no matter how hard and He will help you any time you need it. All it takes to go back to Him is a simple conversation. Would you like to pray and get your life right with God, Monica?”

Joyce Lepley’s eyes were so full of compassion and warmth. Monica knew she desperately needed to get right with God. There was no telling when she would overdose, or what could be mixed with the cocaine she used. She didn’t want her life to continue down this path, or end with her heart still so full of shame. It had been a long time since she had even thought of God, except to curse Him, that she didn’t know where to begin.

“I’m not sure what to say. I don’t remember how to pray. It’s been a long time.” Monica closed her eyes tightly and took in a deep, ragged breath. She pressed her fingers in the corners of her eyes to prevent more tears.

Joyce spoke again softly. “All you have to do is talk to God like the Father He is. If you want to get back under His protection and feel His presence and love, tell Him what you’ve done, and how sorry you are. He’s waiting for you, Monica. He wants you to come to Him. It’s time to stop running. I’ll leave you here to talk with Him however you like. I’ll be just over there under the big oak tree, alright? Whenever you’re finished, I want you to come find me so we can talk.” Joyce patted her shoulder and went to stand where she promised.

Chapter Six

2008-03-28T00:07:00.000-07:00

The restaurant wasn’t at all crowded. People must have preferred to get a hotel room and find a place to eat there. The flight to Tennessee would not leave until eight the following morning. Sarah sat with Tyler and his Dad, enjoying their conversation and joking manner. It was obvious they loved each other very much.

“Hey, Dad,” Tyler said “bet you can’t eat all that steak.”

“Oh yeah?” His Dad countered while looking over his plate. “And what’s the prize if I do?”

“If you do, I’ll wash the car every Saturday for a month. And if you don’t, I get to take the car out every Saturday for a month.” Tyler was smiling as he laid out his bet. His eyes were shining. It was obvious to Sarah they did this often.

“Well now, I’m not sure that’s a bet I’m willing to make.” Mr. Williams took a bite of his steak before continuing. He moved the meat into his left cheek and said “Your Mother likes to go out for dinner now and again on a Saturday night, and she may not take too kindly to my wagering the car.” He wiggled his knife at Tyler and winked.

“Well then, you better eat all that steak whether you’re hungry or not.” Tyler replied.

“And why is that?” Asked his Father.

“Well, you wouldn’t want me to have bragging rights at the next Williams gathering. I’ll tell everyone I finally found a bet you were too chicken to take!” Tyler laughed.

Mr. Williams looked at his steak, then back at his son. “We definitely can’t have that. I’ve never backed down from a dare in all my fifty-four years.” He sighed and said “I guess you’ve got yourself a deal, Son. Even if it kills me. You just tell your Mother I loved her.” And he put another piece of steak into his mouth.

At this, Tyler cackled with laughter, and Sarah could no longer contain her giggles. They ate in comfortable silence then for a few minutes. Sarah was enjoying her food. It was some of the best she’d ever had. Since she’d been living on gas station and burger joint food, this was a real treat. It was almost like they were sitting at home together having dinner at the table. Sarah wondered if this was what it was like to be part of a real family.

“So, Sarah. What are you planning to study in school?” Mr. Williams asked. “Have you decided, or are you going to get your general courses out of the way first, and then see what’s what?”

Sarah swallowed the bite she was chewing, and wiped her mouth with a napkin before answering. “I already know what I want to do. I want to be a teacher. I just haven’t decided if it will be K-12 or older children. I think I’ll wait until I have some experience in the classroom before deciding.”

Mr. Williams looked impressed. “And may I ask why you’ve chosen to be a teacher? It’s not an easy thing to do in this day and age. There are a lot of rebellious youth out there. I must say I admire your courage.”

“Well,” Sarah began. She thought about what exactly she should say before continuing. “I didn’t have a very good home life growing up, and there were a lot of teachers who cared about me and helped me a lot. They were very encouraging, and I believe without their support I may not be here right now. School was one place I felt safe, so I threw myself into my studies. And it’s paid off.” Sarah took a drink of her lemon water.
Mr. Williams looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing the conversation. “I’m sorry to hear that you had such a hard time growing up. It takes courage and initiative to rise above your circumstances and make a way for yourself. I’m sure you’re a very hard worker. You’re to be commended. If you don’t mind my asking, just how well have your studies paid off?

Sarah smiled. She didn’t normally like talking about herself, but Mr. Williams didn’t seem to mind she hadn’t had the perfect home life. Besides, he had no idea how bad it truly had been. And he told her she had courage and initiative. It felt good to be praised for working hard.

“I don’t mind at all. I am state-winning Cross Country runner, and I have carried a 4.3 GPA. I’ve taken every advanced class that my school offers, and I am graduating with honors as the valedictorian of my class. The college we’re visiting this weekend has offered me a full ride.”

As Sarah finished her sentence, she realized maybe she sounded proud. While she had worked hard and was proud of herself, she hated that trait in other people. She quickly added “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging. I know I don’t deserve any of those things. I need the scholarship or I won’t be able to go to college at all. My Mother can’t help me pay for it, and I have no idea where my Father is, if he’s even still alive. I don’t even remember him.”

She took a long sip from her water glass, then picked the seeds out of a tomato in her salad. She had said too much. They were both strangely quiet. Soon they would start asking questions, and she wasn’t prepared to answer them. She excused herself to the restroom to regain her composure.

When Sarah left the table, the Williams men took the opportunity to discuss her spiritual state. “Tyler, has Sarah said anything to you that would indicate she knows the Lord?”

“No, Dad. She said she’s never even been inside a church, and that her family has never been either. Now we know she has no relationship with her Dad. Oh, and she told me she’s never met her Mom’s parents. Doesn’t sound like a very happy home.” Tyler shook his head before biting into his burger.

“Well, let’s not press her for information. It seems she’s already said more than she intended. The Lord may be working on her, but we need to be careful not to pressure her. Will you commit to pray with me for her this weekend?” Mr. Williams face was serious as he questioned his son.

“Sure, Dad. I have been praying God would give me an opportunity to witness to her. It just hasn’t been the right time.” Tyler smiled briefly to himself as he said “But I think He’s doing something there.” Tyler turned back to his burger. A few more bites and he would be finished.

“Good. I believe Christ will be honored if you start your interest in her at a spiritual level.” Mr. Williams gave Tyler a knowing look. Sarah arrived back at the table before Tyler could say anything in response. He sat for a moment with his mouth hanging open, burger poised in front of his mouth.

“Everything ok?” Sarah asked as she sat and replaced her napkin. “I can’t wait to get back to my food. This has been one of the best meals I have ever had. Thanks Mr. Williams for including me.” She smiled and went back to eating.

Both the men seemed content to eat in thoughtful silence, and Sarah was thankful they didn’t ask any more questions about her past. She was already very embarrassed that she kept spouting out personal things.

She looked back and forth between the men as they picked back up the dare conversation. Mr. Williams had about 1/3 of his steak remaining. He was looking a bit full. He kept puffing out his cheeks and letting the air from his lungs vibrate his lips like a horse.

“Well, Son looks like you’re going to win this bet after all. But don’t say I didn’t try!” Mr. Williams patted his stomach, and finally laid his napkin over his plate in defeat. “I’ll just have to take your Mother out on Fridays instead.” He laughed.

The rest of the meal through dessert continued in good-natured teasing. When Mr. Williams found out Sarah was from Orrville, his son’s football rival, he joked Sarah was going to have to pay for dinner.

Sarah looked between the two men again. She wasn’t just content, she felt truly happy. She didn’t remember ever feeling like this. It was certainly an evening she wouldn’t soon forget.

******************

As they were walking from the restaurant a short while later, Sarah started wondering what they would do all night. She didn’t want to share a hotel room with them, but she couldn’t afford one of her own. She would wait and see what happened. Maybe they were planning to sleep on the chairs at the gate. That was just fine with Sarah. She had slept in a lot worse places.

Tyler looked over as they were walking and smiled at her. He was the first guy she’d ever felt comfortable with. The other guys at school were creeps. They would look her over with an approving stare, much like the men her Mother kept company with. But not Tyler. He had been every inch a gentleman. There was definitely something different about him.

They walked past their gate, and when Sarah shot a questioning look at Mr. Williams he explained “Well, I took the liberty of booking us in a nearby hotel. No use in us being uncomfortable. You two need to be your best this weekend. You’ll be taking in a lot of information, and may be asked to decide you living quarters and things. It won’t do for you to be dragging your feet. We wouldn’t want them to rethink their scholarship offers, now would we?” He smiled as they walked and adjusted his bag over his shoulder. Tyler had taken Sarah’s bag from her when they left the restaurant and was also carrying his own.

“Tyler and I will share one room, and I booked you a room of your own as well Sarah. I hope that’s alright.” Mr. Williams looked over at her, but couldn’t gage her reaction.

“Oh. That’s very kind of you.” Sarah managed to get out through her surprise. “I don’t expect you to pay for it, though. I don’t have the money with me right now, but I will pay you back when we get home.”

“Don’t you worry. If it were Tyler with another family I would want someone to help him in the same way.” Mr. Williams stopped and looked at her before continuing. It’s just one way God has told me to help you. I believe He has big plans for you, Sarah. I’m just obeying what He’s given me to do. Don’t think another minute about paying me back. It’s the Lord’s money anyway.”

Sarah was at a loss for words again. Never in her life had someone paid for her to stay in a hotel. And she had never heard anyone say that their money was God’s. A room all to herself with her own bathroom? Well, she could hardly wait to get there and enjoy the comfort of carpet, painted walls, and a real bed. Oh, and she would take a long bubble bath. She had a lot to think about.

Chapter Five

2008-03-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Lepley had just stepped out of a quick shower. She’d been busy at the library all day, what with waiting on the patrons and re-shelving books. She also had a little side project she was working on that she hoped would be completed before Sunday night. If all went well, it was going to be perfect.

She blew her hair dry, ran a brush through it, then went downstairs to see if Mr. Lepley was ready for supper before they headed out. Their church was hosting a tent meeting this weekend, and they had to be there in a little over an hour. Dinner would be leftovers, but Mrs. Lepley hadn’t a choice, really. Mr. Lepley wasn’t picky anyway. Besides, she’d made his favorite yesterday. He’d be more than happy to have it again.

While she was heating up the food, she had the strongest urge to pray for the night’s meeting. She always helped out as an altar worker, but tonight she felt the Lord impressing upon her a desperate need to pray, like there was a struggle going on with someone somewhere. She bowed her head and silently sent up a petition.

“Lord, I don’t know what You have planned tonight. I know last night was such a blessing, and we had a lot of visitors. I pray tonight that Your will be done. Please help anyone who is unsure whether they should come or not to make the decision to attend. It could very well change their life. I pray God You would use me as You see fit. Let Jesus shine like a beacon to the lost tonight. Fill the speaker with Your wisdom, and help hearts be softened and ready to hear Your Word. You’re so good to me God. Thank you for letting me serve you as a daughter. Please be with Sarah wherever she is right now, and let her know You love her. If she’s the one struggling, I pray Lord she will just give herself to you. If it’s someone else, I pray they would surrender to Your call. Thank you God for all that You do on my behalf. In Jesus name, amen.”

Peace flooded Mrs. Lepley, and she felt ready for whatever the Lord should send her way tonight. She looked over at Mr. Lepley who was perched on a stool at the breakfast bar. He glanced up to meet her stare and she smiled. He winked and went back to reading the paper. God had indeed been good to her, she thought.

********************

Monica was struggling. She wanted to make it to the tent meeting tonight. She knew she needed it desperately, but she needed a fix bad too. It was five thirty now. If she had a small hit it would wear off just before she would need to leave. But then would come the crash, depression and anxiety. Besides she didn’t have any in the house, and didn’t have time to go get some. She had a distinct feeling God wanted to change her life tonight, and she was determined not to mess it up.

My daughter, be still and know that I am God. Come unto me Monica. You are burdened and heavy laden. I will give you rest.

Monica didn’t know where the voice had come from. Was she imagining things? Remembrance washed over her, and she knew those words were in the Bible. Could God really be speaking to her after all the years she’d ignored Him, and all the horrible things she’d done to herself and Sarah?

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, Monica. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

The voice was as clear as if she were hearing it out loud. Surely it must be God encouraging her to go tonight. She decided to make an extra effort in preparing herself. She’d shower and clean herself up. Maybe even put on a dress. If
she did all that, maybe she could ignore the craving for a hit. She was desperate to change her life. She was not going miss this opportunity.

Monica was just stepping out of the shower when she heard banging on the front door. She didn’t dare look out the window. She was sure it was Joe wanting his money. Well, she just didn’t have it. She’d wait until he was gone before leaving the house. He wouldn’t understand what she was doing. If he did, he wouldn’t like it.

She continued to get ready amidst the pounding and swearing. Joe didn’t seem to be tiring, or leaving. Monica didn’t let it bother her. She’d gotten away from Joe plenty of times before and had always smoothed things over later. She dried her hair and curled it, ignoring the shaking in her hands. She was feeling anxious, too. And the depression was setting in. But her determination was greater. She knew in her heart if she didn’t make this meeting tonight she may never get another chance.

I will not leave you comfortless, Monica. My Spirit of truth abides in you. But without me ye can do nothing.

Now Monica was more determined than ever to make it to that meeting. She wouldn’t stay here and think about Joe, or the cocaine. Every minute she stayed, she weakened. She knew she could talk Joe out of his anger, but she couldn’t hold off a hit much longer. The voice in her heart told her she could do nothing without Him. She knew she must ask God for help. She wasn’t sure how to begin, it had been so long.

She threw her brush down onto the bed. “Jesus, I need help.” She said out loud. “I can’t do this myself. I want a hit so bad. I’m scared. Please, help me.” Monica fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands. She didn’t know how she would get away from Joe in this state.

A strength she hadn’t felt in years filled her. She finished her hair, dressed quickly, grabbed her purse and walked down the stairs before this feeling went away.

She could still hear Joe on the front porch pounding and threatening for all he was worth. Monica walked calmly into the kitchen and picked up the portable phone from its cradle on the wall. She dialed 9-1-1 and reported a disturbance. Then she hung up before they could ask her name. That should keep Joe busy for a while.

Monica picked up her keys. She couldn’t risk opening the garage. Surely Joe would stop her then. She went out the back door instead, locking it securely behind her. She went through her back yard toward the alley, then walked behind the other houses in her neighborhood toward Vine Street. The church wasn’t far. She would be there in time for the service. That voice inside her urged her on, and she didn’t dare disobey.

*********************

Mr. and Mrs. Lepley had just pulled into the church parking lot. There weren’t many cars yet. They always came early to help with last minute set up. Of course there was a committee set up to handle the goings on of the meetings, but sometimes there were last minute emergencies. Tonight, however, there wasn’t much to do so Mrs. Lepley put her things on a chair and watched for new faces to arrive.

The crowd started gathering about ten minutes before the service was scheduled to begin. The worship team was on the platform playing soft worship songs and hymns as background music. The atmosphere seemed festive. The evening was pleasantly cool, people were chatting with one another, and the music was lively. Mrs. Lepley smiled as she looked around. It was going to be a good evening.

When she turned around, Mrs. Lepley noticed a woman walking timidly into the tent. She was dressed in a nice knee length summer dress. Her hair was done up, and it appeared she had been to church many times. But the nervous and unsure expression on her face gave away the fact she was a visitor. She was just the kind of person Mrs. Lepley dealt with best.

She walked up to the woman and held out her hand. “Hi there. My name is Joyce Lepley. Is this your first time here?”

The woman nodded. She seemed distracted and looked over her shoulder several times, as though someone were following her. The woman ran her hands down the front of her skirt to smooth it, then seemed to shake off her nervousness. She held out her hand and introduced herself.

“I’m Monica. Yes, this is my first time here. I was hoping I wouldn’t be late.” The woman tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked around at the people chatting in small groups. It was obvious to Mrs. Lepley that she was uncomfortable.

“Monica- what a lovely name. Tell you what,” Mrs. Lepley began, “my husband and I are sitting right over there. Would you like to join us? There’s plenty of room.” Mrs. Lepley took Monica’s elbow and lead her to the seats she had reserved. “You just get comfortable here and I’ll be right back.” Then she walked toward a group of women near the platform.

“Get comfortable, yeah right.” Monica thought to herself. How could she have thought God wanted her to come here? She wasn’t like these people. If they knew who she was or what she had done, they would make her leave for sure. Guilt flooded her heart, and she bowed her head in sorrow, covering her face with her hands, though she refused to cry.

Godly sorrow worketh repentance, Monica. I am your shield and your glory. I am the lifter of your head. Cry unto me, and I will hear you out of my holy hill. I have loved you with an everlasting love. Seek me, and you will find me when you have searched for me with all your heart.

Monica looked up then, as if she would see the Lord standing right before her. The words were so clear. There was no condemnation in the voice she heard. It was almost as if He were pleading with her to believe Him. She wanted to with all of her heart, but why would He want her back?

Surely she had gone too far out of His way to be taken in again. She had done too much, ignored Him for too long to ever be given another chance. Well, Monica decided, since she was already here she would stay for the rest of the service, then go home and forget she ever came.

Chapter Four

2008-03-24T00:05:00.000-07:00

“So,” Tyler said with a relaxed sigh. “Where you from? Do you live in Ohio or are you just passing through?” He leaned back in the seat and shoved his hands deep in his pockets, evidently preparing himself for a long chat.

Sarah wondered how much she should reveal about herself. Why would he want to know these things about her? Had her Mother somehow found out what she was doing, and sent them as spies?

As soon as the thought entered her mind, she rejected it. She was being foolish. She’d be turning eighteen tomorrow anyway. What could it hurt to spend a few hours chatting with a young man her age? He certainly couldn’t force her to go anywhere with him in such a public place. And Sarah was quite adept at protecting herself. She decided to answer his questions, but vaguely. Maybe she could turn the conversation away from herself.

“I’m from Ohio, not passing through.” Sarah thought that answer should be brief enough. She stared straight ahead out the window to discourage any further conversation.

But her indifference only seemed to make him all the more interested in her. “Really? I’m from Ohio too. What part of Ohio do you live in? We’re about 50 miles south of Cleveland. Nice area, surrounded by farm country. We’re close to the place where they make Smucker’s Jelly.”

Sarah’s eyes widened at his comment. He must be from close to where she lived. The town that made Smucker’s Jelly was Orrville, and that was where she lived. Suddenly she was more interested in this Tyler Williams.

“Really?” Sarah answered, turning toward Tyler. She sat sideways in her seat now so she could better converse with him. “I’m from Orrville. You must be from Wooster or Smithville or Rittman?”

Tyler smiled, and his dimple caught Sarah’s eye yet again. “Yes! I am from Wooster. You know we’re football rivals. Maybe I should go back and sit with my Father now. I wouldn’t want to be seen with a Red Rider next to me.” Tyler’s tone was teasing, and Sarah found she was enjoying it rather than being afraid.

“Well, I did hear that the Generals were afraid of us. Now you’ve proven it!” She laughed in response. “Where are you headed? Visiting relatives out of town?” Sarah couldn’t believe she was being so bold with a stranger. But Tyler had a way about him that made her feel comfortable.

“Actually we’re on our way to tour a college. It’s not a huge school, but they offer what I want and they’ve given me a pretty good scholarship for football.” Tyler looked out the window a moment before continuing. “It’s supposed to be a really great school. It was highly recommended. Plus, it’s close to the Smoky Mountains.” Now he faced Sarah. “What could be better than that?”

Sarah sat in disbelief. Not only was this young man from her area, they were going to check out the same college! Sarah tried in vain to keep the shock from registering on her face. This was unreal. What a coincidence!

“You’ll never guess where I’m going this weekend.” Sarah said with a nervous laugh. “I think we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, as I’m going to check out a school near the mountains too. Are you by any chance going to visit Dale College?”

“Yes!” Tyler was equally surprised. “Wow. That’s really great. See? I believe we were supposed to meet. To be honest with you, I’ll feel a whole lot better just knowing there’ll be a familiar face around campus. I admit I’m a little nervous about the whole thing. I’ve never been away from my parents for any length of time. Isn’t it just like God to bring me a friend before I even get there?” Tyler shook his head in what seemed to Sarah like thankful disbelief.

Suddenly the words from Mrs. Lepley’s prayer rushed to her mind. “Please lead her to a good friend, someone she can confide in. I pray you would protect her in every situation…”

Why was she thinking of this now? Was Tyler God’s answer to Mrs. Lepley’s prayer? Nonsense. It was just a coincidence that was all. Tyler spoke again.

“You know, my Father and I prayed before we left that God would send me a good friend. Who knew the answer would come in such a pretty package?”

Sarah was surprised to hear Tyler speak so openly about God and praying. Most people her age only talked about getting a car, what they did last weekend, or who they were interested in taking to prom. The only person who had ever spoken to Sarah about God was Mrs. Lepley.

“So, you go to church anywhere?” Tyler was now asking.

“Um, no. My family has never gone to church. I’ve never even been inside one.” Sarah didn’t want to talk about it. Obviously Tyler thought God was answering his prayers by bringing them together, but Sarah wasn’t convinced.

“Really? You’ve never been in a church before? Not even for a wedding or funeral? Most people have been at least once for that.” Tyler seemed truly shocked. How could Sarah explain without giving away too much of her past?

“Well, my family has never been religious, and there aren’t any relatives around. My parents split when I was a baby, and I lived with my Mother. I’ve never even met her parents. Maybe they’re already dead.” Sarah looked down at her shoes, and wished she had just told Tyler to change the subject.

“Oh.” And that was all Tyler said. All Sarah cared about was that he was talking about something else now. “So, how come your Mom isn’t with you on the trip? Is she working or something?”

This topic of conversation was definitely out of Sarah’s realm of comfort. "You know what, Tyler? I would love to take a walk. We've got what, an hour before the plane takes off? Then we'll be sitting for a while. How about we go get a Coke or something. Would your Dad let you do that with me?" Sarah smiled weakly, surprising herself with her boldness and moved her gaze to the floor. Tyler picked up on her discomfort and let the question fade.

“Sure, he won’t mind. He’d be worried if you walked off on your own. He’s protective like that. Let me just tell him what we’re doing and I’ll be right back.”

Tyler jogged over to where his Father was sitting. Sarah stretched, then saw Tyler looking her way and pointing while speaking with his Father. Then the man looked over, and Sarah waved shyly. He then nodded his approval, and Tyler came jogging back.

“He says it’s fine, but when we get back he’d like to be introduced. Since we’ll be spending so much time together this weekend, that is.” Tyler winked and led Sarah out of the maze of seats. She had decided that since they would be going to speak with Tyler’s Father when they got back that she would go ahead and leave her bag with him.

Sarah wanted to explain to Tyler that her life was not something she was comfortable talking about, but she didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding stand-offish and rude. She was truly interested in spending more time with him, but it was too soon to be speaking of such personal things.

Tyler spoke before she could even form a sentence in her mind. “Sarah, listen. I’m sorry if I got too personal back there. Your life is really none of my business. I’m just a friendly person and sometimes I ask too many questions, or the wrong kind of questions. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Do you forgive me?” Tyler looked like a puppy caught doing something naughty.

No one had ever asked Sarah for forgiveness before. Certainly he did nothing to warrant needing forgiveness. Her Mother had hurt her multiple times and had allowed heinous things to go on, and never once had she sought Sarah’s forgiveness. Tyler’s questions were a far cry from the things she had experienced in her past. Sarah didn’t know what to say.

“It’s really not that big a deal.” Sarah began. “If you promise not to ask me any more personal questions, I’ll promise not to bring up the fact that Wooster hasn’t beaten Orrville on the football field in the past eight years. Deal?”

Tyler narrowed his eyes in a playful way and said “Deal. And I will choose to ignore that last comment rather than hold it against you. You do know you’re talking to the starting quarterback, don’t you?”

Sarah clapped a hand over her mouth. She had totally forgotten he had mentioned receiving a football scholarship. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t a good player. I was just, well; I don’t know what I was trying to do. Maybe now you can forgive me?” Sarah was obviously embarrassed and flustered.

“I’m only kidding. It’s not a big deal. I just thought I’d give you a hard time. Really, I’m not offended. Much.” He winked at her again before continuing. “So, where are we going anyway?” He looked around at the many shops and restaurants lining the walkway of the airport.

“Good question. I had forgotten what we were doing. I enjoy talking with you Tyler. You seem like a genuinely nice guy, and that’s a rare thing. Do you mind if we just keep walking for a bit? I’m not really ready to sit down yet.” Tyler nodded his consent, and they walked in comfortable silence, each of them thinking about their unusual but pleasant meeting.

Suddenly a loud bong followed by an announcement came over the loud speakers. “Ladies and Gentlemen, due to severe thunderstorms announced by the National Weather Service, all flights scheduled to leave in the next two hours will be delayed. If you will please go to your departure gate, airport personnel will be happy to assist you. Thank you.”

Groans sounded from the passengers around Tyler and Sarah. They looked at each other and shrugged. If their flight was delayed, they had that much more time to get to know one another. So on they walked. They stopped every so often to look at the huge art deco murals. They all depicted different aspects of progress and technology in America.

After walking the length of Terminal three, Tyler and Sarah decided to make their way back to the gate. Though it was mostly empty, Tyler’s Father was still there with all their things, reading a newspaper. He looked up as they approached.

“Did you have a nice walk?” He asked while smiling. Sarah was struck by how much Tyler looked like his Father. “Did you hear the announcement they made a while ago?”

“Yeah.” Tyler said. “That’s why we took so long in getting back. So, where is everyone?” Again Sarah noticed that most everyone had gone somewhere else.

“Well,” Tyler’s Father started. “The airline has cancelled our flight. Seems the storm is getting worse, and they just can’t risk it. Lightning is very dangerous, and the winds in this storm are pretty powerful. There may also be hail in higher elevations that could damage the plane. By the time the storm passes, our pilot’s hours would be up and they would have to secure a new pilot. While this inconveniences us, it’s the best decision.”

He put down his paper on the seat beside him and stretched. “So, what do you say I buy us all dinner at the Sky Galley? The view of the airplanes is supposed to be great, although there won’t be any new take-offs tonight. Are you hungry?”

Now that their flight was canceled, Sarah was thankful not to be alone. Tyler and his Father offered company and also protection. Sarah had never felt this way in the company of a grown man, and it made her feel nice. She was also thankful to be getting a free dinner. Her budget had not included eating out any more than the pizza she’d had for lunch.

The thought crossed her mind that maybe God was looking down on her. Maybe He did care. Or maybe He just cared about Tyler and his Dad. In any case, Sarah intended to enjoy her evening.